Office Pranks

by brianp - August 25, 2008

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Pranking is an age-old artform that involves screwing around with someone close to you. Hopefully to the point of making them cry.

When you prank a friend, you prank yourself in a
way. Remind them of this when they’re standing over you with a crowbar,
prepared to bury it in your head. A good prank deserves another, and if your
friend has any brains they’ll just respond in kind, hopefully pushing the
envelope just a bit more with each return.

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When pranking someone, it’s important that you
know how they’ll react. While it’s funny for me to joke about someone burying a
crowbar (or other heavy blunt object) into your head, in real life it would
hurt. If someone is the office clown, they’ll probably either react in one of
two ways – they’ll laugh and get you back at some point, or their precious
small amount of self esteem will crumble and they’ll burn your house down. So
start small and slowly increase the pranks. Remember to match prank to prank.

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The mouse joke. This one’s been
around since computers. All you need to do is either take out the ball on
the bottom of the mouse or put a piece of tape over the laser. Depends on
what kind they have. Either way, it’s fun.
The keyboard joke. All you need
for this one is a screwdriver or some fingernails to get underneath some
keys. I prefer the dash & the plus key. These are rarely used and when
you switch them the victim rarely realizes. I did this once to a guy and
he remapped his keyboard cause he couldn’t figure it out.
The mail slot joke. Purchase some
(i.e. as many as you can fit) ping pong balls and fill it up. If it’s an
open-ended mail slot like many places have, tape a piece of paper over the
front.
The coin trick. First, make sure
it’s ok to ruin the floor by the victim. Then get a dollar coin and
superglue it to the ground by the victim.
The
cup. Fill a cup with water about half way.
Then place an index card over the cup. Then turn the cup upside down on
your co-worker’s desk. Finally, carefully slide the index card out from
underneath the cup. Whenever your co-worker decides to pick the cup up, he
will be drenched in water.
Phone
trick. Tape down the receiver button. This way when they lift up the
receiver the phone keeps ringing.
Pen trick. Remove
all the ink from victim’s pens. Try to do this before a big meeting where they can’t leave and talking will get them in trouble.

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Small animal trick. Buy a gerbil
and put it in the victim’s drawer. You’re responsible for the animal
though, so think this through.
Internet trick. Buy your victim’s
name on a DNS site. For example, buy JohnEvans.com and then post embarrassing
things about him.
New opening trick. Post a job
opening for your victim. Post it on Craigslist, HotJobs and anywhere you
possibly can. Put your victim’s number, email, etc. as the contact. This
way they get applications for their own position.
Sink trick. Put a rubber band
around the sprayer of the sink, that way when they turn the water on it
sprays them.
Love letter. Print out a risqué
letter, mentioning your victim by their first name. Leave it by the
printer as if someone forgot to take it with them.

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Gross. Poo in the victim’s private sink. ‘nuff
said.
Locked out. Seal someone’s car lock
with super glue. This doesn’t work as well as it used to given the more
electronic nature of vehicles today.
Fishy. Hide a dead fish somewhere
by the victim. Make sure it’s somewhere they won’t find right away. I
recommend behind a drawer or taped to the bottom of a drawer. Alternately,
use a can of tuna with holes punched in the top.

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: by GillianS 03/28/2008 Reply

I know someone that went to jail for supergluing someone’s locks, so, um, careful about that one…

: by Nina 03/06/2008 Reply

Gee Brian, there are several websites around the country with your name and number saying you’ll work for free but you can only take calls between midnight and 6:00 am.