Rock Springs – the Armpit of America

For Wyoming, Rock Springs is not that small
– 20k people makes it a city in the state with the lowest population in the
nation. If you absolutely have to, here’s what to do with your time if you
happen to get stuck in hell. Hell where?… Rock Springs, Wyoming.

Satan’s Crash Pad

This is my hometown – third, possibly fourth generation on
my Dad’s side, so I’m quite familiar with the rules.

There’s a lot of history here. That history is
roughneck and violent though, so don’t expect a warm welcome from the natives.
After all, this is where the famous train and bank robber Butch Cassidy got his
nickname.

A Brief History of Rock Springs

During the oil & gas boom of the 1970s, Rock Springs was actually featured in a 60 minutes
documentary entitled “Sin City.” The reputation for
guns, drugs and prostitution left an indelible mark on the town, and while some
natives are loathe to discuss the town’s dark history, others seem quite proud
of the fact that they were in a bar when one of the town pimps put a buck knife
through the table to threaten another pimp.

How to Watch your Back in Boom Town

Currently, Rock
Springs is going through another oil and gas boom that
makes the town rough, though not as bad as the late ‘70s was. You need to watch
your back. The following rules may keep you alive. So here’s the top things you need to keep in mind before you go
anywhere:

So What the Hell do I do in Hell?

With those caveats out of the way and if you’re
not totally scared off yet, here’s some places I recommend you go.
First off, where to stay, where to eat and finally where to drink.

The Outlaw Inn Description

This 4-star hotel has a full bar, restaurant,
and high speed internet. The restaurant serves food on paper tablecovers that
outline the number of outlaws that have lived & died in Rock
Springs & Wyoming.
It’s rumored that the owners had mafia connections, though the food goes beyond
ordinary Italian and incorporates tons of different kinds. I’m partial to the
Heuvos Rancheros, but my folks like the veal. The bar at the front is not
exempt from the craziness of Rock
Springs – there’s a drive through liquor store beside
it and is often full of the local cowboys and roughnecks looking for a quick
drink and sometimes a fight.
While there ARE other hotels in Rock Springs, the Outlaw is traditionally the
best. There are other options if the hotels are all full. For example, you
could camp out in a park, but have your gun at the ready. Since I stay with my
folks when I visit, I guess you’re SOL when it comes to choosing a hotel.

Los Cabos

This is the best Mexican restaurant in town,
possibly in all of southwest Wyoming.
Señor Placido is the man. He’s taken a single restaurant on the infamous K Street and
expanded it out to several branch restaurants across the state. There are two
in Rock Springs,
and though the second one located at The
Inn at Rock Springs is much bigger, I have a soft spot in my heart for the
original. The K Street
location is
small and cozy – though the booths take a bit of getting used to. The chips are
warm and just right for saltiness. The salsa is homemade & bloody awesome though
a bit spicy. For an entrée, try the Camarones a la Diabla if you want spicy or
the Pollo a la Crema if you want rich. The food is great and the service is
awesome.

Ted's Supper Club

If you feel a little more spendy and want to pay
a little more for a good steak or seafood, check out Ted’s. The food and
drinks may be a bit over-priced but it’s probably the best place in town to get
a steak. It’s one of the few places that are good for nice dates in Rock Springs, and you’ll
often see “nicely dressed” rednecks going out

Bars

Ahhh, now we’re getting to the good stuff. Bars
really make Rock Springs
what it is. After all, there’s really not much to do in the town except drink,
fight and…well you know. I’m too old to fight much any more, and I’m
practically engaged, so drinking is one of the only pleasures left (and even
that is fading, so before I fall asleep reading my newspaper I’d better tell
you what I know). Now this is where Rock
Springs gets dangerous. I’ve seen many many fights, a
few stabbings and heard shootings out in parking lots. It’s fun! Live on the
edge!

Steve’s Wyoming Club

Steve’s is my favorite bar in Rock Springs. I’ve been going there for
several years and at any given visit I know probably 60% of the people there.
Don’t expect anything fancier than a beer (domestic of course) or a liquor/coke
mix. PBR’s and Budweisers are the norm here, and they’re definitely not ironic.
Walk in through the front door and order a beer at the bar to your right, or go
to the back and play air hockey or grab a table out on the outdoor patio on a
rare wind-free day. The place is still a smoking establishment, so expect some
smelly clothes when you’re done. Steve’s isn’t exactly the most high-class
joint, but the blue-collar atmosphere does give the place a certain charm.

Feel like you’re in a country song about Muskogee yet?

Bomber's Sports Bar

This bar used to be a favorite stomping ground
for me when I was younger – they have karaoke on Fridays and, and as anyone who
knows me can tell you, Frank Sinatra’s got nothing on me after a few Guinnesses
or Whiskeys. Many of my friends still attend karaoke here, and others come for
lunch for the burgers and fries when the weather outside is bad. http://youtube.com/watch?v=U_xSbiGWzuQ
 – When it comes to Karaoke, I’m not as
bad as this guy, but I have fun.

The Park Hotel

A favorite hangout for returning college kids and the
younger crowd, the Park is usually where I go with my friends if I want to
chill out in the area for holidays when visiting my family. The last time I
went home I actually asked my best friend his opinion about asking my
girlfriend for her hand in marriage. Hope that turns out well.

Happen to be stuck in Rock
Springs over St. Patty’s? The large number of Irish
(and wannabe Irish) in the town take up residence in the Park hotel for the
annual drunkfest. Toichfadh ar La…right after this next Guinness. http://www.theonion.com/content/node/35595

Buddha Bob's

Last
but not least, Buddha Bob’s (named for the big Buddha out front) is one of the
few places in town with a kickass jukebox. In a place where mullets &
Foreigner still rule, don’t expect anything more
modern than mid-90s music on the radio stations or in the bars. Oh, and they
have Guinness on tap. Remember, this is a small town. There’s hardly any chance
of getting good beer, and mentioning it may be reason to call your sexuality
into question. Sigh  Yeah, come to
think of it, I’m glad I moved out.