Why On EARTH Did I Ever Wear THAT?!
by mswen
9 contributors - September 04, 2008
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News, Politics, & Pop Culture | Humor
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What was wrong with me? Was I too young to know? Was I just following a stupid fad? Did I not have a mirror? Did I actually think I looked good? Why didn't anyone tell me that I looked like an idiot? So many questions. Let's get it all out here.
Wearing Swatch watches...in bulk. And, not on your wrist.
Swatch watches themselves weren’t the problem — it was the completely ridiculous way people (OK, I) wore them: stacked in double or triple on my wrist; or, worse, around my ankle. Or neck (like a choker). Really…I was an idiot.
Stirrup pants
Who came up with this? I have no idea, but it took the world by storm: stretchy pants that hooked under your foot, creating the most unflattering leg line possible. The worst part? Wearing them with pumps. Oh, yeah!
Bicycle Shorts
Okay, Axl somehow is alright in my book wearing them to this day (I’d take his metal-trash awesomeness no other way – even paired with a kilt). But unless you’re actually riding a bike farther than say, 15 miles (ahem, Boulder) there’s really no need for these. I used to wear these under normal shorts, and I was so skinny the bicycle shorts were baggy. Not good.
added by ghosty 09/08/2008
Hypercolor
Not only did I have hypercolor shirts, I had hypercolor tights for God’s sake… Why on earth would my mom let me wear hypercolor tights under my leotard during dance class!? Guess where the color changed first? LOL!
added by AlexandraF 09/15/2008
Side ponytail
Ok, so mine was not quite so extreme as this pic. I did however totally rock the side ponytail every now and then in the 80’s.
added by HelenaHandbasket 09/16/2008
Jelly Shoes
They’re no glass slipper, but donning these transparent beauties made me feel like Cinderella! Maybe she purposefully lost that glass slipper cause she too had a problem with odor, sweat and toe jam by the end of the ball…
added by KFrey 10/23/2008
Zebra Sweaters
Remember when these were the coolest and everyone was wearing them?
OK…wait..um…did anyone else..wear? OK, never mind. Forget that last sentence.
added by ElGuapo 11/18/2008
Any and all jewelry made from 'Friendly Plastic'
Honestly, I can’t believe that my mother allowed me to wear anything I created. She must have laughed herself hoarse as I trotted out of the house wearing a brooch as big as an infant and a belted sweater that went down to my knees.
added by Andrea D 11/19/2008
Can't Buy Me Love
OK, I never wore this, but I LONGED to. I would STILL kill for the white fringed suede jacket and matching skirt, though. I don’t care.
added by Andrea D 11/20/2008
Z. Cavaricci pants
Unfortunately, Cavaricci’s weren’t a pair of hot Italian twins who went to your high school. Rather, they were horrible pants with a nipped-in waist, giant pleats, and tapered ankles.
Unflattering early 90's makeup
Oh, Brenda Walsh. I looked exactly like you back in the day: pale, powdered skin; a dark line of eye liner; and perfectly lined, brick-red, matte lips.
Umbro Shorts
I’m pretty sure I wore these every day throughout 6th and 7th grade. And not in normal sizes either. In sizes that if I put them on today, they would fall right off. No idea how they stayed up on my 13-year-old, 4’11, 85 lb body!
Also not sure why my mom let me out of the house.
added by Susie 09/08/2008
Scrunchie Socks
Oh man, I’m so bummed out that I couldn’t find a picture with two colors of scrunchie socks, alternating. I used to wear these, over leggings mind you, EVERYDAY…..Recetnyl for Halloween I busted them out again (why I still have them I don’t know?) and I never realize how HEAVY they are! Wearing two layers of those suckers would keep your feet warm from an arctic chill.
added by Chelsea 09/09/2008
Puff Paint Sweatshirts
No this is not me. But I did have a puff paint sweatshirt for every holiday! I even helped my mom and grandmother make them. Why was this fun?
added by HelenaHandbasket 09/16/2008
Parachute Pants
Thanks for nothing, MC Hammer. What a brilliant idea, make my legs look lumpy and shapeless while simultaneously drawing attention to them. I looked like a circus exploded on my legs.
added by improbable 11/16/2008
Stupid Fad Toys. What Was I Thinking?!
Please, no one remind me how much money I spent on my Pog collection. Chia Pets? Slap Bracelets? How dumb was I?
added by improbable 11/16/2008
DIY beaded country bandana
I grew up in a small town, OK? And I was crafty. Someone please kill me.
added by Andrea D 11/19/2008
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Did you synchronize your Swatch to Parker Lewis Can’t Lose?
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“skip it skip it… but the very best thing of all, theres a counter on this ball!” Come on, you know you remember… the Skip It Toy… I still want one damn it!
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