Who I Hate the Most - With Special Guest Senor Termite

Senor Cockroach:

Well, Senor Termite, it’s been a long time since we’ve sat down. How’s the family?

Senor Termite:

They’re doing exceedingly well, thanks. Young Bitey is getting bigger every day. He ate some floorboards by himself just the other day. Here, take a look at the evidence.

S.C.:

Wow, that’s some especially awesome damage there, you must be very proud.

As you know, I’ve brought you to the show today to help you explain to our loyal readers who you hate the most. I know you have your own choice for your most hated, but let’s start with some local companies.

S.T.:

How did you know they were on my top list? I hate these guys like I hate water and deserts. I mean, with a nationally-known name and offices all around the United States, these guys are always prepped to come out and take care of business.

Cough

Do you smell something?

S.C.:

Cough

No I don’t smell anything really at all. But my throat’s been pretty dry lately. Maybe you have the same problem?

Back to the show though. Now as far as Orkin, oh yeah, I hear ya bro. I’ve lost many friends and some relatives to their quick and reliable service.

But let’s move on. How about smokers?

S.T.:

I have to say, that’s pretty accurate right there. Who needs cancer when you’re spending most of your life running away from crazy humans who want to stop you from chewing on sweet mahogany. Mmmmm, mahogany.

S.C.:

True true my friend. Though I’d rather go for some dropped Cheerios. That’s me.

I have a video here that I think we’ll enjoy as a break before we move on to our next thing we hate.

S.C.:

Hahahahahaha!  That always makes me feel better. Now, let’s talk about this guy:

S.C. (cont.)

I hate this guy ‘cause in the movie Scarface he kept making the inference that all his enemies were, and I quote “…like cockaroaches.”

cough cough Excuse me!  My throat!

You know what that means to me? That cockroaches should be squashed.

And that’s just bugist.

S.T.

Well, I completely understand what you’re saying. I’m not too much of a fan of his lousy Cuban accent either. And his acting was way overdone. But that’s beside the point.

cough  Let’s open a window shall we?

Allow me to move on to the last place I want to complain about.

S.T. (cont.):

These guys are serious about their business. They’re reasonably priced, kill termites and even do “rodent, bird and prairie dog control.” I’m sorry, but to me that sounds like fancy talk for removal. And I’ve never heard of anyone surviving removal.

cough

Sorry, SC, this is getting out of hand. I feel kind of light headed. Is that the place wehre i am to be?

Must….reach…door…to…escape…

THUD.