I'm neither good nor good at it...
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  • Neighborhood
  • Big Mama's House, Los Angeles
  • Where I'm From
  • Fabrique en Belgique
  • Occupation
  • Miring in abject poverty
  • Website

About Me

Name: juan sheem

 

Birthday: 6/1/1980

 

Gender: Male

 

Interests: Like Roberto Duran I say, "no mas." And like Duk Koo Kim I say, "ughhhh" and die in the ring because my stubbornness and pride as a Korean won't allow me to see that I am up against an opponent too strong, too fast and most importantly... TOO SEXAYYYY!

 

Expertise: Pleasing women... by leaving them alone. Touching women... and having restraining orders filed. Loving women... and then waking up from my dreams.

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A Night Out in Los Angeles' K-town

One of the great things about Los Angeles is its myriad of ethnic enclaves. Outside of the motherland, LA houses the largest population of Koreans on the globe and I make sure to take advantage of this. If you're adventurous, you've probably tried venturing into Koreatown, but I bet your token Korean friends gave you the "foreigners tour". Well, I'm here to give you the inside scoop on LA's Koreatown. We Koreans are all members of a Confucian society that highly regard mutual respect, int...

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Cheap Eats on LA's Eastside: Highland Park, Eagle Rock, Pasadena

Sometimes you tell yourself, "I'm a special person, and as such, I deserve a special meal fit for someone of my talents and caliber! Let's go celebrate by eating *insert appropriate cuisine*" On the other hand, I'm jaded and world weary, broken down and battered by life's cruel shots. When normal people think of eating out, they're confronted with issues like "Chinese or Italian" and "take out or dine in". Unfortunately for me, my crippling level of poverty requires me to focus on one fo...

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D'ya like degs? *pause* Ohhh, dogs... Yeah, I like dogs. Los Angeles Edition

When you really think about it the vast majority of the dogs in America live better lives than 90% of the developing world's human residents. Americans love their dogs and Angelenos - as with many things - tend to take it to the next level. This guide details some of the established (and definitely more unconventional ways) to treat your dog to the best of LA.

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Electric Daisy Carnival: Los Angeles

Held on June 28th, from 4PM to 4AM, The Electric Daisy Carnival is a massive event that showcases electronic music's hottest artists for one night. Come join your humble author at the party!

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Fast Times at Los Angeles Chicken Joints: Because Cows are Sorta Cute but Chickens are Just Ugly.

Black guy ordering food: " I would like to have..." White waiter: (interrupting) "THE CHICKEN!" Black guy: (stunned silence) "... How... how did you know that I was gonna get some chicken??" Ethnic profiles and stereotypes aside, it's nothing to be ashamed about. Chicken is a staple in just about every culture's culinary options and the large ethnic population here in Los Angeles provides the perfect opportunity to sample their avian wares, along with the more commonplace American s...

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Finding Hot, Juicy Red Meat in Los Angeles: The Steaks Ain't Bad Here Either

Unlike most men, I am not that big on steak. This is not to say that I'm a health nut by any means. In this vein, my heavy drinking and resulting doughy physique do very little to dispel this belief in my friends and family. However, a passing flirtation with vegetarianism as well as an inherent proclivity towards white meat has always kept me away from the steak houses. Still, like an errant altar boy waxing nostalgic over weekly religious pageantry, a few times a year I get the urge to ...

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Groin Grabbing Groceries in Los Angeles

If that title didn't get your attention, then we are all lost. LOST!

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Izakaya in Los Angeles: Classy Japanese Dining!

Japanese style pubs known as izakaya have become extremely popular in LA in the past few years. Much like chicken wings and fried appetizers most often served at American bars, izakayas tend to base their menus around certain types of alcohol. They are also usually much more relaxed than other types of Japanese restaurants, and it's nice to know that you can kick your feet up, get a little rowdy and satisfy your beer munchies with delicious Japanese food.

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Just a Little Bit Off the Top: Los Angeles' Most Dynamic Hair Styles and Where to Get Them

I had an acerbic and witty introduction prepared for all of you but the Guidespot gods have deigned upon me to erase it all in a flash of cybernetic fury and/or buggy code. You can all figure it out for yourself what this guide details.

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Los Angeles' Best Bakeries: The Seedy Underbelly of the Pastry Bidness

Now that the whole low-carb frenzy has faded somewhat, Angelenos are once again partaking in bread and pastries. While many are delving deeply into the baked goods scene again nowhere is this more evident than the cupcake craze that has enveloped LA these past few years. As much as I try to espouse the newest fads - I used to own every color of those stupid Hypercolor T-shirts - I think I'm the only one here that thinks that $3.25 for a cupcake is ridiculous. Nowadays, people are fronting ...

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Los Angeles' Offbeat Destinations

Sometimes I get tired with the scene in Los Angeles. LA is well renowned for its glitz and glamor but after a while, things become stale and I try and seek different types of experiences off the beaten path. From turtle races to Thai Elvis impersonators, here are some of the wacky places that LA has to offer.

