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SPONSORED LISTINGS
Your Favorite Late Night Drunk Food
- by elguapo
- 8 contributors
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- June 21, 2009
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You've been out drinking all night, the bars have closed and It's approaching 4 AM. You're not quite ready to go home. Obviously, it is time for drunk food. But what do you do when you are in a new city and you don't know where the best drunk food is? This happened to El Guapo recently in NYC. In the land of late night food opportunity, sadly, I ended up settling for a mediocre turkey sandwich at some overpriced 24 hour cafe. El Guapo doesn't want the same thing to happen to you. That is why I am devoting the next month of my life to researching the best best drunk food places around the country. But I can't do this all by myself. I need research assistants. Please add your city and favorite late night drunk food spot to the list. Together we can change the world for the better -- one drunk at a time. Let the great experiment begin!! Gracias, El Guapo, Head Researcher The Drunk Food Research Institute Chicago, IL
Washington, DC
Fuddruckers: The burger joint with the stupid name.
The burgers here hit the spot after a hard night of boozing. Burgers range from the $4.35 for the 1/3-pound Original Fuddy Duddy to $8.35 for a one-pound Mother Fuddruckin Heart Attack Burger with smokehouse bacon, cheddar, and chipotle barbecue sauce.
If you are poor like El Guapo, you may want to skip the $1.99 order of fries and instead head over to the burger-dressing station or as I like to call it, the “complimentary salad bar,” where you can whip together a delicous salad consisting of lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, jalepenos and your choice from an assortment of dressings.
Atlanta
Dooley’s Den
No luck finding that special someone at the club tonight? El Guapo recommends you stop wasting your time at the bars and go straight to the source. Pick up on drunk college girls at this late night hot spot conveniently located between the Longstreet and Means dormitories on the Emory University campus.
El Guapo recommends the Stacks and Tracks (two eggs, bacon, pancakes) or the Midnight Train to Georgia (chicken salad with melted swiss).
San Francisco
El Farolito in the Mission. It’s open til 4 AM on the weekends and has the best burritos in San Francisco.
El Guapo recommends the carne asada super burrito. If you’re feeling extra ballsy, go with the chorizo.
Orange County
Denny’s
Whenever you get retarded drunk in Orange County, there is one place you will inevitably end up, and this place is Denny’s.
The rules of Denny’s are as follows:
(1) At least one person in the group must attempt to steal the carafe off the table.
(2) It is acceptable to eat the leftover toast off another customer’s plate.
(3) If you have no money, your friends must pay for your meal. However, they are obligated to order you the worst thing on the menu: the super bird sandwich.
I'm John McCain and I endorse the Super Bird
John McCain seen here eating the Super Bird Sandwich at Denny’s after exhausting all campaigns funds and allowing a drunken Palin to order for him.
Chicago
Chicago - Los Tres Panchos
El Guapo recommends the Super Burrito. It’s as big as my arm and twice as delicious.
White Palace, Chicago
This is one of those places I always end up. The food isn’t even very good. It’s all about the crowd, and the ultra-creepy Chicago history mural on the walls with Al Capone playing poker with Oprah.
TIP: Cabs don’t stop here after 2am.
added by Elissa 10/31/2008
Nude Sushi, Berkeley CA
OK, so you don’t get to eat sushi off this girl – but it’s still cool, I promise!
Because duuude! Nude Sushi is open ’til 3am Mon-Sat. Free delivery. Yeah, believe it.
And the sushi is decent (as far as my stoned, drunken, 3am ass can tell).
added by Karey Ann 11/04/2008
Taco and Burrito Express
AKA Crispy Burrito Place.
Awesome. Steak burrito is less than $5. Plus there are cool murals on the wall of donkeys eating burritos. Win-Win!!
Pedone's Pizza - Hermosa Beach, CA
Nothing better after a frat-tastic night on the pier. Follow up with a ride in Mateau’s bike cab.
added by Elissa 11/12/2008
CLEARLY, pizza is a popular choice.
I’ve also been known to be a vacuum cleaner and clean up any of the following:
Chips and salsa
Granola Bars
ANY AND ALL FAST FOOD, particualry Jack and the Box- JALAPENO POPPERS, HELLO!!!
and boxes, and boxes of CEREAL.
added by Chelsea 11/12/2008
Fuddrucker's "Complimentary Salad Bar"
Says Dan Dobin, Fuddrucker’s salad bar enthusiast, “they have honey mustard and ranch available for a reason, dammit.”
nom nom nom. Gimme Pizza. Drunk. nom nom nom.
Las Vegas
El Guapo’s advice: go wherever the Hoff is and order whatever he is eating.
El Guapo: What is better, the steak and eggs or the chicken fried steak?
Waiter: Between you and me, the chicken fried steak ain’t real steak.
El Guapo: That sounds fine. Just make it smothered and covered.
Los Angeles
Pink’s — the quintesstial late night hot dog joint in Hollywood. You will stand in a 30 minute line no matter what time you go.
El Guapo recommends the Huell Howser Dog: Two dogs, chili, cheese, onions, one bun.
Pink's
LA health codes are pretty lax. El Guapo’s Huell Howser Dog had a toe in it and this place still got a respectable B rating.
Garbage Plate
Wikipedia says it better than I ever could:
“A garbage plate is a combination of one selection of cheeseburger, hamburger, red hots, white hots, Italian sausage, chicken tender, fish (Haddock), fried ham, grilled cheese, or eggs; and two sides of either home fries, French fries, baked beans, or macaroni salad. On top of that are the options of mustard and onions, ketchup, and hot sauce, a greasy sauce with spices and ground beef. It’s served with rolls or Italian toast on the side”
It may look like too much, but it’s the perfect amount of nondescript greasy goodness to chase away a drunken tummy.
added by JayFerris 10/31/2008
San Loco
NYC – Lower East Side – Stanton Street – San Loco!
added by laurmingo 11/04/2008
Paul's Burgers - New York
This pic is not enlarged – this is what an actual Paul’s burger looks like. Open 24 hours and an East Village staple for years, Paul’s makes some the best, and artery clogging, food you’ve ever tried. Forget sobering up, this thing will put you in a food coma.
added by Matt Fried 11/07/2008
What's Up Dog, San Francisco
I know. I’ve seen the Food Network show about what’s actually in hotdogs. It’s just that good.
added by Elissa 11/12/2008
My friend's favorite drunk foods (includes easy recipes!)
Other than the s’mores, this list frankly terrifies me, but thought I’d send it along anyway.
added by Andrea D 11/21/2008
All things Chinese
I don’t know why MSG hits the spot the way it does, but nothing makes me happier than a trip to Chinatown when I am buzzed and hungry.
added by Andrea D 11/21/2008
Loco Moco
Loco Moco is a Hawaiian dish that consists of whte rice topped with a hamburger patty (usually seasoned like crazy), which is topped with an over-easy egg, which is then smothered in gravy. There are no words for how awesome this artery-clogging dish is.
added by Andrea D 11/21/2008
Philly Cheesesteak
Philly Cheesesteaks are my absolute favorite late night drunk food. The best places to go are Pat’s and Geno’s and for real authentic flavor, order it with cheese-whiz.
added by Susan 06/21/2009
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.jpg "aliciak")
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Is that slice of pizza that big or is it just the angle? Either way, it makes me giggle!
.jpg "Karey Ann")
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Deal.
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Another great guide, mi amor. Your San Francisco peeps are true friends – El Farolito rocks. If only nearby Mr. Pickles would stay open late-night! That would be the only thing that could maybe beat it . . .
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