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The Seven Circles of Hipster Hell
By ThePoorestTourist
updated 4 months ago
A guide to Denver’s alt-scene Watering Holes.
The Children of the Night
You’ve seen them: The Hipsters. The guys with bed-head hairdos and tiny skinny jeans borrowed from a little sister. Snug-fitting T-shirts with edgy ironic slogans worn over a long sleeve T and underneath a leather jacket, four sizes too small. And the hipster girls, all beautiful, all dark-eyed and overdressed. Each of them looks like she stepped out of 1960’s fashion magazine, stopping just long enough to get a full sleeve tattoo on one arm before decending into our midst.
We can only guess at how they got so cool. How do they stay so ahead of the music scene (file sharing?), how do they always know where the hot event is going down (MySpace?), how do they stay so skinny (Cocaine)? We will never know the secrets of the fashion-forward elite without observing them in their preferred habitat. This, we can do.
One thing we can know without any doubt is where to find the Hipsters. Depending on the fickle whims of any week they may rotate a bit, but they never stray far from these same seven spots:
#1 Paris
Paris On the Platte
1553 Platte St Ste 102, Denver, CO 80202
For 25 years this dumpy little coffeehouse has stood on Platte Street and has beckoned high school students, runaways, and punk rock misfits to come and bask in dense clouds of clove cigarette smoke. I myself spent many a night in Paris as a teen. Then, when the smoking ban went into effect in Denver bars and restaurants the crowd at Paris started to change. Dodging the new law by some miraculous loophole, Paris became the last place in town where you can have a smoke with your cup of joe. Now days, a crowd of Hipsters can be seen tapping away on laptops and enjoying the super-fast free wifi at tables that still sport brimming ashtrays. But word is the loophole is closing, and Paris too will soon be smoke-free.
For 25 years this dumpy little coffeehouse has stood on Platte Street and has beckoned high school students, runaways, and punk rock misfits to come and bask in dense clouds of clove cigarette smoke. I myself spent many a night in Paris as a teen. Then, when the smoking ban went into effect in Denver bars and restaurants the crowd at Paris started to change. Dodging the new law by some miraculous loophole, Paris became the last place in town where you can have a smoke with your cup of joe. Now days, a crowd of Hipsters can be seen tapping away on laptops and enjoying the super-fast free wifi at tables that still sport brimming ashtrays. But word is the loophole is closing, and Paris too will soon be smoke-free.
#2 The Skylark Lounge
Skylark Lounge
140 S Broadway, Denver, CO 80209
Situated on the hottest stretch of South Broadway the Skylark Lounge is the retro-roost of the alt-country and rockabilly scene. Vintage motorcycles and classic cars often line the curb out front. Inside, a big square bar dominates the center of the Lark, and its checkered floor and signage gives the place the feel of a 1950’s roadhouse. But on Thursday nights, when the DJ is spinning underground Indie tunes, the crowd is pure Hipster. Drink prices are still reasonable here. I drink Makers Mark Whisky on the rocks and I can still get one here with a 5 dollar bill.
Situated on the hottest stretch of South Broadway the Skylark Lounge is the retro-roost of the alt-country and rockabilly scene. Vintage motorcycles and classic cars often line the curb out front. Inside, a big square bar dominates the center of the Lark, and its checkered floor and signage gives the place the feel of a 1950’s roadhouse. But on Thursday nights, when the DJ is spinning underground Indie tunes, the crowd is pure Hipster. Drink prices are still reasonable here. I drink Makers Mark Whisky on the rocks and I can still get one here with a 5 dollar bill.
#3 Larimer Lounge
Larimer Lounge
2721 LARIMER ST DENVER, CO 80205
You know that new band that you just heard about for the first time today? The brand new band that only has one record and you feel like you discovered them. Well sorry, but the hipsters saw them last year (and it was so amazing) at the Larimer Lounge. At 27th and Larimer, this little venue is a bit off the beaten path. It’s a narrow and deep bar that opens up slightly in the back to reveal a small stage. Most patrons agree that it is not the ideal place to see a show. The sound tends too be loud and mushy, and the low stage makes it hard to see anything. But with a keen sense of the next-big-thing and aggressive booking, the Larimer Lounge is always bringing the coolest new bands to Denver.
The Hipster Universe
#4 Bar Bar
Cafe Carioca
2060 Champa St, Denver, CO 80205
The Bar-Bar. This is the Dive to end all Dives. A smallish and very old bar on the corner of 20th and Champa that is actually called the Cafe Carioca, or at least that is what is painted on one of its grimy windows, but the scensters just call it by the name that hangs in neon over the door: BAR BAR. The daytime crowd of hard luck cases, postal workers, and dedicated boozers clears our after dark and rock and roll types and bike messengers take over. It is still a slightly rough place (there is almost always at least one customer missing his front teeth) and the jukebox tends towards Country, but when the hip crowd is looking to slum it, Bar Bar is the spot.
The Bar-Bar. This is the Dive to end all Dives. A smallish and very old bar on the corner of 20th and Champa that is actually called the Cafe Carioca, or at least that is what is painted on one of its grimy windows, but the scensters just call it by the name that hangs in neon over the door: BAR BAR. The daytime crowd of hard luck cases, postal workers, and dedicated boozers clears our after dark and rock and roll types and bike messengers take over. It is still a slightly rough place (there is almost always at least one customer missing his front teeth) and the jukebox tends towards Country, but when the hip crowd is looking to slum it, Bar Bar is the spot.
