Categories: Dating & Relationships; Humor

Love Drugs: The Drug Cocktail of Attraction, Sex and Love

By darlingnikki
updated 3 months ago

Contrary to popular opinion, love is not a drug, it’s a whole trunk full of drugs. Imagine Raoul Duke’s crazy drug collection in Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas:

"We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, laughers, screamers..."

You may think this is a bit much, but this is your brain on love, resulting in obsessive thoughts, sleepless night, reduced need to eat, heart palpatations and of course the amped up sex drive. What do you do? How do you navigate the crazy trip without completely losing your mind? Keep it in perspective.

The First Whiff

You catch eyes across the bar…the heart starts to race like you just did seventy five pellets of mescaline. The dude across the way becomes the most attractive, desirable human being on the planet even though his face is slightly pockmarked. You don’t say anything to him then because you’re afraid your tongue may fall out. But now you have a mission…you go out of your way to see him, you think about him all the time and your period comes on a week early.

This is a result of the havoc his stinky pheremones wreak on your hormones. Basically, it releases a ton of norepenephrine, the flight or fight chemical, which sets your heart a-racing.

Doping Up

Finally, after many inhibition-numbing shots of tequila, you, dressed in your revealing yet not-too-slutty low cut t and favorite jeans, sidle up to him and bum a smoke. You don’t even smoke. You cough your lungs out but he pretends not to notice. You tell him he has great eyes (oh yes, the window to his soul) and eventually he succumbs to your charms and the two of you are lip locked on a street corner while others pretend not to notice. The initial high of the neurepenephrine is now laced over the heady high of dopamine. PDA is in the offing.

Orgasm Addicts

You two go back to your place. You knock over the lamp in an eager effort to strip off your t-shirt and jeans. You push him into your bed and start grinding body parts against each other. This may not be love but it feels like it will never end.

When it does and the two of you are entwined, slack-limbed, him snoring and you’re letting out a peaceful sigh, the oxytocin kicks in. It is the ecstasy of this chemical cocktail—you don’t know where he ends and you begin…the cheap cotton sheets feel like silk and all of your nerve endings are singing sweet, sweet songs.

When it Wears Off

Eventually this crazy trip comes to an end. No longer are you at the whim of a chemistry experiment gone wrong. Maybe you have locked limbs with the man of your dreams, maybe you find out his credit score is less than appealing or his politics are all wrong. If the initial speedball mellows into a manageable espresso rush followed by a delicious Malbec, you are in luck. If it is just one bad trip after another, you might want to seek rehab.

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.