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Where'd You Get That Folex?: Your Guide To Dirty Dirty Designer Knockoffs In San Francisco
- by elissa
- -
- June 11, 2009
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I think they're tacky. I think they're immoral. But hey, I guess I have a couple of them stashed somewhere in my closet. Even though I avoid anything stamped with a label, sometimes those designer cuts are just so much better looking than anything else you can afford. So for you closet knock-off shoppers out there, here's the lowdown on San Francisco's non-designer scene.
Boutique Harajuku
22 Peace Plaza San Francisco, CA 94115
This place is definitely not cheap, although you can find a pretty convincing knockoff Marc Jacobs bag or two from time to time. Just don’t go right before rent’s due…
And as a bonus, the little shop across the hall has little donut-shaped erasers and owl slippers to drown your sorrows after you realize you can’t afford anything at the boutique.
More Harajuku Research
Check out JCSuperstar’s infamous guide.
How do you know those Gucci shades are real?
a) you keep the tag on and wear it dangling in front of your nose
b) you wear two pairs at the same time
c) you don’t smile while you wear them
d) all of the above
Beware of anything that looks like a wash-off tattoo from a quarter machine
Beware of denim
Especially when it’s denim patchwork, complete with cheetah AND zebra prints.
Beware of odd distractions.
Chances are, someone’s just trying to keep you from noticing that their Gucci emblem is misspelled.
Incredible Wedding Blogs Unearthed
Mickey Mouse fans, and people who like to make fun of Mickey Mouse fans, unite by reading this guide!
How do you know that lining is real?
a) it smells like formaldehyde
b) it rubs off gold onto your fingers
c) it squeaks when you open and close the bag
d) all of the above
Beware of unecessary eyeball action.
It’s obnoxious enough that the Louis Vuitton label will be in everyone’s faces, without the bonus creepy eyeballs.
Too much of a good thing is never a good sign.
I am getting dizzy just looking at this.
Even if some kindly philanthropic type betrothed these shoes upon this child as a gift, the amount of drool they’ll eventually be covered in will devalue them to the realm of fakes, anyway.
Fake Gucci; Real Attitude
Nothing makes me smile more than Gucci prom!! I wonder which one of the lucky ladies got TWO dates!
Duct Tape Prom Gear
Gucci not your flavor? Check out these alterna-prom outfits.
NYS Collection Kiosk
3251 20th Ave, san francisco,
Get your eyewear fakes here. The guilt you feel for buying knockoffs is still less than that you would feel had you purchased and sat upon a $400 pair of real Channels.
Be wary of overalls and/or hot yellow.
Be wary of Louis Vuitton + Cutlass Supreme
More Study Males
These guys don’t need brand names to let you know who they are…
Embroidered flame flowers are a no.
This is the type of thing you might find in the collection of one of those guys who sells bags off of a blanket on the street in SOMA. Look carefully at both sides before you fork over the cash.
Miki
441 Westlake Ave, Daly City, CA 94014
Kinda like Claire’s. This is your big chance to buy an ironic BFF broken heart necklace for you and yours. Oh, and pick up a tacky fake Coach wallet, that might almost be convincing if you weren’t riding the bus with your groceries.
Kinda like Claire’s. This is your big chance to buy an ironic BFF broken heart necklace for you and yours. Oh, and pick up a tacky fake Coach wallet, that might almost be convincing if you weren’t riding the bus with your groceries.
More denim.
Outlandish Stores That Magically Stay Open
Is there an entire denim saddle bag category?
Be wary of butterflies
Oh, Dior…is this a special order for Mariah Carey or something? No no no.
Louis Cake
Suggested Rule: Don’t buy a purse that might get stale.
Chances are, this baby probably can't afford a real Louis.
I’m just gonna throw that one out there.
Oh, there are too many stores in Chinatown to name as viable fake designer purse options. Just remember, if you see a perfect Chanel bag with two circles instead of two C’s, just ask the suspicious lady with the rubber gloves to take it to the back and make a few alterations. No questions asked.
Oh, there are too many stores in Chinatown to name as viable fake designer purse options. Just remember, if you see a perfect Chanel bag with two circles instead of two C’s, just ask the suspicious lady with the rubber gloves to take it to the back and make a few alterations. No questions asked.
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I remember buying a fake Kate Spade bag in high school that looked identical to my friend’s real one. She was livid when we both got compliments, and eventually pointed out that mine was fake. oh high school drama, how silly.
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