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The Guide to the Best Inventions for the Single Man
A keen insight into the PG needs of the single male brain.
Number 1 Best Invention: The Spork
What greater invention could a single guy need? It can be used for anything. Number 3 Best Invention: Ramen Noodles
Cheap, tasty, easy to prepare, what more could a guy want? It can get a little boring (even for a man) eating Ramen Noodles all the time, so, they are versatile enough to add some ingredients to experiment with to try and add some variety to your life. WARNING!! There is only one rule to experimenting with Ramen Noodles that you MUST NOT break: DO NOT use peanut butter for experimentation. Number 5 Best Invention: The Can Opener
In order to use your spork and achieve the fine dining experience of a can of corn, one must have easy access to opening the can. You do not want a man using a butcher knife to open a can, it is not a pretty sight. Number 7 Best Invention: The Koozy and The Beer Helmet
Nothing better to keep your drink cool when watching tv, taking a bathroom break, heating up a can of peas, or going to get more sporks. Number 9 Best Invention: The Reclining Chair
Now the man doesn’t need to get up for anything (except the bathroom). |
Number 2 Best Invention: Fast Food Restaurants
The next best invention for the single man is the fast food restaurant. No self-respecting man would ever spend the $1.50 to get his own spork, so he gathers his spork supplies from the fast food restaurants. It ends up you can get cheap food there too. Number 4 Best Invention: Canned Food
Sometimes, a man wants something else for dinner, besides Ramen, and cracks open a can of corn, or peas, or beans, or chilli, the possibilities are endless. It can be eaten cold or warmed, depending on the man’s aversion level to work of preparing and canned food can also be used to accentuate Ramen. WARNING!! Even though you can put an open can into the refrigerator to have later, you CANNOT warm up the can in the microwave. Number 6 Best Invention: The Bacillus Mesentericus Inhibitor of Propionate
A preservative in cheese that makes it where you can eat cold pizza that has been sitting out all night and not get sick. Number 8 Best Invention: The Plasma TV
For the men who are really serious about watching tv, playing video games and some other stuff we won’t talk about (there is a reason he is a single man). Number 10 Best Invention: The Internet
This is where the single man’s real personality shines. We all know how this is really used and why it should be number 1, but we are shooting for a PG rating. |
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Copyright 2008 - Local Matters Inc.
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Click here to log in.Or Beer for crissake?
Or a pick up truck?
What about sports?
OMG! The spork!
Why yes, at the bottom of the guide, I suggested that porn is the best invention as well, but this is a PG-13 rated show. Sorry to disappoint. Thanks for the info.
Chelsea is a man?
Oh and porn is the best inventin.
Having a secret code means that men would actually think. I’m not sure I believe that.
Hey, if the shoe fits…
That would be one weird girl…
It does apply to a lot of girls too, so I don’t think it is a secret.
OMG! It is funny and so right on the money! I think it is revealing some of our secret code though…
This is so brilliant and I am SUCH A MAN.
I used a knife to open a can this weekend. I still haven’t unpacked my can opener and needed the can open IMMEDIATELY (I am a slave to my hangovers…)
The beer helmet must be high on the list…