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Los Angeles, Show Me Love Up in D' Club!

To be honest with you, my friends, I am not really very interested in clubbing. Somehow, the idea of paying good money to wait in line for the better part of an hour, and then pay exorbitant prices on drinks inside doesn't appeal to me. Also, my historically low success rate with the club going females in LA only adds to my general reticence to go clubbing. But every once in a while, I will get out there to truly take in all of the crazy people in this city... just goes to show that nothi...

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Los Angeles Sporting Teams and Events: When Dodging Bullets Isn't Aerobic Enough

Despite our flagrant lack of an NFL team, Los Angeles is a haven for sporting events and activities. Ranging from basketball to hockey, baseball to volleyball, Angelenos are blessed with a wide variety of teams for which to root. And also, as in my case, to virulently dislike.

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Los Angeles Sushi Bars: Double Entendres and Sexual Wordplay Unwelcome

People think they know a lot about sushi, especially people in LA. People here are wrong. I make this bold statement with little fear of retribution because I am the one that makes your sushi. Lots of times for giggles I will affect a thick Asian accent while working behind the bar. The entertainment is only further heightened when I hear stupid white boys trying to impress their dates with arcane (and almost always incorrect) sushi trivia. Then I will chortle uncontrollably and dismiss ...

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The Seven Deadly Sins in Los Angeles: Greed

Although gluttony and certainly lust are way up there in my quest for "favorite deadly sin", I think I might have to give the top spot to greed. LA's a big city and there's lots of mooks to be taken and money to be made. Here are a few places that I've seen greed rear its head and a few people that make my avarice pale in comparison.

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The Seven Deadly Sins in Los Angeles: Lust

Like any sprawling metropolitan city, Los Angeles offers its denizens plenty of ways to get their rocks off. From strip clubs to pickup joints, and from mega-raves to the Playboy Mansion here are just a few of the many sites and services that LA has to offer to our prurient interests.

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The Seven Deadly Sins in Los Angeles: Wrath

In continuation of my guides on the seven deadly sins is Wrath. Los Angeles is a melting pot of many different ethnic and socioeconomic groups and with that much intermingling, there's bound to be some angry ass people. If you're one of those people that are just naturally angry (speed metal freak or those whiny kids that always harbor a lot of angst towards their parents) then this might just be the guide for you.

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Titilating Music Stores in Los Angeles: Topless DJ's Wanted

Like just about everyone who lives in LA, I have strong opinions on music. However, unlike most Angelenos that I've encountered I try not to be a dick about it. Seriously, I figure sooner or later that all of the scantily clad women featured prominently in my guides are going to bring in the readership. And with that I'm totally going to break the curse of this Y chromosome. That or alienate all of the women on Guidespot. Still, my gift is my curse... this curse for you.

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Trash and Treasure: Los Angeles Bargain Shopping!

If you've read any of my guides by now, you probably know that I try to drink deeply from the fountain of life's experiences. Good food, copious amounts of liquor, shopping sprees: these are the things I live for... unfortunately for me, my abject state of poverty prevents me from enjoying these things on a regular basis. Some of my other guides have focused on finding inexpensive food and drink throughout the LA area. I figured why not apply my entrepreneurial spirit to shopping in general?

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Uncommon Ethnic Foods in Los Angeles: Because Ethnocentrism is so 1990's

Although Korean people are known for being notoriously ethnocentric when it comes to their dining options, my parents always made it a point for me to experience many different cultures and their food. When you're tired of Mexican or Italian, even sushi, it's always nice to know that you can drive out to just about any ethnic enclave in a 30 mile radius and enjoy some delicious grub.

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Visitors Coming in to Town? Fun Places to Take Them in Los Angeles

One of the great things about having lots of friends in different places is that you get to visit them, usually stay at their place for free and have a guide that will show you all of the insider spots in their city. I've been around the world ai-yai-yai, and from Singapore to Melbourne, I've had great experiences employing my network of foreign friends to get the locals perspective of their cities. Unfortunately, there is a corollary to this benefit. Reciprocity dictates that you return th...

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"What Part of Los Angeles You From, Mr. Nice Guy?" *pregnant pause* "Right by the Beach!"

OK, so maybe you haven't seen that excellent stoner epic, Half Baked. Or maybe you think I'm being a little too fast and loose appropriating dialog from the film. Whatever... Still, I'm sure most will agree that Los Angeles' multitude of beaches are some of the finest in the nation. Here are some of my favorite beaches and things to do while you're there.

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When you just wanna get trashed in Los Angeles: Dive Bars

When the situation calls for ludicrous amounts of alcohol at a reasonable price (define reasonable, you say?) this is the way to get completely blitzed in LA... with style. I'm ready for my closeup Mr. Deville.