Douchey Meanyheads Say Douchey Meanyhead things

by aliciak
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April 09, 2009
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New York is a tough place to live sometimes, but sometimes people say what I call "douchey meanyhead" things for NO reason. Like, you do nothing wrong and people are mean and it's upsetting. Unfortunately, these people can color the rest of my day and I hate them for you. Any douchey meanyhead stories of your own? You must have some!

Douchey Meanyheads are EVERYWHERE

What prompted the making of this guide? I’ll tell you!
I spent a lovely fall afternoon biking through Prospect Park in Brooklyn, then reading in Prospect Park. I decided to make my way home in time for a football game. Now, the bike/running lanes in Prospect Park technically go in one direction, but there’s no law about going the opposite way. I was going the RIGHT way, mind you. In the distance I see an older man RUNNING in the BIKING lane (these are separate), so I get in the running lane temporarily because there’s no one there anyway, until I pass him.
As I’m passing him, he has the audacity to say, “Get in the bike lane before your hurt someone.” WTF WTF WTF WTF!!!! YOU were in the wrong, buddy. By the time I digested what he said, I was way past him. I thought about cycling back and either saying, “YOU were IN the biking lane, you ^&(I&$##” or just mowing him over and saying, “Ooops, you were totally right!” But I try to be a little zen about these things, so I went on home and watched 20-something men hurt each other on TV in the name of sport. So it goes.

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BTW, I Totally Just Drugged Your Drink

I don’t care if you are kidding or not… You are mean and scary, and basically you just joked about raping me… I was forced to listen to you for like a good 1.27 hours… Were you testing me to see how drunk I was? This is not just a douchebag, this is the same person who gave you tittie twisters when you were like in 5th grade and spied on you from under the bathroom stalls… YUCK!

added by AlexandraF 11/14/2008

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And another...

I’m walking along 23rd Street, and a man walking fast behind me brushes by me and knocks into my arm. He then stares at me with a mean face, as if I was in the WRONG. (Um dude, I couldn’t see you, as you were behind me). I said I was sorry even before I made eye contact with him because that is my robotic response to any kind of bumping-into-someone experience. I figure it should ward off any potential rude comments?
He says something mean, because he thought I said something mean, to which I responded, “Um, I said I’m sorry.” He just kept walking.
I hate people.

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Douchey Meanyheads have waaaaay too much time on their hands

I got the following note on my car in the BART parking lot:

“Learn how to park, you retard. Next time I will purposely open my door full-force into your car. Seriously.”

Did you really, REALLY, take the time to scrounge for paper, pull out a pen, and leave a mean note on my windshield? Don’t you have something to do? GET A LIFE, OR AT LEAST GET LAID.

By the way, I had parked WITHIN THE LINES ON MY SPACE, but a little farther over to accomodate one of those vans with the wheelchair lifts on it. The van must have left before this sweet, good-natured human being had the horrible luck to have to park next to me. Karma is real, you bastard.

added by Karey Ann 10/27/2008

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: by amyj 09/18/2009 Show 1 Reply

Wow! I hate people.

: by ethwiny 11/19/2008 Reply

I’m ADDICTED to Overheard in New York. It frequently makes me LOL!

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About The Author

aliciak

Tribeca

I like to: crochet, eat, read, write, go to museums, watch old movies, cook, bake, observe children, visit the library, travel, cut my own hair, explore New York, mix gin drinks, bike ride, take photographs, keep in touch with people, be crafty, swim in the ocean, make bets, and read blogs and ca...