The worst dressed celebrities of 2008

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One of my resolutions for the year 2008 was to stop being so addicted to celebrity gossip. Obviously, I failed that resolution about 3 days into the year by logging back onto Perez Hilton. Since I - and I'm sure many of you out there - are doing nothing to rid our computers of the celeb tabloids we read so much, why don't we make something productive out of it? Like, for instance, a Community Guide? And since I know all of us who read celebrity gossip secretly like it when celebs crash and burn - rehab stories, unplanned pregnancies, arrests, DUIs, and fashion horrors - what could be easier than having us pool our collective knowledge together and come up with a definitive list of, for instance, the worst dressed celebrities of 2008? My resolution for the year 2009 though, seriously, is to actually stop being so addicted to this shit. Seriously.

Jared "Guyliner" Leto

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Okay there are so many things wrong with the way this guy dresses, and an inability to see how ridiculous he looks is probably one of the biggest roots of the problem. I hate hate hate guys in eyeliner. Yes, fashion ought to be a free for all, and people should express themselves in whatever manner they see fit, but really, I don’t even like this much eyeliner on a woman. Also, the emo look is so dead since 1998. Please, greasy bangs and fingerless gloves, go away. PS: silver Crocs? Seriously?

Victoria "I am trying so hard" Beckham

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Can I just say that I hate hate hate this idea of the “outfit”? This woman is so matchy matchy it drives me insane. You do not need to color coordinate everything, from you bag to your shoes to your hair to your earrings. That went out in the 4th grade. She seems like a nice lady, and she’s very much improved since her days as the over-tanned woman with the weird hair extensions, but I know I’m not alone in missing the original Posh Spice. She hasn’t been posh since the days she put that little black Gucci dress back in the closet, and for good reason. Posh – sometimes it pays to keep it simple!

Evan "Lost Child" Woods

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So once upon a time there was a cute girl with a lot of promise, and that same cute girl was abducted by a disgusting and irrelevant former musician by the name of Marilyn Manson, who had STDs, and he locked her up in his S&M dungeon and forced her to wear silly fetish costumes and too much makeup and become anemic, and that poor lost child grew up to become Evan Rachel Woods.

Speidi "so annoying it's debilitating" Pratt

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They’re a fake couple on fake television and now they’re married for real. I don’t want to waste more ink on them, other than to say, they don’t know how to dress for shit. And that they have shit for brains.

 

Katie "Weird Pants" Holmes

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I don’t get what Katie Holmes or her stylist is trying to do to the pants industry. It’s like the are singlehandedly trying to bring back the Mom Jean, and I really don’t agree with their initiatives. What’s with a young woman trying her best to look like she’s middle aged? I get that Tom’s quite a bit older than her and that she has a daughter now, but seriously girl, it ain’t over til it’s over. Don’t give up now.

Chuck "Pompous" Bass

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I love Chuck Bass. Love him. I would totally sleep with him in a heartbeat. He is rich, he’s good-looking, and he’s the bad boy every woman secretly wishes she could reform. And yes I get that he’s a fictional character, but still. Like I’d do get my swerve on with him in like, negative 2 seconds. But no, seriously, I can’t agree with the overboard preppy thing. Urban dandy is one thing, but urban dandy POMPOUS DOUCHE is another. Luckily, Ed Westwick in real life dresses much better than his television persona.

Pete "Uberdouche" Wentz

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What can I say about this idiot that hasn’t been said already? There are so many things wrong with him, from his hair to his stupid hoodies to his makeup and general greasy metrosexuality. I need say no more.

Mariah "Mooooooo" Carey

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Lucky for us, marriage has given Mariah Carey a new license to appear in public dressed as ridiculously as humanly possible. And now she has an equally ridiculous man to coordinate her outfits with. I’m looking forward to their whirlwind tour of overmatched and ostentatious outfits, their public declarations of love, their duet album, and their very public divorce in 2009.

Lindsay "Look Into Pants" Lohan

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I root for her, I really do. But leggings aren’t really pants. Also, even if opaque leggings are sort of like pants, tights are REALLY not pants.

added by harfang 09/16/2009

The Starring Cast Of Half-Blood Prince

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All of them.

added by harfang 09/16/2009

Bai "Duh" Ling

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I know how obvious this is, but seriously, she is SO fun to laugh at. I do want to say that I really liked her assassin character in… uh… whichever of the Star Wars prequels that was. She was a breath of fresh air and does appear to be able to act, at least in an action/adventure sort of way.

added by harfang 09/16/2009

Madonna

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I just think she needs to stay away from the see-through materials. I know she looks fabulous, but I’ve seen enough of her body.

added by freeandflawed 09/16/2009
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Good god spencer is such a tool