How To Protect Yourself From Stupid People

They Go By The Name, Douchebag

This is how I can best describe these douchebags. They go to bars, pick on women who don’t wear much, and stare at them while drinking many beers. Do you know who I speak of?

They Like To Jump Into Rocks

I don’t know about you, but OUCH! That doesn’t look like a SMART, logical thing to do. Jumping into rocks is stupid.

They Like To Push Their Strollers On Unstable Devices

Running with a stroller is a lot more safe than pushing it while on a Segway. Looks like mom wants to be in that stroller instead of being concerned with the precious life she’s pushing.

They Like To Show Off

Sometimes stupid people get a little over confident and decide to show the world their junk. Thanks, but no thanks.

Wear Protective Gear

You never know when you might run into a stupid person. You must not let them know you are aware of their stupidity. No matter what you might say to try and persuade them, they are still going to do stupid things.

Just keep on walking.

Just Throw Balls At Them

Always keep a spare ball tucked away in your bag. It doesn’t matter what size ball it is. Sometimes golf balls can be much more effective.

Just Slap Your Ass

If these tactics don’t work. Just lay down and slap your ass at them. This way, they may get the point that they are idiots and doing stupid things.

Block Them Out

If you’ve still had enough, just board up your windows so you don’t have to listen, see, or be a part of the stupid world. This way, they will not penetrate your lifestyle.

Okay, going too far here… but seriously I would do this if I had no other option.

If You Can't Beat 'em Join 'em

Even if you are as cool as you think you are. I guess we’re all a little stupid. Just embrace the moment and then let it pass over like thunderstorm. Then, go home and cry.

They Cut Off Their Oxygen For Fun

I’m not sure if this is what happens to make people stupid or if it’s because they already are. Why cut yourself off from oxygen?!

They Are Obnoxious Sports Fans

I think most Cubs Fans. can be considered stupid people. If you’re a Cubs fan, I do apologize, but my backyard is your breeding grounds. I speak from observation only.

They May Ask Stupid Questions

For instance, “Excuse me, am I tall enough to ride this?” The answers may be right behind them. Let’s just say I’ve been asked many stupid questions and um… asked a few myself.

They Like To Show Off Their Money

Maybe I’m a little conservative when it comes to spending money, but I don’t care about how much you spent on your new Hummer, a.k.a. gas guzzler thing.

They Like To Grow Beer Bellies

Is this attractive? I think it’s pretty stupid. Apparently it’s a growing phenomenon amongst many stupid people. YUCK!

Sometimes They Take Pictures Of Themselves

They may not realize there is a world spinning around them. Sometimes they get lost in a world of their own and take pictures of their stupidity.

The Face Mask

Sometimes you can shield your face by wearing a face mask. This way, those Cubs fans can’t get under your skin. It will be challenging to walk around in mid summer this way, but it’s better than the alternative.

Look Out For Stupid Drivers On Your Bike!

Place this device on your bicycle and be aware of all the stupid drivers on the street that try and run you over.

Check it out bikers Biking in Chicago.

Protect Yourself At Work

You never know what might come your way at work. So be prepared and wear a face mask. Again, this face mask idea could protect you from stupidity!

Stare Them Down With Your Coolness

Sometimes the only way to deal with stupidity is to allow them to see that you are actually staring them down with your coolness. Hey, they may not realize it at the time, but you are cool.

Just Point And Laugh

What stupid people really want is attention. Sometimes all we really have to do is point and laugh at them. Even if that means watching them get run over by a parked tractor.

Escape To Nowhere

When I’m tired of living around stupid people in the city, I want to move to a secluded cottage in the middle of nowhere. That way, I can do my own stupid things.