#5 Rock Bar
Rock Bar
3015 E Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80206
On a run-down block of Colfax stands the All Inn, a shabby old park’n’poke motel. On its ground floor is a perfectly preserved seedy motel lounge that goes by the name of RockBar. Orange carpets, geometric wallpaper and vintage 1970’s furniture all add spice to this gathering spot for the indie music crowd. Once the haunt of streetwalkers and drug pushers, RockBar celebrates the unsavory past by being, to my knowledge, the only bar in Denver that serves MD 20/20 (the favorite quaff of winos and derelicts everywhere) as one of it’s signature specials. The crowd here is young, good-looking, and hard drinking. And hey, if you get lucky you can check into one of the cheap rooms upstairs. They are a bit confused in their drink pricing I’ve noticed. They cater to a down-market crowd with cheap cans of PBR and shot specials but a whisky on the rocks cost me a whopping $7.00.
On a run-down block of Colfax stands the All Inn, a shabby old park’n’poke motel. On its ground floor is a perfectly preserved seedy motel lounge that goes by the name of RockBar. Orange carpets, geometric wallpaper and vintage 1970’s furniture all add spice to this gathering spot for the indie music crowd. Once the haunt of streetwalkers and drug pushers, RockBar celebrates the unsavory past by being, to my knowledge, the only bar in Denver that serves MD 20/20 (the favorite quaff of winos and derelicts everywhere) as one of it’s signature specials. The crowd here is young, good-looking, and hard drinking. And hey, if you get lucky you can check into one of the cheap rooms upstairs. They are a bit confused in their drink pricing I’ve noticed. They cater to a down-market crowd with cheap cans of PBR and shot specials but a whisky on the rocks cost me a whopping $7.00.
#6 Hi-Dive
Hi-Dive
7 S Broadway, Denver, CO 80209
There have been many music clubs at 7 South Broadway over the years and all of them have maintained the dingy character and stripped down charm that brings indie music fans through the doors each night. It can be packed wall-to-wall when a hot national act is playing, and made even more crowded by the chain link fence they divide the room with for all-ages shows. But the real scene is the Danceotron DJ nights when the coolest new tracks are mixed in with everything from bad 70’s disco to 80’s TV themes. Emo kids love irony!
There have been many music clubs at 7 South Broadway over the years and all of them have maintained the dingy character and stripped down charm that brings indie music fans through the doors each night. It can be packed wall-to-wall when a hot national act is playing, and made even more crowded by the chain link fence they divide the room with for all-ages shows. But the real scene is the Danceotron DJ nights when the coolest new tracks are mixed in with everything from bad 70’s disco to 80’s TV themes. Emo kids love irony!
#7 Sputnik
Sputnik
7 S Broadway, Denver, CO 80209
As one friend describes it, “Sputnik is the Epicenter of the Hipster Universe”. From the steel-topped bar, the frequently changing wall art, to the super cool menu (sweet potato fries with a choice of dipping sauces, Vietnamese Sandwiches, Corn Dogs!) the vintage Photo-Booth, and the ever present DJ spinning away in the corner, this is where all the cool kids end up. Located on “the Elbow” (the corner of Ellsworth and Broadway) and right next door to the High Dive, it is consistently a bustling hub of the art, music and fashion worlds. Some nights the action out on the front sidewalk, where the patrons step out to smoke, is more happening than inside. It makes Sputnik a great bar to go and make the scene, even when you can’t afford to go in for a drink. And on Monday nights: They have Bingo. I love the staff at this joint. They are all good-looking and friendly and once they get to know you, they’ll even buy you a drink from time-to-time. Even if you forget to wear your tiny jeans.
As one friend describes it, “Sputnik is the Epicenter of the Hipster Universe”. From the steel-topped bar, the frequently changing wall art, to the super cool menu (sweet potato fries with a choice of dipping sauces, Vietnamese Sandwiches, Corn Dogs!) the vintage Photo-Booth, and the ever present DJ spinning away in the corner, this is where all the cool kids end up. Located on “the Elbow” (the corner of Ellsworth and Broadway) and right next door to the High Dive, it is consistently a bustling hub of the art, music and fashion worlds. Some nights the action out on the front sidewalk, where the patrons step out to smoke, is more happening than inside. It makes Sputnik a great bar to go and make the scene, even when you can’t afford to go in for a drink. And on Monday nights: They have Bingo. I love the staff at this joint. They are all good-looking and friendly and once they get to know you, they’ll even buy you a drink from time-to-time. Even if you forget to wear your tiny jeans.


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Click here to log in.I hope that I met you once when I was hanging out at Paris during that awkward High School time before I got a fake id. Also, you forgot Monkey Mania (if that place still exists).
I’m shocked the Thin Man didn’t make the cut!
ugh, hipsters. Thanks for the tips on what bars to avoid, except for sputnik, their food is too good!
love this guide! you think denver is bad? check out my guide on hipster SF!
i hear you on the hipster hell!!! i know what you mean bc i’ve been there!!!!!
hipster hell indeed.
Sputnik is the best bar in town. The people who work there are very friendly, they have great food, and I’ve made some truly wonderful friends there.
I’m not sure how a grown man can fit into skinny jeans. But it can happen. I saw it with my own eyes yesterday. And it hurt me. Great guide, by the way.