There are two reasons why my friends and I keep coming back to the Palms restaurant. The first is that they have a very detailed customer appreciation program. My buddy, who’s a member of said incentive program, insists on attaining the $10,000 level so that he can get a caricature of himself put up on the wall. The second reason we dine there is that one of the waiters is totally into me and subsequently, we get attentive service, the choicest cuts of meat and a nice “friends and family discount” every time we go. So far, my anal virginity is still intact, but one day I have a dark premonition that Peter’s going to want a return on his already significant investment… just as I foresee a change in dining venues.