Find a Girlfriend in Seattle and Get Yourself a Date
by improbable - November 08, 2008
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It's tough being a single guy in Seattle. One by one, all of your friends get partnered off. Eventually you find yourself aimlessly wandering from bar to bar on Saturday nights, hoping against hope that if you buy enough girls drinks one of them will take pity on your. Don't let it happen to you.
In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is king
And in the land of computer nerds, the guy who restricts his live-action role-playing to one night a week is a hot commodity. Seriously, have you seen the kind of losers who can get a girlfriend in Seattle?
So quit whining and get out there. Over 40% of Seattle’s households are single-person households, and at least a couple of those are girls.
Stop with the pizza delivery and go to the grocery store already
Her career keeps her too busy to go to the bars and clubs, but she’s got to go grocery shopping eventually. And that’s when you’ll strike!
Practice smiling and making eye contact before you go out. Neither one comes naturally to Seattlites, so try it with a mirror until you look a little less like a weirdo.
Whole Foods Market
2200 Westlake Ave, Seattle, WA 98121
Meetmarket meets (organic, free-range, grassfed) meatmarket.
Meetmarket meets (organic, free-range, grassfed) meatmarket.
Pcc Natural Markets--Fremont
716 N 34th St, Seattle, WA 98103
Find yourself a nice granola girl.
Find yourself a nice granola girl.
Put your beer goggles on
Are you serious about this or not? If you want to spend your nights next to something more fun than your lifesize Princess Leia figurine (still new in box), then you’re going to have to lower your standards. Don’t feel bad, your new girlfriend will be doing the same thing.
All dreams die sometime.
Cellar Homebrew the
14320 Greenwood Ave N, Seattle, WA 98133
If you’re going to drown your dreams in alcohol, you may as well make it yourself.
If you’re going to drown your dreams in alcohol, you may as well make it yourself.
Redhook Ale Brewery
14300 Ne 145th St Ste 210, Woodinville, WA 98072
Get some brewing tips here. And a lot of beer.
Get some brewing tips here. And a lot of beer.
Get lucky
The mating ritual of the native Seattlite occurs in a gathering place known colloquially as “Belltown”. Though the sorority girl’s natural habitat is the U-district (and occasionally as far west as Fremont), you may occasionally be fortunate enough to hear their mating call around Belltown. “Oh my god, I’m soooo drunk!”
Amber Restaurant & Lounge
2214 1st Ave, Seattle, WA 98121
Seattle’s biggest and best meetmarket. Yes, there are girls here. You have to look for them.
Seattle’s biggest and best meetmarket. Yes, there are girls here. You have to look for them.
Twist
600 Pine St Ste 130, Seattle, WA 98101
Amber’s younger, trendier, no-less-sausagefesty brother. Maybe you should head back to Whole Foods.
Amber’s younger, trendier, no-less-sausagefesty brother. Maybe you should head back to Whole Foods.
Learn to dress
The three drawers worth of polo shirts you have from every single software startup in Seattle are now off limits. You never even worked at some of those companies, why on earth did you run to their booth at that trade show three years ago, just for one of those hideous T-shirts? Relegate them to the trash heap where they belong and get yourself some fine new duds.
Nordstrom
500 Pine St, Seattle, WA 98101
Amazing clothes, amazing prices.
Amazing clothes, amazing prices.
Value Village
1525 11th Ave, Seattle, WA 98122
Take those polo shirts with your company logo on them and drop them off here.
Take those polo shirts with your company logo on them and drop them off here.
The Seven Worst Places to Break Up in Seattle
Sometimes you’ve just got to wipe the slate clean and start over. Don’t do it on top of the Aurora Bridge, though.
Make sure she's not a lesbian
Though Capitol Hill is not quite as gay as San Francisco’s Castro, Seattle is still a warm and welcoming city for people of all lifestyles. If you’re hanging out at the Wild Rose, Seattle’s only women’s bar, just be aware that that wink from the cute blonde across the room was more likely directed at the hot brunette sitting behind you.
Wild Rose Tavern
1021 E Pike St, Seattle, WA 98122
Seattle’s only women’s bar. There are women here who can beat you up. Consider yourself warned.
Seattle’s only women’s bar. There are women here who can beat you up. Consider yourself warned.
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