Categories: Literature & Arts; Travel & Events

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What Would Dante Do? Denver’s Most Sinful Destinations (Perfect for the DNC)

From the hottest clubbing venues in town to mouthwatering, grease-laden breakfasts, Denver has places to satiate every naughty desire. Here are some of the best spots to visit and the eternal punishment that awaits, according to Dante Alighieri, author of the epic “Inferno.” And so with a mix of excitement and dread:

 

“Abandon every hope, who enter here.”

Lustful

Circle of Hell: Second

Punishment:
“The hellish hurricane, which never rests,
drives on the spirits with its violence:
wheeling and pounding it harasses them.
When they come up against the ruined slope,
then there are cries of wailing and lament,
and there they curse the force of the divine.” (Canto V 31-36)

Translation: Forever battered by vicious storms, the lustful are harshly driven about as they curse their fate.

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Buy your fantasies

Fascinations

4111 E Virginia Ave, Glendale, CO 80246

A one-stop shop for adult toys, clothes and videos, Fascinations can’t be beat. No big surprise what the sin is here – Lust.

Gluttonous

Circle of Hell: Third

Punishment:
“Gross hailstones, water gray with filth, and snow
come streaking down across the shadowed air;
the earth, as it receives that shower, stinks.
Over the souls of those submerged beneath
that mess, is an outlandish, vicious beast,
his three throats barking, doglike: Cerberus.
His eyes are bloodred; greasy, black, his beard;
his belly bulges, and his hands are claws;
his talons tear and flay and rend the shades.” (Canto VI 10-18)

Translation: The gluttonous lay freezing in cold, muddy rain as Cerberus harasses them with his horrid bark and sharp claws.

52/4 - Gluttony

Dig in

Pete's Kitchen

1962 E Colfax Ave, Denver, CO 80206

Open 24 hours daily, Pete’s Kitchen serves up deliciously greasy diner food to the late-night partier and the bleary-eyed next-morning clubber. Simply the place to be after a night on the town.

Violent Against God - the Blasphemers

Circle of Hell: Seventh, Third Ring, First Zone

Punishment:
“Some lay on the ground, flat on their backs;
some huddled in a crouch, and there they sat;
and others moved about incessantly…
Above that plain of sand, distended flakes
of fire showered down; their fall was slow-
as snow descends on alps when no wind blows…
so did the never-ending heat descend;
with this, the sand was kindled just as tinder
on meeting flint will flame—doubling the pain.” (Canto XIV 22-39)

Translation: Falling flakes of fire and scorching sand burn the bare flesh of the blasphemers, who lay scattered on the ground.

TheChurch_12th-Lincoln

The Church

The Church

1160 Lincoln St, Denver, CO 80203

Dante would have cried having seen this. A hopping nightclub now occupies the floor space of this old Gothic-styled cathedral, bringing techno and hip-hop, strong drinks and sexy dancing right up to the altar. The Church has many levels, featuring different musical styles and plenty of room for partying, making it one of the most active and popular clubs in the city.

Fraud - Astrologers

Circle of Hell: Eighth, Fourth Pouch

Punishment:
“…in the valley’s circle I saw souls
advancing, mute and weeping, at the pace
that, in our world, holy processions take.
As I inclined my head still more, I saw
that each, amazingly, appeared contorted
between the chin and where the chest begins;
they had their faces twisted toward their haunches
and found it necessary to walk backward,
because they could not see ahead of them.” (Canto XX 7-15)

Translation: Soothsayers must wander with their heads painfully twisted backwards on their bodies.

Fortune Teller

Find fate in the cards

Astrology Classes

Learn different methods and techniques for using astrology to help understand your life and your place in the world, or get a professional reading from a trained astrologer. Whether you believe in astrology’s veracity or not, Dante didn’t, giving astrologers their own place in his idea of hell.

North Star Consulting Services

Classes take place around the Denver metro area.

Doing Your Chart

8 E 1 St Ave, Denver, CO 80203

Suite 104

Doing Your Chart

 

Clay Animation of the Inferno

This is a bizarre, vaguely macabre rendering of Dante’s tale.

Dante Citations

All quotes have been taken from the verse translation of “The Divine Comedy of Dante Alighieri: Inferno” by Allen Mandelbaum. This excellent book matches the original Latin verse with the English translation, as well as including helpful annotations and illustrative sketches.

Inferno, trans. by Alan Mandelbaum

Buy your own copy on Amazon

Inferno, trans. by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

For another way to access the poem, try the free digital audio version on LibriVox.

Heretics

Circle of Hell: Sixth

Punishment:
“The sepulchers make all the plain uneven,
so did they here on every side…
flames were scattered through the tombs, and these
had kindled all of them to glowing heat;
no artisan could ask for hotter iron.
The lid of every tomb was lifted up,
and from each tomb such sorry cries arose
as could only come from the sad and hurt.” (Canto IX 115-123)

Translation: Each heretic is entombed within a burning hot, open-lidded sepulcher.

Heretics welcome

Heretics welcome

Atheists and Freethinkers of Denver

At the height of heresy, a group that promotes itself as the Atheists and Freethinkers of Denver . Running a variety of informal events for sharing thoughts and ideas, the group advocates its freedom from religious mores.  While not promoting a different set of religious beliefs, as by definition atheists have none, if you’re going to go wrong with religion, might as well go all the way and give it up altogether. Still, if Dante’s hell exists, atheists will be pretty bummed to wake up here.
Meets happen at varying locations around the Denver area.

College of Wicca and Old Lore

Not saying it’s wrong, not saying it’s right, but the pagan ways taught at the College of Wicca and Old Lore are definitely not in keeping with Dante’s religious thought. Offering a full range of classes leading up to the point of dedication and initiation, students of this college would definitely be deemed heretics.
Classes occur at varying locations around the metro Denver area.

Denver's Sinful Locations

Violent Against Self - the Squanderers

Circle: Seventh, Second Ring

Punishment:
“And there upon the left were two who, scratched
and naked, fled so violently that
they tore away each forest bough as they passed…
Behind these two, black bitches filled the wood,
and they were just as eager and as swift
as greyhounds that have been let off their leash.
They set their teeth in him where he had crouched;
and, piece by piece, those dogs dismembered him
and carried off his miserable limbs.” (Canto XIII 115-129)

Translation: Squanderers spend eternity chased naked through the woods by packs of wild dogs.

Burning Money

Squandering: Just burning money

Black Hawk Casinos

101 Main St, Black Hawk, CO 80422

Gambling has given the town of Black Hawk its place on the map, and in this list. Rows of casinos line the streets, where spectacular mountain views are the backdrop to nightly gaming fun. Bets can reach up to five dollars at any of the many institutions, which also serve up alcohol, live entertainment and lodgings.

Aspen

Home to movie stars and the social elite, Aspen is characterized by ski slopes and day spas, golf courses and indulgent restaurants. Come prepared to max out your credit cards at the town’s swanky clothing boutiques and fabulous art galleries. Stay overnight in one of The Little Nell’s luxurious ski-in ski-out suites and get a taste of the Far East at Matsuhisa Aspen.

Little Nell Hotel

675 E Durant Ave, Aspen, CO 81611

Matsuhisa

303 E Main St, Aspen, CO 81611

Sin in the Mountains

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