Despite not being a particularly clumsy individual, I manage to get more than my share of injuries in the kitchen. It's a little sad, but it's also pretty funny, so I decided to keep score here. For the last month or so I've been averaging an injury every week.
Hey, I’m not complaining. I like cooking and I find my inability to keep from incurring bodily harm more amusing than anything at this point. That will all end when I lose a finger one day, but until then… Besides, at the pizza place I used to work at we played “stab the knife in the gaps between your own spread fingers as fast as possible” and I haven’t lost any digits yet so it’s a win.
I wanted to make some sort of witty comment involving some hackneyed cliche like the inevitable “if you can’t stand the heat” but it’s Friday night and I feel all right, leigh… that and I’ve worked in kitchens for most of my adult life and I feel your pain.
Kitchen Injury Game - The Rules
In order to know what to put on the list, I had to make a set of rules as to what constitutes kitchen injury. It’s pretty simple; a kitchen injury has occurred if:
1) Blood is drawn 2) There’s a burn that lasts until the next day 3) It really, really hurts
May 28 - Soup
Using my powers of not worrying about heat, I pulled the sealed plastic wrap off the bowl of soup I had stuck in the microwave for two minutes. The bulging plastic seal should have told me that massive amounts of hot steam were trapped inside. But no, I burnt my hand instead.
May 21 - Blender
This isn’t as bad as it sounds. Having never used my new blender before, as my friend turned it on to make some evening margaritas, I was riffling through the kitchen utensils drawer looking for a wooden spoon. Turns out my blender sounds something like a Harley starting up in my kitchen, I jumped and slammed the drawer onto my hand. It hurt, I cursed, and so it’s on the list.
May 17 - Bread
Having not learned my lesson the week previously (see May 9), I decided to not waste time on a cutting board and slice a nice, fresh loaf of bread from the store into my hand. This time, not so lucky, nicked the side of my finger just a bit with the bread knife.
May 9 (Subverted) - Avocado
Decided to pit avocados using the palm of my hand as a base instead of a cutting board. Only the grace of the fates saved me from losing fingers.
Cooking Tip: Pitting Avocados
The easiest way to pit an avocado is to cut around the pit lengthwise, then twist the two halves to separate them. The pit will be lodged in one of the two halves. Lay the avocado on a cutting board and chop down hard with a very sharp knife. It will lodge in the pit, then just twist it to remove the pit from the fruit.
To remove the skin from an avocado, use a regular spoon and just dig between the fruit and the rind, it will come out in one nice chunk.
May 5 - Drying Rack
I wish that I was making this up: As I reached into the drying rack by my sink to put away dishes, I managed to gash the back of my hand on my little kitchen knife. Total fail.
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Click here to log in.Leigh, you are my long-lost twin!!
I think you should not be allowed near the kitchen….even to eat!
Hey, I’m not complaining. I like cooking and I find my inability to keep from incurring bodily harm more amusing than anything at this point. That will all end when I lose a finger one day, but until then… Besides, at the pizza place I used to work at we played “stab the knife in the gaps between your own spread fingers as fast as possible” and I haven’t lost any digits yet so it’s a win.
I wanted to make some sort of witty comment involving some hackneyed cliche like the inevitable “if you can’t stand the heat” but it’s Friday night and I feel all right, leigh… that and I’ve worked in kitchens for most of my adult life and I feel your pain.