Who Watches the Boyfriend?

Silk Spectre II is the daughter of Silk Spectre (who was also somewhat of a hot superhero). She’s plays tough, but is ultimately just looking for the right nerd to settle down with. Her past relationships involve a radioactively altered blue dude and a guy who wears a cape and builds spaceships.

Any attempt to dress you in a rubber suit should be avoided. If you say yes to this small request you’re only encouraging the behavior.

Sign of Trouble #2 - He wants to be disintegrated to gain powers

Dr. Manhattan gained his superpowers when he was caught in an “Intrinsic Field Subtractor.” Everyone watched as his body seemingly exploded only to reassemble itself later in the glowing blue form you see above.

If your boyfriend really wants to be disintegrated, this could be an easy out of your crazy superhero relationship (Guidespot does not condone the disintegrating of anyone). If you still like him enough to keep him around, just be wary when he refuses to wear clothes, tries to predict the future and paints himself blue.

Sign of Trouble #3 - He gets mad if you say he looks like Batman

So you’ve talked him out of the disintegration route. Don’t get too comfortable. There are plenty of superheros who just like the feeling of dressing up in spandex and making owl themed gadgets.

While Nite Owl seems like a good-natured role to play, prepare to have your basement gutted and turned into a secret cave full of gizmos that will ultimately be the demise of your love interest. I mean, sure Nite Owl can build a floating spaceship or hovercrafts, but I don’t have the same high hopes for my fellow nerds.

Milhouse is proof positive of the nerd love

Not that I have anything against nerds. I’m definitely a member of this group.

If he gets to this point, just have him committed.

Rorschach is a badass all the time, but not stable enough to have a solid relationship. Even after the other superheroes hang up their rubber boots and silk capes, he continues to fight crime. He sees the world as black and white with no moral template. And if you want to cuddle when he already planned on breaking someone’s fingers, cuddle time will have to wait.

Sign of Trouble #5 - He is constantly smoking a cigar

While The Comedian is definitely a “bad boy,” which many girls would love to see their nerd evolve into, I would suggest nipping this one in the smiley face bud.

You may be asking, “But why Hi Liner? Why would I want to stop my little nerd from blossoming into this hunk of badassery?”

The biggest reason is that The Comedian dies. Right off the bat. Dead.

Sign of Trouble #6 - He starts collecting squids

You may think that a squid is a just a delicious appetizer. You may think that his squid collection is kind of funny in a crazy person kind of way. You may also be an accomplice to the end of the world.

Don’t let him collect squids. Don’t let him throw them at people. Don’t try to understand, just stop this behavior in its tracks.

Signs That You Didn't Act Fast Enough

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He’s changed his Facebook picture to this “totally sweet camera phone picture” his buddy took of him while shopping at the mall.

I’m sorry to say that all hope is lost. On the bright side, at least he’s one of the good guys. A slightly overweight good guy, but still one of the good guys.