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You Know You're Drunk When.....
- by chelsea
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- January 09, 2009
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Everyone has their tipping point, or "sipping point." The moment when you know you have had ONE drink, or maybe TWO drinks too many. How do you know you're drunk??
You pee on your friends shoe, while peeing in a bush, in your friends lawn.
You flash your boyfriend/husbands friends your coot and say, "TOTAAALLLY BARE!!"
You think the table is your stage and YOU are Beyonce at the Grammys
You're willing to break and enter into a liquor store to "get more PATRRROOON!!!"
You wake up the next day with someone named Mamound's (?) cell phone number dialed in your phone.
You give everyone around you a nickname. "Yo! Jdizzzzzzllllleeee!"
You're willing to forgo someones BUSTED grill for a good make-out session
You start taking pictures and instead of saying CHEESE you say in unison, "Myspaaaaccce!"
You openly admit owning every 98 Degrees album.
You attempt stealing large important objects during business hours i.e. pianos, planters, valet signs, kayaks.
You become your own personal pimp, pimping your BEST GIRL-you.
You tell the Ethiopian cab driver, "I was black in another life. Bro."
A friendly game of wrestling turns into, "I'm gonna f**k up your mother brah!"
You start high fiveing people with a "WOO!"
You cry in a public bathroom.
You're drinking Corona's at home but are out of limes, so go to the bar next door and ask for, "just a wedge or two."
Your alter ego "Angelina Jolie in Original Sin" takes over your bedroom
# You repeatedly tell everyone your timeline of how long you've known everyone, "We've been beshttt friends sincssshhh 2nd grade!!"
You kick off your heels in the parking lot/club/wedding/public place
You think a Nutrigrain bar will suffice as "bread" to, "soak up the liquuuuorrrr."
You think you have Olympic athleticism and wanna compete in a race, to the vending machine.
Your acquaintances are your "new best friend!" and you, "Wanna tell 'em a seecreeeeettt..."
At some point in the evening you resort to crawling instead of walking.
You kiss your friends
You break out the jump splits!
Not quit jump splits yet…..? Just wait.
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Loved it! Great minds think alike… http://www.saveonbrew.com/blog-article/top-10-s…
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Wow, by the end of this guide I felt that weird feeling of remorse/amusement that I feel every morning after the level of drunkenness you’re describing here. I need some spicy egg breakfast and a shower. Thanks.
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HILARIOUS and spot-on!! “You attempt stealing large important objects…” And boys in wife beaters chugging Patron (right from the bottle) simply reaffirm my aversion to nightclubs.
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