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The Yuppie Cesspools of New York City
- by matt_fried
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- December 11, 2008
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Yuppies have killed Manhattan. That's right, I said it. For the last decade - in an obscene volume - more and more young urban professionals seemed to have invaded this city like rats invade a McDonald's. They've come from all around - North Jersey, The Main Line, Connecticut, Long Island, New England - to New York, looking to make big money, and live some ridiculous lifetsyle on par with whatever The Real World is hocking each year as "young, hip, and stupid". In light of the market crash however, it seems as if the good times have ended. Now everybody is out of work and living off of whatever they haven't spent on rent or booze. Is this once dominate species now endangered? As 2009 looms ahead of us, the era of the New York yuppie may very well be on its last legs.
Yuppism: A Brief History
The yuppie first came into national consciousness in the 1980s. In the wake of Reaganomics and the spur of late baby boomers, the young urban professional came into existence. This meant that suddenly young people between 24 and 27 were scoring high-level jobs, partying like they were still in college, and conducting themselves as the true tools of the universe that they are. The yuppie has come to embody money, status, and cultural bankruptcy. In other words, boring people. Their lack of taste and lack of irony tend to be the greatest buzzkill anyone could experience.
Red Sky Inc
47 E 29th St, New York, NY 10016
Bon Jovi. Madonna. Even Eddie Murphy’s novelty single “Party All The Time” gets a lot of play here. Thank god for VH1 – now everybody knows the lyrics.
Bon Jovi. Madonna. Even Eddie Murphy’s novelty single “Party All The Time” gets a lot of play here. Thank god for VH1 – now everybody knows the lyrics.
Essex Restaurant
120 Essex St, New York, NY 10002
Mom and Dad aren’t home. Let’s raid the liquor cabinet. Blast some loud techno music and party like its senior prom weekend all over again.
Mom and Dad aren’t home. Let’s raid the liquor cabinet. Blast some loud techno music and party like its senior prom weekend all over again.
American Psycho
Released in 1991, American Psycho is Bret Easton Ellis’s thriller and satire on yuppism in the 1980s. If you’re wondering where humor can be found in graphic depictions of murder and sex, also notice that both are inflicted by the same character who will also lecture you about the cultural significance of Whitney Houston. Ellis has often said that in order to portray the shallowness of the culture, he made his protagonist – Patrick Bateman – into a serial killer with no remorse. Also, he wanted an excuse to dig out his old Huey Lewis tapes for research.
American Psycho Trailer
The trailer of the 2000 film adaptation. Want a cold-hearted psycho path with a smart tie? Get Christian Bale.
Tap A Keg New York Inc
2731 Broadway, New York, NY 10025
Where there’s a keg, there’s a bunch of 27 year old frat boys. Alpha Tau! Alpha Tau!
Where there’s a keg, there’s a bunch of 27 year old frat boys. Alpha Tau! Alpha Tau!
Signs You May Be A Yuppie
- You work in finance, law, or real estate.
- You watch MTV and live by it, unironically, at 27 years old.
- Dane Cook is the funniest man alive to you.
- Partying in Cabo with your boys is the only option for vacation.
- Maxim is your Bible.
- You own a Blackberry.
- You own an iPhone.
- You own a Blackberry and an iPhone.
- Blu-Ray? There’s no other option!
- Dave Matthews brilliant.
Political cause, or pizza?
Photo by Chris Shott.
The Lower East Side Slackivists
Not the best counter-cultural answer to fighting the rise of the yuppie. This protest group claims to have the interests of the people of downtown Manhattan, but will also gladly take pizza.
Check The Links
The Yuppiverse
Valhalla
815 9th Avenue New York, NY 10019
Valhalla is famous for its microbrew selection that attracts the stingiest of palettes. You know, not everybody can afford an IPA from the Ozarks.
Eyes Wide Shut
While not a direct critique on yuppie culture, there’s certainly enough in Eyes Wide Shut to get some attention. Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman are a bored married couple living on the UES whose sex life has hit a standstill. Of course, Tom himself doesn’t mind trolling the streets for hookers, either. Sex is the predominant theme in the film, a meditation on what happens when you have money, power, and a lot of time to kill.
Uptown Lounge
1576 3rd Avenue New York, NY 10128
The Upper East Side haven for anyone who is just too tired to get into a cab and make their way down to Murray Hill.
Yuppie Hall of Fame
Jerry Rubin
The former compatriot of Abbie Hoffman and champion of left activism jumped the shark in the ’70s and by the ’80s helped pioneered the yuppie movement. Rubin moved from protesting against the White House to supporting its economy after his huge success on Wall Street. Still weird to think that one of the members of the Chicago 7 went on to drive a Porsche.
Alex P. Keaton
Leave to Michael J. Fox to make Repulicanism look cute. Alex P. Keaton wasn’t just your average Reagan lover, but he was also the national icon for the yuppie movement. A young high school-aged kid who was slick, popular, and thought tax cuts were awesome.
Rafaello Follieri
Rafaello Follieri’s own fall from grace was an eerie precursor to Black Monday’s market crash. Follieri was everything that had ruled New York since the beginning of the decade: money, power, and a celebrity girlfriend. Of course, he was also embezzling millions of non-profit dollars for his personal use. When he got busted in June, it has seemed signal an end of reckless spending of people with too much cash.
Brooks Brothers
666 5th Ave, New York, NY 10103
They must be crying at Brooks Brothers. Since the market went belly up, who’s going to wear a suit? Unless you want to just look fancy for your roommates.
They must be crying at Brooks Brothers. Since the market went belly up, who’s going to wear a suit? Unless you want to just look fancy for your roommates.
Yuppie Hunter
I remember first moving to New York and immediately becoming dissatisfied with the taste of yuppie in my mouth. I realize that I had no room to really complain: here I was living in the city for barely six months and I was already choosing sides in the culture war. But, even after almost three years, I’m still left underwhelmed by these sharky Crackberry zombies. Maybe it’s because of the obvious reasons: yuppies are the most boring people on the planet. Not only did they never get over high school, but they seem to insist that the rest of the world has to conform to their perspective. I guess so they won’t feel as if the party ever ended. But in the wake of the market crash and the reappearance of graffiti on the streets, I wonder about what’s next for all of us, even the yuppie. These are creatures that live and die by the scene, and the scene seems to have left them without a penny to their name. So, while I may still roll my eyes at every wannabe Gordon Gecko, I think I get it now. It isn’t wealth that makes a yuppie feel powerful; it’s fear of extinction.
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Phew! I don’t have any of the Yuppie signs…
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