Oh the JOYS of being a woman in Los Angeles and BEYOND

We have to go to the GYNO

Look, I know that this may be too much information for any male viewers that happened to venture over to this guide, but hey it’s the truth and yes that crazy contraption shown above is part of the whole process. Scary stuff. The entire procedure,though imperative for your health and avoiding the risks of cervical cancer, is really just uncomfortable. The crazy tools the awkward conversation and the stirrups are enough to have a woman avoiding making her annual appointment for months. Face the fear, it doesn’t last too long and you’ll maintain your health!

We're expected to be hairless

We’re a visual society. Blame it on MTV, or porn, or entertainment….. or something….
The point is, women are expected to be very, very, well groomed. Which isn’t a problem, it’s just a lot of work. I always feel bad for tall chicks, because I’ only 5’6 and managing to shave my legs without missing a spot happens maybe once every year. You don’t HAVE to shave, but if you’re a hairy chick running around you may have some cleanliness-phobes freaked out by your hairy armpits…. So whether you shave, wax, laser, bleach? This is one of those little inconveniences that we have to deal with on a day-to-day basis. Though, we are always silky smooth.

We breastfeed

This is another thing that has a nice term on it, instead of " a little person is sucking on your boob and it hurts like a MOTHER." This is one of the things that us humans do that just reminds us that we are in fact, animals.

We maintain our "look"

Whenever I go to the gym in the middle of the day I find myself getting a bit enraged that all the men who are there simply have to “rinse off” and they can go back to work, or out to lunch, in other words they can continue on with their day without having to do the whole routine of getting ready, AGAIN.
We primp, we CURL, we PLUCK, we apply, we PAINT, we contour…all of this is a job in itself. The daily routine of getting ready makes me feel like pouring myself a drink just to get through it. The worst part, when you get ready for something- makeup and hair FULL OUT, hairspray and eyeliner…and then, you don’t do anything. It’s such wasted effort and only ladies really understand this. Men, consider yourselves very lucky.

We wear uncomfortable shoes

Sometimes, we even wear these ALL DAY LONG. The past few years quite a few designers have come out with shoes that lessen the pain and they’re getting all scientific about how to relieve pressure from our arches and balls of our feet, etc. Which is all fine and wonderful, until ALL shoes are made like that. Until then, I’ll still rock my painful, though very fierce, heels until I need to kick them off in the middle of the street. Which I’ve been known to do….I’m not shy about being barefoot in public. BTW, Jessica Simpson (though I’m embarrassed to admit this) has an incredible line of shoes that are VERY comfy…and hot.

We give ourselves breast exams

One of the most important things that a woman can do for herself is remember to give herself breast exams. Breast cancer is a very scary thing for women and most of us know a woman who has had to struggle through it. I’ve lost women in my life to cancer and I’ve seen some of them pull through gloriously, we just need to remember to remind friends and yourself so if there is anything, you catch it early. Help women around the world find a cure!!

Little people grow inside us

That’s really the best way to describe it. There is a TINY PERSON growing inside you. I think we invented the word pregnancy or the term, “expecting” as to not TERRIFY women after saying for nine months that " a small person is currently inside my uterus." The reality of that is just a little too much.
Not only are women radical for carrying around people inside them, but they also deal with ALL that comes along with that; weight gain, growth in foot size, stretch marks, vomiting, weird cravings, leakage?, pain…..eee. I like the idea of a “delivery gift” for the Mother after birth, she deserves SOMETHING.

We're expected to be thin

I always wonder if and WHEN the pressure for women to be thin will dissipate. With the rise in celebrity obsession, I’m guessing not any time soon. I’m a fan of women being the size they’re meant to be. We were all born in different shapes and sizes FOR A REASON. How boring would it be if we were all a size 2 and munching on nothing but apples and Starbucks? Ugh, we’d miss out on so many of the delicious things us Guidespot writers like to share with you! That being said, it’s best to stay healthy, try to eat right but not obsess or worry of whatever society is pressuring you to look like. It’s a constant struggle for most women in America and for that I’d like to give you all a tap on the back and hopefully you’re learning to love the body you have.

We deal with Aunt Flow

Everyone calls her/it/him/hell something different. Aunt Flow is a nice way of treating IT like a visitor, that’s only here for awhile, even if she’s terribly inconvenient. Luckily, I’m not a woman who suffers from cramps like this poor lady above, though I understand that they can be crippling to the point of vomiting and immobility. Hear that men? We are warriors, I am woman, hear me ROAR. There are certain birth control methods that can prevent the monthly crimson wave, but that’s not for everyone.

We juggle EVERYTHING

It isn’t uncommon for a woman to have children, a husband, a house, and a fabulous career all at once. The days of being a housewife only are over and even the women who DO choose to stay at home with their kids, are juggling just as much!! Women are modern day superheros.

We keep it all tucked in with CRAZY UNDERWEAR

If you’ve ever worn Spanx, which I’m assuming you have if you’re a woman, you understand their power. Truly, there is nothing like them. I could eat an entire Thanksgiving dinner and slip (or wiggle) these on and I’d look like I just did an hours worth of sit ups. They’re magical.

We're still babes!