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How To Be a "Loose Woman" in Los Angeles
- by elisa
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- June 29, 2009
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The other day, I heard someone refer to "loose women," which made me laugh, because really, who says that anymore? And that got me thinking, it's really not fair that women are called "loose," while men who behave similarly are just called well...men. So I say it's time we ladies took back looseness ("loosidity?")-- who's with me?
"Where Have All the Loose Women Gone?"
Esquire looks for some answers.
Tips on How to Be A "Loose Woman":
Go to Bars By Yourself
Because Lord knows any “self-respecting” women wouldn’t DARE to sit at a bar without a male companion.
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Oh come on,…..this isn’t THAT bad….right?
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Definitely not— and your chances of someone buying you drinks increase two-fold when you’re flying solo!
...And Once You're There, Drink Like a Fish
And I’m not talking about two glasses of Chardonnay at dinner.
Eat Burgers Messily
Hey, it worked for Paris, Padma, and Audrina.
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I have no idea who Audrina is, Paris is a big “PFFFFF” for me, but boy does it bum me out to see Padma in these ads. She actually knows something about fine foods, bummer way to make some bucks…
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Not that I didn’t gnosh down a Whopper the other day on the way out of town… :)
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Sometimes I get loose with my diet, especially when I have a 4 hour drive ahead of me.
Despite Her Snobbish Foodie Tendencies, Padma Makes Love to a Burger
Or she just likes taunting men on national television.
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i don’t care what anyone says i still idolize padma!!
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If she can make a fast food burger look HOT and CLASSY then she’s got my respect!
Audrina Partridge's Carl's Jr. Commercial
The latest lady to join the sexy Carl’s Jr. burger brigade.
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love her
Purchase Ridiculous Undergarments
If your underwear can’t be described as white or “full-coverage,” then you’re definitely asking for “it.” (It being “you know what.”)
... And Then, Wax (It All) Off
As we all know, only hussies engage in the pastime better known as “personal grooming.”
Show Some Skin
This idea was probably best summed up in the 1995 film classic Clueless:
“Sometimes you have to show a little skin. This reminds boys of being naked, and then they think of sex.”
Get Yourself a "Goodie Drawer"
When I was writing this I was totally thinking of that episode of “Sex and the City” where Magda replaces Miranda’s vibrator with a statuette of the Virgin Mary. That is all.
Wear Red Lipstick
I think this one is pretty self-explanatory. Plus, it comes in handy when you want to leave inappropriate messages on people’s bathroom mirrors.
Red Lipstick Is..
Pretty damn hot, right?
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RIGHT.
Date Famous, Rich, HOT Men
Shipping heirs, NBA hot shots, Hollywood types (this includes actors, agents, etc..), NFL quarterbacks, and underwear models are ALL good places to start.
Take a Note From Paris Hilton...
Just don’t do the whole sex tape thing. Because that’s just trashy.
Make a "Sexy" Mix for Your iPod
Because nothing kills a mood more than when you put your iPod on shuffle and Weezer comes on.
Stay Loose, Los Angeles!
…here’s how!
Agent Provocateur Inc
7961 Melrose Ave, Los Angeles, CA 90046
Ditch Victoria’s Secret— her secret is that she’s cheap. If you’re looking for classy, sexed up undergarments then look no further than Agent Provocateur. This is the mothership when it comes to sexy bras and panties. If you can’t find some hot underwear here, then I really don’t know what to say to you.
Ditch Victoria’s Secret— her secret is that she’s cheap. If you’re looking for classy, sexed up undergarments then look no further than Agent Provocateur. This is the mothership when it comes to sexy bras and panties. If you can’t find some hot underwear here, then I really don’t know what to say to you.
Agent Provocateur
Do I have your attention NOW?
Sheila Kelley's S Factor
5225 Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90036
I’ve taken a pole dancing class at Sheila Kelley’s and let me tell you, these people will teach you how to MOVE like no other. And don’t think you’ll need a pole to showcase your moves, they’ll teach you how to toss your hair in a way that will make the guys melt.
I’ve taken a pole dancing class at Sheila Kelley’s and let me tell you, these people will teach you how to MOVE like no other. And don’t think you’ll need a pole to showcase your moves, they’ll teach you how to toss your hair in a way that will make the guys melt.
Sheila Kelley's S Factor
Pretty hot, right? And that’s even before you get to the whole pole dancing part!
Roberto Cavalli
362 N Rodeo Dr, Beverly Hills, CA 90210
When I think of sexy clothes, I immediately think of Cavalli. Animal prints, fire-engine red, and dresses cut up to “there” are all trademark Cavalli. And granted you probably need to have a bank account like Beyonce’s to shop here, there’s no harm in looking around, taking some notes, and then finding some knock-offs. Or, better yet…
When I think of sexy clothes, I immediately think of Cavalli. Animal prints, fire-engine red, and dresses cut up to “there” are all trademark Cavalli. And granted you probably need to have a bank account like Beyonce’s to shop here, there’s no harm in looking around, taking some notes, and then finding some knock-offs. Or, better yet…
H and M
8500 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90048
Go to H&M! The Roberto Cavalli at H&M Collection is in stores now, so if you’re looking for sexy pieces that won’t force you to panhandle then you know what to do.
Go to H&M! The Roberto Cavalli at H&M Collection is in stores now, so if you’re looking for sexy pieces that won’t force you to panhandle then you know what to do.
Megan Fox in Cavalli at the Transformers 2 Premiere
I think this illustrates my point QUITE well.
"In Defense of 'Loose' Women"
Slate.com, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I love you.
Pleasure Chest the
7733 Santa Monica Blvd, West Hollywood, CA 90046
If all you have in your nightstand is old magazines, then it’s time to take a trip to the Pleasure Chest— and you don’t have to worry about the skeeze factor here, it’s probably one of the classier places you can buy sex toys.
If all you have in your nightstand is old magazines, then it’s time to take a trip to the Pleasure Chest— and you don’t have to worry about the skeeze factor here, it’s probably one of the classier places you can buy sex toys.
Mac Cosmetics
8500 Beverly Blvd, Los Angeles, CA 90048
When I think of red lipstick I think of MAC for some reason. Matte red lipstick in Russian Red is a MUST HAVE.
When I think of red lipstick I think of MAC for some reason. Matte red lipstick in Russian Red is a MUST HAVE.
Pink Cheeks Skin Care Salon
14562 Ventura Blvd, Sherman Oaks, CA 91403
This place is one of THE places in LA to get waxed— and since it’s in the Valley (i.e. where all the porn in LA gets made), you have to feel like these gals know what they’re doing. And believe you me, they DO.
This place is one of THE places in LA to get waxed— and since it’s in the Valley (i.e. where all the porn in LA gets made), you have to feel like these gals know what they’re doing. And believe you me, they DO.
More Sexy Los Angeles Guides!
How To Get Your Sexy Back in Los Angeles
More lingerie in Los Angeles? Done.
Does Los Angeles Make You Horny, Baby?
More sexy time in Los Angeles? Done.
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