Your Guide to Boston's Coeds

Best Dressed

The ladies of Boston University

Boston University is one of the most cosmpolitan schools in the city - mainly due to the abundance of wealthy students, but also because of the impressive number of students who attend from outside the US.  And you know what that means: lots of Prada, Dolce & Gabbana, and Michael Kors. 

Am I serious?  Yes, I am.  While I trudged to class in jeans and sensible walking shoes, my peers were wearing dress pants and teetering in sky-high heels.  If high-fashion models are your thing, watching BU girls work the blocks of Commonwealth Avenue as if they’re on a runway for a fall fashion show will take you to heaven.  The trouble is, many of them will expect the same of you.  So you’d better be a metrosexual (and a rich one at that) if you expect to land one.

Most Popular

The ladies of Boston College

Take the cutest, smartest, and most well-bred girls you know.  Throw in that one who can drink you under the table and that star soccer player in high school.  And top it all off with a bit of a social butterfly, and you’ve got your BC girl. 

She’s most likely from a Catholic family, is smart (but not intimidatingly so), super-pretty (in a very girl-next-door kind of way), and loads and loads of fun.  This is the girl you’d probably want to end up marrying; the one who all your buddies will ask, “Hey, do you have any single friends?”  The one caveat: you, too, must go to Boston College.  BC students are so passionate and spirited about their school (and even more so as alumni) that anyone else typically won’t measure up.

The Brainiac

The ladies of MIT

Here’s the thing.  You’re not going to understand what their major is, or what language their coursebooks are in, or why they go into hiding after getting an 85% on a test.  But if you date a brilliant MIT girl, you’ll never have to worry about them.  These ladies are so smart, they will not depend on you for a thing.  And why should they?  They can fix their own computer.  They can probably figure out how to turn themselves into a key if they lock themselves out of their car. 

All you need to be able to do is show them a good time when the rigors of mid-terms and finals are over (prepare to party!), appreciate and nurture their self-proclaimed geekiness, and be independent enough to give them their time and space to study when they need to. 

Most Talented

The ladies (lady?) of Berklee College of Music

When I was at BU, my Berklee (guy) friends would call me constantly and ask my friends and I to come over to party.  With good reason: there are like 4 women in the entire school.  (Yes!  I exaggerate.  But females make up under 30% of the student body.)  So if you defy the odds and end up dating one, a) prepare to endure the wrath of the male student body, and b) take lots of pictures and document the entire thing.  Because these girls are so talented, chances are they’re going to be famous someday.  And you’ll have proof that “I knew her when…”

Berklee students are singers, musicians, and composers.  She’ll probably hate all the music you think is so great, but you’ll melt like a groupie when you see her perform, and at the very least will learn about some really great obscure bands in the process. 

Most Likely to Succeed

The ladies of Harvard University

This one is pretty obvious.  It’s Harvard, after all.  And a Harvard degree pretty much guarantees that grads will have their pick of whatever job they want.  And good jobs mean good money.  And so forth. 

But let’s hit the brakes for a moment.  Even if you’re not thinking marriage and family and early retirement, think of this: you are the company you keep.  And your stock will instantly rise by dating a Harvard girl – with both sexes.  Your buddies will admire your ability to appear intelligent and more pulled-together than you really are, and you’ll become irresistable to the ladies – because if you’re good enough for the high standards of a Harvard girl, you must be a catch!

Just a warning: a Harvard girl knows her value.  So don’t play around here.  She’ll dump you in a heartbeat if you act like a jerk.  

Most Outgoing

The ladies of Emerson College

Emerson College is full of students who love to communicate.  (It’s a communications arts school, after all.)  And its female population is no exception: these ladies are gearing up for a career in TV, radio, stage, film…in other words, they aren’t shy.  The Emerson girl is fun, confident, witty, and super-focused on her career - a career which happens to be ultra-competitve.  She’s got connections to make and walls to climb, so don’t expect her to cater to your every whim. 

The bottom line here, guys, is that you’ve got to be secure with yourself if you date an Emerson girl.  Because if you take her to a party, she’ll probably be off working the room like a fund-raising politician while you stand in the corner with your beer.

Class Flirt

The ladies of Simmons College

Ah, the lure of an all-girls college: there are no distractions to take you away from your studies; there’s no pressure to look like a knockout for your 8 a.m. stats class.  The ladies at Simmons can focus purely on forging lifelong female friendships and on bettering themselves academically without the likes of you interfering with either one.

But while Simmons girls revel in their all-girls campus life, when they’re ready for some male interaction, they’re really ready.   So prepare to feel like a piece of meat when they set their sights on you.  Have you ever dreamt of being the Most Handsome Man on the Planet?  The funniest guy in town?  With a Simmons girl, you are!  And while the threat of other guys is nonexistent when they go back to their dorm, don’t get too cocky.  As is demonstrated to them day in and day out, Simmons girls are fully aware that they don’t need a guy in their life to be fufilled.

Most Likely to Argue with you about Social Issues

The ladies of Wellesley College

Did you see what Hil said?  Yep - that quote summarizes the Wellesley student perfectly: a super-smart girl with an incredible confidence in herself and her opinions.  (I’m sorry…should I have used woman?  Womyn?  Ah, shoot…)

If you’re the least bit intimidated by an intellect, and an outspoken one at that, don’t date a Wellesley girl.  (Darn it.  Grrrl?  Is that better??)  If you have no patience for feminism, it’s best if you stay out of Wellesley, period.  But if you’re looking to be mentally stimulated, enjoy heated political debate, need to be with someone who is independent, and like a good challenge, go for it.  If she’ll have you. 

Huh? I haven't convinced you to go to school in Boston?

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