.jpg "A Teacher Takes On New York City")
.jpg "New York's Best College Bar")
.jpg "New York's Best After-Work Bar")
.jpg "The Perfect Jobs for LUSHES")
.jpg "Matt Fried")
.jpg "The Yuppie Cesspools of New York City")
.jpg "Fear, Loathing, and Barhopping in Downtown New York")
.jpg "Apartment Nightmares in New York")
.jpg "Ray Schon State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Dan Tyler State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Susan Terhune State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Ben Parsons State Farm Insurance")
.jpg "Awkward Family Portraits will make you say \"WTF?\"")
.jpg "Love is funny: Awesomely BAD engagement photos")
.jpg "Failbook")
.jpg "Can't Refinance - Mortgage Upside Down? Modify Loan Into Lower Mortgage Payment")
SPONSORED LISTINGS
Everybody Loves A New York Jew
- by matt_fried
- -
- September 18, 2009
(1)
.jpg)
Fall in New York means only one thing: The Jewish World Series. Four weeks out of the year, roughly from mid-September to mid-October, four major Jewish holidays help ring in the new year on the Hebrew calendar: Rosh Hashanah, Yom Kippur, Sukkot, and Shemini Atzeret/Torah. Sure, to the Christian world, these holidays are simple known as "non-Christmas", but to every Jew and semi-Jew in New York, it's an opportunity to take off work, get together with the family, and kvetch in the new year. Just as "it's not Christmas without the tree in Rockefeller Center", well it ain't fall without guilt, coffee, and apples & honey.
Actors' Temple
339 West 47th Street New York, NY 10036
Believe it, or not, even actors need a place to brush up on their Old Testament.
Lincoln Square Synagogue
200 Amsterdam Ave, New York, NY 10023
On of the city’s most popular synagogues for all services. Go feel guilty on Yom Kippur and then grab a bagel at H & H a couple blocks uptown.
On of the city’s most popular synagogues for all services. Go feel guilty on Yom Kippur and then grab a bagel at H & H a couple blocks uptown.
Rosh Hashanah
Happy Jewish New Year! It’s a national day of rest for all Jews until we all have to commit to the national day of guilt that is Yom Kippur. It was believed that on this “day of judgment” that in the books of the living, the wicked, and the intermediate, written by G-d, and the deeds of “The Chosen People” were recorded and categorized. Good news for the Wicked: get your name recorded in the book nine times, and on the tenth occasion you get a free pass. In Judaism, all traditions are honored.
Sarges Deli & Restrnt
548 3rd Ave, New York, NY 10016
Sarges is everything you could ask for in a New York Jewish deli. Sassy staff. Decent prices. And food that would make your grandmother proud. Sarges is famous for its matzoh ball soup and sandwiches. Stock up before Sukkot, I can imagine it’ll be swamped with starving folks from Yom Kippur.
Sarges is everything you could ask for in a New York Jewish deli. Sassy staff. Decent prices. And food that would make your grandmother proud. Sarges is famous for its matzoh ball soup and sandwiches. Stock up before Sukkot, I can imagine it’ll be swamped with starving folks from Yom Kippur.
Yom Kippur
Ten days of chilling, followed by 25 hours of being made feel like a horrible father, mother, son, or daughter. In practical terms, it seems fair that if you’re among “The Wicked”, you get 10 days to come to your senses, followed by one day and an eighth of intense prayer and fasting. Of course, though, do I at least get a t-shirt out of this? OR, does blogging count? I mean, think about it G-d: if I just wake up and write an insanely long blog about how I’m sorry, and I’ll only drink water all day, isn’t that more or less the same idea?
"You never call..."
I now present The Greatest Hits of My Jewish Grandmother; a collection of my Nana’s most famous guilt trips often heard around the holidays
“You never call. Why don’t you call more?”
“What do you mean actor?”
“Wouldn’t you be happier as a lawyer, or a doctor?”
“Columbia? With your grades? Really?”
