Tips for becoming a "Hot or Not" Stallion (Seattle Edition)

Dress Smooth

Look sharp. This smooth criminal is only 18, but you wouldn’t know it from his crisp threads. He looks like he could easily be a seasoned gumshoe while raising the question “What else is he hiding in that coat?”

This mystery man is deep into World of Warcraft and he even has the term “Blood Elf Warlock” featured on his hot list.

By clicking here you can further understand the full scope of his steez,

Manscape

Sure he’s a great catch with his interests rooted in philosophy, “dreaming”, and “bondage” but would he really be maintaining a rating of 7.6 without that streamlined brow hair?

Be creative with it like George has. Notice how he’s changed it up with a different look over each eye?

If you consider this to be a close up, check out the other photo on his profile

Mess with a military man

There are a shit ton of military cats on Hot or Not from the Northwest, due to the Fort Lewis naval base being out here, but this guy is a little different. He’s into old fashion things and he’s honest. That’s what you want to do also; set yourself apart.

I found him by typing “porn” into the key word search, but he’s into lots of other things that also attract the ladies. Things such as “legos”, “boobs”, and “jack-in-the-box”. Take a lesson from this 40 year old clydesdale by simply taking the time to pop in the perfect key words and you could be reeling in the dames too.

He states the following in his bio :
“I’m married but don’t let that stop you, who knows we might hit it off try me "

Silk drawls and romance

“Honey, where have you been?! You will be home on curfew as long as you live under my roof!”

Can you really blame her when this is her counselor? He’s pushing that Bill Clinton vibe tough with his sax and silky drawls.

You can practically hear the David Sanborn pouring from his profile

Romance the ladies and, if you do it right, they’ll actually be able to smell the scented candles through their computer monitors.

He's crafty

I’m pretty sure that this guy made this sword himself. His photo says, “I’m crafty ladies” while his bio states that he’s “a diver” (?)

Be Adventuresome

This 27 year old opted to use the word “Adventuresome” in his keywords as opposed to adventurous, which is actually a pretty “adventuresome” move in it’s own right. His period garb makes quite a few statements. It says, “I’m a patriot”, “I’m a warrior”, and “I’m into role play as long as it pertains to the realm of historical reinactments”

His goal in life is to serve the lord with all that he is and it’s paying off because he is rocking a rating of 9.5 right now. Don’t believe me? check

Confuse and/or Scare them

His image is so powerful yet, it’s really not in focus. That, my friends, is because it was brilliantly done.

All you have to do is take one look and you already know the key words that are going to be listed on his page :
“Camping”, “Volleyball”, & “Boardgames”

Bring the Fantasy

Phil Collins may have made an album called “No Jacket Required” but this 24 yr old Lord Of The Rings fan knows that, to be a real Hot or not stallion, no shirt is required either. Let the women know that you’re not afraid to serenade them in a digital landscape that’s both celestial and aquatic. Watch out girls! You might get electrified.. this thing is plugged in.

don’t get too close to his fantasy

Break out the Guns

I hope these things are registered.

Brains & Brawn?!

Tube socks? Check. Unitard for wrastlin’ ? Check.

This catch’s photo shows that he has both athleticism & electronic expertise.

Don’t be afraid to show the goods and let them know that they aren’t just watching you.

Eye of the Tiger

Be fierce but confident.

I’m pretty sure that I caught this 46 yr old tiger casually slipping one of those fake $100 bills behind a head rest on a bus. You know.. the ones that you unfold with excitement only to find out that they are actually nothing but religious material explaining why you didn’t need the money in the first place.

He loves tigers, as his shirt would imply, and is also into “the bible”, “peanut butter”, and “brushing hair”.

Meeeeeeooowwww!

contact him for style advice

Accessorize

Not sure about all of your features? Mount your skull with accessories. He has 3 photos on his profile and it’s near impossible to get a complete view of him in any of them. This guy is also pulling a 9.5 right now and it’s very possible that all of those votes are coming from people that like his headwear.

Remember, the clothes make the man.

Weapons Skills and Felatio

This guy currently has a solid rating of 7.5 which I first attributed to his brandishing of this blade and his demonstration of his ability to slay orcs at a moments notice. That is until I realized that his tongue appears to be forked… or is that his lip?

Either way, the real find here is that this guy is not one dimensional as evidenced by the baby tiger photo displayed behind him.

profile

Be Adaptable

Even at 59, this senior is still willing to be flexible. It’s important to have a quality profile photo and to be confident but, it’s also important that you aren’t overly opposed to change and that you have a well written bio.

In his , he shows that he has a healthy enough ego but also let’s you know that what you see isn’t all that you may get: “I’m single, attractive, overweight at the moment but will be losing it,”

This is a great start and optimistic. The fact that he likes “yard sales”, "Reno"and “animal cops” (I hope that wasn’t supposed to be 2 words) is just icing on the cake.