Your Guide to All Things BACHELORETTE
It is wedding season and it's ALSO Bachelorette season, this year Jillian Harris from last season's The Bachelor is our girl, she's fantastic and the perfect ideal of what guys should vy for. She's the epitomy of "bachelorette." So whether you watch the show, or you're a Bride-to-be, here's your guide to ALL THINGS BACHELORETTE; party, show, how to be the most eligible, etc. etc. Cheers!
Jillian Harris the Bachelorette
Kiptyn
That name? Yeah, sexy.
Traits that make a great Bachelorette:
- Good sense of humor
- Confidence
- A rockin’ body
- Spontaneity
- Great conversationalist
- Intelligence
- Independance
- Spunk
"THAT'S MY FUTURE WIFE!"
Glad to know she’s a classy broad. This, is where the sense of humor and not taking yourself too seriously comes into play. Men like a girl that get let lose every now and then.
If she's the crazy bride:
Cuff her to a blow up doll. and OBVSIOULY, she’ll need ot wear the “Suck for Buck” t-shirt, covered in candy and each stranger on the street gives a buck- for a suck. You get the idea.
For the Bachelorette on a scavenger hunt:
They don't ALL end bad....remember Trista and Ryan?
They just had baby number two!
Destination Bachelorette Vacation!!!!!
So you and your girlfriends are planning a bachelorette party vacation, that’s not a bad idea-let lose before you surrender your freedom. Now, where to go?
- Las Vegas, for maximum debauchery
- South Beach Miami, FL-known as a party town and the sunshine (careful not to get a sunburn!) makes the perfect mini-vacay.
- New York City- one weekend in NYC! This is the kind of weekend bachelorette party that’s perfect for foodies, wino’s and culture lovers.
YAY! VEGAS! I'M A BACHELORETTE!
I'm sorry- this is a NO.
NO, no. no.
What happens AFTER the party:
YOU DON'T HAVE A CHOICE:
If you’re going out, you’re wearing a veil. PERIOD.
So, you're a sexy Bachelorette..... why not take a pole dancing class?!
Trust me…this is way harder than you’d think.
Trust me…this is way harder than you’d think.
Gift Ideas:
- Lingerie, of course.
- Edible body paint
- Spa Treatments
- Sex toys
- A Pink Flask (yep, I said it.)
- Personalized martini glasses
Who is Jillian and why is she SO FABULOUS?
An instant fan favorite on the last edition of The Bachelor, Jillian, 29, immediately charmed America with her irrepressible humor and emotional honesty. She currently resides in Vancouver, British Columbia and works as a restaurant interior designer, successfully supervising projects in both Canada and the U.S. Vivacious and energetic, She always lives life to the fullest, but she is ready to settle down with her soulmate and is confident that she can find the love of her life on The Bachelorette.Jillian, who has enjoyed being part of a tight knit family, is an only child and is excited at the thought of starting her own family.
When you're a fabulous bachelorette you get guys like this:
Here are my personal picks….
Jake
HOT. Comercial Pilot…can someone say free travel?
Sasha
You’ve got to be a bad ass if your name is Sasha.
When you're a rockin' bachelorette you get guys with cool jobs:
Jillian has a pick from guys with these occupations….pretty fun:
- Wine Maker from Carmel Valley
- Breakdance instructor
- Country music singer
- Restrauntuer
- Soccer coach from England
- Olympic Cyclist
- Photographer
SO you're planning your party?
It isn't a party without penis cupcakes
Because nothing tastes better than eating naked people made out of buttercream.
Because nothing tastes better than eating naked people made out of buttercream.
The name says it all. Forget cupcakes why not a a whole CAKE.
The name says it all. Forget cupcakes why not a a whole CAKE.
When planning your Bachelorette party decide what type of bride she is:
IS SHE…..
- The Virgin Bride
- The Budget Bride
- The Lush Bride
- The Crazy Bride
- The Young Bride
- The High Society Bride
- The Fancy Bride
Remember DeAnna Pappas?
Turns out the relationship with Jesse from the last season of The Bachelorette didn’t work out….yes, that means she’s single! Go get her men!
The PERFECT Bachelorette Party Shot:
The Blow Job
Ingredients:
3/4 oz Kahlua
3/4 oz Bailey’s irish cream
Whipped cream
Layer in order in shot glass. Drink without using your hands. Expect to make a few of these during a bachelorette party.
So you're headed to Vegas??
Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino invites you to enjoy the ultimate blend of both entertainment and sophistication. It's the world of exotic luxury: 11 acres of beachside bliss, 135,000 square feet of casino, award-winning dining, luxurious spa relaxation, pillow-topped beds, a shark-themed aquarium and t...
