Wearing Swatch watches...in bulk. And, not on your wrist.

Swatch watches themselves weren’t the problem—it was the completely ridiculous way people (OK, I) wore them: stacked in double or triple on my wrist; or, worse, around my ankle. Or neck (like a choker). Really…I was an idiot.

Stirrup pants

Who came up with this? I have no idea, but it took the world by storm: stretchy pants that hooked under your foot, creating the most unflattering leg line possible. The worst part? Wearing them with pumps. Oh, yeah!

Bicycle Shorts

Okay, Axl somehow is alright in my book wearing them to this day (I’d take his metal-trash awesomeness no other way – even paired with a kilt). But unless you’re actually riding a bike farther than say, 15 miles (ahem, Boulder) there’s really no need for these. I used to wear these under normal shorts, and I was so skinny the bicycle shorts were baggy. Not good.

Hypercolor

Not only did I have hypercolor shirts, I had hypercolor tights for God’s sake… Why on earth would my mom let me wear hypercolor tights under my leotard during dance class!? Guess where the color changed first? LOL!

Side ponytail

Ok, so mine was not quite so extreme as this pic. I did however totally rock the side ponytail every now and then in the 80’s.

Jelly Shoes

They’re no glass slipper, but donning these transparent beauties made me feel like Cinderella! Maybe she purposefully lost that glass slipper cause she too had a problem with odor, sweat and toe jam by the end of the ball…

Zebra Sweaters

Remember when these were the coolest and everyone was wearing them?

OK…wait..um…did anyone else..wear? OK, never mind. Forget that last sentence.

Z. Cavaricci pants

Unfortunately, Cavaricci’s weren’t a pair of hot Italian twins who went to your high school. Rather, they were horrible pants with a nipped-in waist, giant pleats, and tapered ankles.

Unflattering early 90's makeup

Oh, Brenda Walsh. I looked exactly like you back in the day: pale, powdered skin; a dark line of eye liner; and perfectly lined, brick-red, matte lips.

Umbro Shorts

I’m pretty sure I wore these every day throughout 6th and 7th grade. And not in normal sizes either. In sizes that if I put them on today, they would fall right off. No idea how they stayed up on my 13-year-old, 4’11, 85 lb body!

Also not sure why my mom let me out of the house.

Scrunchie Socks

Oh man, I’m so bummed out that I couldn’t find a picture with two colors of scrunchie socks, alternating. I used to wear these, over leggings mind you, EVERYDAY…..Recetnyl for Halloween I busted them out again (why I still have them I don’t know?) and I never realize how HEAVY they are! Wearing two layers of those suckers would keep your feet warm from an arctic chill.

Puff Paint Sweatshirts

No this is not me. But I did have a puff paint sweatshirt for every holiday! I even helped my mom and grandmother make them. Why was this fun?

DIY beaded country bandana

I grew up in a small town, OK? And I was crafty. Someone please kill me.