“I think you’ll like your cousin – he’s a slacker, just like you.”
“Why do you think you look like your father? I think you look much more like me.”
“Eat! Eat!”
“I ought to smack you.”
Jon Stewart
You feel my pain. Look at that punim…
Check the links
Sukkot
Okay, you’ve partied, repented; now go sit outside in a hut for seven days. That’s right, everybody, once you’ve thrown yourself upon the mercy of the Almighty, it’s now your job to show how much you’ll love him. The Sukkot pilgrimage is a seven day event, which follows Yom Kippur, in which Jewish families build huts in open air areas and have meals, host guests, and pray upon the importance of G-d in their lives. Sound a little extreme? Clearly you’ve never made S’mores in a Sukkoth hut.
Yonah Schimmel's Knishes Bakery
137 E Hustn, New York, NY 10001
Pick up a knish and some sweet rolls for the hut, Marvin! Yonah Schimmel’s has been an LES institution for decades, somehow avoiding being plowed under by developers, or out-cooled by ironic Jewish hipsters.
Pick up a knish and some sweet rolls for the hut, Marvin! Yonah Schimmel’s has been an LES institution for decades, somehow avoiding being plowed under by developers, or out-cooled by ironic Jewish hipsters.
Shemini Atzeret/Torah
The final holiday of the period, Shemini Atzeret (or Torah) occurs on the final day of Sukkot. Traditionally, it is regarded as a day of celebration and happiness. Now that you’ve endured an uncomfortable month-long visit from holy tradition, you’re allowed to party once again for one day and then go about your life as you lived it before all this craziness began to happen. See you next year! Hey, you bring the coffee this time, okay?
My Jews of Choice
Anyone who says Jewish guys can’t get down clearly have never listened to a Beastie Boys record. They say that every Jewish boy should have a role model, a real mensch to look up to. Mine were MCA, Ad-Rock, and Mike D. Not only did they break color barriers in the world of hip-hop, but they also proved that even the craziest little nebbish could get ill. Maybe they weren’t a rabbi’s dream come true, but they weren’t doing any harm either. Ring in the new year with “Ill Communication.”
Fat Beats
406 Avenue Of The Americ, New York, NY 10011
What better way to party than with the freshest hip-hop beats in Manhattan? The two most relevant youth culture contributions made by Jews? Tap-dancing and hip-hop. Pick up the new Kanye on your way to way to a Shemini house party.
What better way to party than with the freshest hip-hop beats in Manhattan? The two most relevant youth culture contributions made by Jews? Tap-dancing and hip-hop. Pick up the new Kanye on your way to way to a Shemini house party.
Academy Records & Cd's
12 W 18th St Frnt 1, New York, NY 10011
Fresh beats and kosher meats.
Fresh beats and kosher meats.
Matisyahu talks faith and hip-hop
The rapping, reggae star talks about blending his conservative faith with the art of hip-hop and modern music.
10 Reasons To Rock Your Jew Card
- I get recognized as an oppressed minority.
- Chicks dig Jews.
- A way better sense of humor.
- The only explanation for my semi-decent sense of rhythm.
- Chicks dig Jews.
- Lifelong free subscription to HEEB magazine.
- Discounts at the movies on Christmas Day.
- Guaranteed employment in the entertainment industry
- So many holidays to take work off for.
- Chicks dig Jews.
Walk To Kvetch
Guides We Think You'll Like
- |
- |
- |
- |
- share this
.jpg "Seattle_Cameron")
-
You know, I heard that like smart people, Jews think alike (as if the two were different). Maybe that’s how we came up with the same Guide ;)
.jpg "aliciak")
-
All I know is that half of my private high school was Jewish, and “back to school” time meant a crapload of vacation! Us Catholics didn’t get our fair share of the holiday time though…
.jpg "mswen")
-
The Jewish World Series! Hilar. This was very informative for a gentile like me.
Add Our Widget To Your Site
.jpg)
Discussions