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Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino invites you to enjoy the ultimate blend of both entertainment and sophistication. It's the world of exotic luxury: 11 acres of beachside bliss, 135,000 square feet of casino, award-winning dining, luxurious spa relaxation, pillow-topped beds, a shark-themed aquarium and the ultimate in Vegas nightlife. The recent $30 million poolside renovation showcases 2,700 tons of sparkling sand beaches lined with plush foliage, waterfalls, fountains and a wave pool. And with a lazy flowing river, upscale, "European-style" bathing at Moorea Beach club and private cabanas, the most sought-after poolside paradise in Vegas is at the Beach at Mandalay Bay.Just footsteps from the crashing waves is the only waterfront gambling in the city: a glass-fronted, three-story beachfront casino. And inside, Mandalay Bay offers 135,000 square feet of gaming action. The casino was designed to make waves along the Strip with 120 gaming tables and 2,000 slot machines as well as race and sports wagering.Mandalay Bay boasts some of Vegas' famous hot spots, including the dancers of Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce and the best view of the strip at Mix Lounge. Add edge-of-your-seat, championship boxing matches and on-your-feet musical headliners, and Mandalay's events are on the pulse of every entertainment option.Mandalay Bay features imaginative cuisine for every palate: French delicacies, propelling wine angels, Hong Kong classics, even a frozen ice bar. From bold architecture and dazzling views to innovative dining and signature cocktails, Mandalay Bay's world-renowned kitchens are sure to cater to all your senses.Mandalay Bay is also home to the Shoppes at Mandalay Place - a shopping experience filled with 38 shops and restaurants. Or, get face-to-face with some fascinating creatures at North America's only predator-based aquarium at Shark Reef Aquarium. And at the end of the day, the elegance and luxury of Mandalay Bay's newly remodeled rooms and suites awaits.
*** Guests must be 21 or older to check in. Maximum stay is 14 nights - Mandalay Bay will not honor a booking longer than 14 nights. ***
Features
spa services, fitness center, pool, meeting facilities, handicapped rooms facilities, internet access, business center, room service, free parking, restaurants, conference facilities
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Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino invites you to enjoy the ultimate blend of both entertainment and sophistication. It's the world of exotic luxury: 11 acres of beachside bliss, 135,000 square feet of casino, award-winning dining, luxurious spa relaxation, pillow-topped beds, a shark-themed aquarium and the ultimate in Vegas nightlife. The recent $30 million poolside renovation showcases 2,700 tons of sparkling sand beaches lined with plush foliage, waterfalls, fountains and a wave pool. And with a lazy flowing river, upscale, "European-style" bathing at Moorea Beach club and private cabanas, the most sought-after poolside paradise in Vegas is at the Beach at Mandalay Bay.Just footsteps from the crashing waves is the only waterfront gambling in the city: a glass-fronted, three-story beachfront casino. And inside, Mandalay Bay offers 135,000 square feet of gaming action. The casino was designed to make waves along the Strip with 120 gaming tables and 2,000 slot machines as well as race and sports wagering.Mandalay Bay boasts some of Vegas' famous hot spots, including the dancers of Ivan Kane's Forty Deuce and the best view of the strip at Mix Lounge. Add edge-of-your-seat, championship boxing matches and on-your-feet musical headliners, and Mandalay's events are on the pulse of every entertainment option.Mandalay Bay features imaginative cuisine for every palate: French delicacies, propelling wine angels, Hong Kong classics, even a frozen ice bar. From bold architecture and dazzling views to innovative dining and signature cocktails, Mandalay Bay's world-renowned kitchens are sure to cater to all your senses.Mandalay Bay is also home to the Shoppes at Mandalay Place - a shopping experience filled with 38 shops and restaurants. Or, get face-to-face with some fascinating creatures at North America's only predator-based aquarium at Shark Reef Aquarium. And at the end of the day, the elegance and luxury of Mandalay Bay's newly remodeled rooms and suites awaits. *** Guests must be 21 or older to check in. Maximum stay is 14 nights - Mandalay Bay will not honor a booking longer than 14 nights. ***
No one ACTUALLY wants to see Thunder Down Under, come on.
No one ACTUALLY wants to see Thunder Down Under, come on.
Where to drink and dance:
just try not to HAVE a Tryst…cause that would really ruin the wedding.
just try not to HAVE a Tryst…cause that would really ruin the wedding.
Every Bachelorette wants one of these:
Screaming Orgasm
Ingredients:
1 oz Vodka
1 1/2 oz Bailey’s irish cream
1/2 oz Kahlua
Mixing instructions:
Pour first vodka, then Bailey’s, then Kahlua into a cocktail glass over crushed ice. Stir.
For the RELAXED Bachelorette:
- Visit a wine bar
- Go to the Spa
- Get your makeup done
- Lay on the beach
- See a show-concert, play, dinner show, burlesque, etc.
- Have a slumber party with your girlfriends.
Every Bachelorette needs one of these!
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About The Author
Manhattan, New York
Writer. Coast Hopper. Perpetual Dreamer and Achiever. Student of life and Manhattan adventuress...
And just in case you're wondering, gangsta rap made me do it.
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