The Dumbest Trends Ever

Venetian Blinds Style White Glasses

First created in 1941, these glasses were intended to protect the eyes from the sun’s glare with tiny blinds build over the top of the lenses, casting a shadow on the eyes.

Made popular by Kayne West in his video for “Stronger,” these glasses, while far from fashionable, are popping up all over the place. His version has thick lines across the entire surface of the glasses. I have to wonder how anyone sees out of these things.

I guess I know I’m getting older when “cool” doesn’t make sense anymore.

Slap Bracelets

A dumb Invention, but I still want one again….. Even with the risk of cutting my own wrist.

Heeled Tennis Shoes

First, I really wanted to find the heeled WORK BOOT, like the ones that J.LO was donning when she thought she was a singer…….remember those? Then, I decided smacking a heel on a Converse is pretty hideous. Popular for about five minutes and when I see people STILL wearing them I want to cry.

Ugg boots and miniskirts

Not only does this trend totally defeat the purpose of both items of clothing (Uggs are for when it’s cold out, miniskirts are for when it’s hot out) but it just. looks. bad.

Ponchos

A Top or a Blanket?
Or, more accurately, a HOT MESS.
Why were ponchos EVER popular…???

Aviator glasses

I don’t understand hipster chic, in general. At some point in our decade, it became cool to look as if Bill Cosby’s sweater collection had thrown up on you. But to be walking around, wearing these stupid, dated-looking glasses and still not be a math genius, or know how to fix an air conditioner, blows my mind.

Boy, what size are them jeans?

Boys wearing girls jeans. Uh, two words. SICK and WRONG. I never understood it. Didn’t that mess with your manhood or whatever? Just a little?

The Faux Hawk

The Mohawk for wimps.

Crocs

Worst. Fashion Trend. Ever. I’m sorry, but I just can’t find the appeal in these shoes. Perhaps they’re so comfortable it’s like sticking your foot into a marshmallow. I don’t see that though. I see a plastic and/or rubber sweat trap where smelly germs live. Not even the awesome green color of these would make me want to buy them.

Leggings

I don’t think I will ever understand leggings. I’ve tried them on before and it just didn’t work. Maybe it’s my body, or maybe they’re just stupid.

The Return of the 80's

I know fashion trends are meant to come back every 30 or so years, but the 80’s? C’mon now. I will be more than happen to see the disappearing of neon and shoulder pads in the coming season.

Jean Shorts

These aren’t so much a trend as they are like a mooching, abrasive relative that refuses to stay out of your life for good.

Disclaimer: As impossibly lame as these are on men, women can totally pull it off if the length of the shorts stays below the 2" threshold.

Men wearing eyeliner(?)

Man + Eyeliner = Eeewww

The Richie Tenenbaum Headband

I’m not sure if this trend has extended beyond the five boroughs, but in New York City, approximately 4 out of 10 guys under the age of 25 think it’s cool to sport an athletic headband with a moth-eaten Salvation army blazer and jeans on a Saturday night. Fellas…FELLAS. This isn’t a Wes Sanderson flick and it ain’t an audition scene from “Stayin’ Alive”; leave the headbands at home!

Ripped Jeans

I don’t get this one…to buy a pair of jeans with holes.

Baggy Jeans

How can that be comfortable? I guess I’m just getting old and missing out. This one has been around for over 10 years. When will it go out of style?