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Back off Super Woman!
- by baunilhete
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- May 19, 2009
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Some girls never seem to get spinach stuck in their teeth, speak at work presentations with a gigantic coffee stain on their shirts or put the empty juice carton back in the fridge. We are made to believe we have to be perfect at everything and it's exhausting. I don't want to wake up and find out I became one of the following cliches:
“I love my job, I love my job, I love my job.”
The Career Crusader
Being hard working and ambitious are qualities we all should strive to, yet a lot of girls still have trouble embracing that idea. Focusing on a career (instead of “just a job”) teaches you to stand up for yourself, be independent, resourceful, assertive and most importantly, allows you to turn your dream of owning a designer bag into a delicious (and stylish) reality.
Some girls take it to the next level by confusing being driven with being obsessed and being assertive with being a – pardon my French – bitch. We’ve all seen them, they boast about their extra hours and criticize all their coworkers, always talking reallyreallyfastneverstoppingforair.
The Immaculate Fashionista
It’s hard to believe on Hangover Sunday Mornings that a few hours before I was feeling sexy. The only part of my hair that isn’t sticking up in a gravity-defying angle is plastered to some part of my (pale and slightly green) face, my nail polish is a bit chipped, my left eye can’t open quite as much as the right one and… is that a wine stain on the dress I was wearing?!
I sincerely doubt Victoria Beckham would ever look like this, she probably wakes up fully made up, wearing some fabulous Balenciaga mini dress sent especially from Paris. Actually, I’m starting to believe she doesn’t sleep at all, the chance of wrinkling her Chanel nightie being too high to risk. Try as I might, I just can’t imagine her doing ordinary things such as eating, sleeping or laying on the couch (in a very classy way, not balancing a tray of muffins on her stomach like moi) or blinking. I accept that she breathes but only because scientific evidence was given.
Wonder Woman
Madonna is The Official Overachiever: she has toned muscles, dances like a queen, is currently sleeping with a guy half her age, is a mother, millionaire, fashion icon and legendary control-freak. I’m sure she alphabetizes her records, books, color-codes her closet and kids and divides atoms in her spare time WHILE doing yoga, so as not to lose her toned arms.
The woman is a robot.
The Girlfriend
I have two words: Sienna Miller. Her career was taking off and her status as an “it” fashion celebrity being carved thanks to a whirlwind romance with a (back then) charming and sexy famous actor she met on set. She made smug statements on love left and right, singing “on the sunny side of the street” and skipping.
Then one horrible morning, she finds out her fiancé was sleeping with the nanny, the critics don’t like her movies and… well, there are so many skinny party girls with cute outfits, Vogue can hardly focus on just one.
Yes, life has a very sarcastic sense of humor.
Good thing her heartache didn’t alter her fashion sense: she was duly reinstated as a “trend setter” on the cover of Vogue, the cheating ex-fiancé got prematurely bald and the critics…
Come on, two out of three isn’t bad.
At least there’s Family Doctor Barbie.
The Live Barbie
When the show “Girls Next Door” came out I couldn’t believe my eyes. I know people say this but in my case it’s not just an expression, I called friends to confirm the show wasn’t a hallucination caused by too much coffee. After incredulity came denial then came outrage.
Listen, I’m half Brazilian; where being on the cover of Playboy is an achievement many respected actresses and singers aspire to. It’s also a place that teaches you to not be shocked at seeing random naked body parts be it on television or the beach (although topless is forbidden, those bikinis hide very little) and not to be judgmental about sexual orientation and liberation.
So trust me when I tell you, what aggravates me isn’t that they use their looks to get ahead, it’s how happy they are to play the dumb-bombshell-with-severe-daddy-issues part.
These plastic girls are as bad as those extremist hairy-fringey-skirt-bra-burners feminists who don’t understand you can have a brain AND look good. So I may not look as perfect in a bikini (or S&M photo shoot) as these girls, but I least I use my head for other activities than “letting my hair, like, grow”.
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.jpg "baunilhete")
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No kidding! Shortly before I came to China I had a meeting with my boss to renegotiate my salary. I was doing well, until I realized there was a MASSIVE stain on my white blouse. Oh the horror.
.jpg "Elijay")
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I HATE those girls! Probably because I am SO not one of them. I always spill on myself, I usually get black pepper stuck in my teeth, and I’m definitely not one for office politics.
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