I HEART Nachos

Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles Dodgers)

Macho Nachos: Dodger Stadium

BEST. NACHOS. EVER!!!!

Like a work of art, these things…

Macho Nachos cannot be beat. If you can find better baseball stadium nachos, El Guapo will buy you a beer and give you a high five.

Rating: Hall of Fame

Washington DC (some bar)

YES WE CAN…eat a three pound plate of Nachos.

Inspired by Obama Victory, El Guapo downs ginormous plate of CHANGE nachos.

This is a change El Guapo can believe in.

Si Se Puede!! Si Se Puede!!

Rating: Major League

Turner Field (Atlanta Braves)

I don’t know anything about their nachos, but I do know Dale’s Pale Ale served in a can is pretty damn awesome.

Rating: Major League

Nacho factor: minus 2; Awesomeness factor: 7+

Total combined rating: Unicorn frrp!

Wrigley Field (Chicago Cubs)

Nacho Vomit: Wrigley Field

They call Wrigley Field the largest bar in the world — and it’s true. The whole stadium, is just a bunch of corn-fed drunktards.

They don’t even sell nachos here. They just sell lots of beer. That and souvenir vomit mugs. BAAARF!!!

Rating: Cactus League

Pastrami Not = Nachos???

New York has awesome food, but one thing they don’t have is good Mexican food.

I asked for Nachos at Carnegie Deli. They told me not to insult them and they gave me this instead. It was pretty good. But it wasn’t nachos.

On a scale of one to nacho with one being the lowest and nacho being the highest, I give this pastrami sandwich a 4.

Fenway Park (Boston Red Sox)

Fenway Nachos: Fenway Park

Like everything in Boston, these things SUCK.

El Guapo was not impressed.

Rating: Farm League

Dodger Stadium (Los Angeles Dodgers)

Everything’s better in LA. The Macho Nachos come with complimentary chocolate cake.

Camden Yard (Baltimore Orioles)

Balti-MORE Nachos please!!!

They don’t hide the ball at Camden. There’s actually a food stand here called “Nachos Fan”.

When I saw this, I thought to myself, “well shit, I’m a nachos fan. This must be the place for me.”

Suggestive food signs make it real easy when you are drunk. It’s like the geniuses at Camden Yards knew EXACTLY what I was thinking…scary.

Rating: All-Star

Angels Stadium (Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim)

The Los Angeles Nachos of Anaheim: Angels Stadium

The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim have a stupid name. Their nachos have a stupider name.

This is what they actually call their nachos. It’s idiotic.

However, to be fair, bonus points are awarded for having two cheese sauce dipping stations in the plastic nacho consumption receptacle.

Rating: Minor Leagues

Yankee Stadium (New York Yankees)

No Nachos at Yankee Stadium. Just middle aged dudes in golf shirts and mustaches.

The House that GUAPO built

Mini El Guapo: All the sexiness of regular El Guapo in 1/12 the size.

Fenway Nachos : Exhibit A

Herein lies the problem. Too many chips and a woefully inadequate amount of Cheesey sauce.

What the hell am I supposed to do now?

(the answer of course was to carefully dig my tongue into the cheese sauce receptacle; get some sauce of tongue and then place chip on said tongue. (makes for a very clunky nacho user experience).