How the World Didn't End

Large Hadron Collider

Approximate date of the end of the world: September 10, 2008

Yes, it looks like a giant death machine. And there was a little chance that it would create some black holes in attempting to recreate the big bang, eating the entire world pretty much instantly.

The New Millennium (Almost - Part 1)

Approximate date of the end of the world: January 1, 1000

No, that’s not a typo. Back at the close of the first millennium (Almost. Remember, there was no year 0.), a lot of Christians were pretty convinced that the Second Coming was imminent and would happen as the calendar flipped to 1000.

Heaven's Gate

Approximate date of the end of the world: March 1997

I was 12 at the time, and really this is the first weird “end of the world” event I remember. Comet Hale-Bopp came wandering by our planet, this cult, Heaven’s Gate, decided there was a spaceship on the other side and that meant the earth was going to be restarted or wiped out (something like that). They killed themselves off, and I remember learning about the people who put themselves in purple squares to go visit the spaceship.

The New Millennium (Almost - Part 2)

Approximate date of the end of the world: January 1, 2000

Accidental nuclear strikes, satellites crashing out of the sky, the planets in alignment: there were many ways that the world was supposed to end at the turn of the calendars.

Matthew of the New Testament

Approximate date of end of world: 100 C.E.

I didn’t mean to open the Christianity can right away, but you really can’t deny that when Matthew 16:28 says, “there shall be some standing here, which shall not taste of death, till they see the Son of Man coming in his kingdom,” there are a few little problems. Say, that nearly 2,000 years have passed since then.

The Medieval Era

Approximate date of the end of the world: Annually from about 400 – 1350 C.E.

Pretty much every religious figure and religious scholar (aka monks) in the Medieval years was convinced that it was the end of days. Of course, they lived through a lot of really nasty crap, such as a plague that killed up to 2/3 of the population, so maybe they were comforted by that thought.

Thinking about it, really pretty much every generation is convinced it’s the last one.

Still To Come

Mayan End of Days

Expected date of the end of the world: December 2012

The Mayan calendar hits the end of its 13th cycle in this month (exact date calculations have varied). Many thousands of years ago, the Mayans, crazy math geniuses they were, decided that when the calendar ended, the world seize up and die.