Where NOT To Go On A Date In Los Angeles

While you probably wouldn’t take your date here for dinner (due to the sheer lack of ambiance) perhaps you would consider picking up Zankou for a picnic dinner at the Hollywood Bowl. Don’t do it! The food is good, but it’s drenched in garlic and a tad messy to eat. So, if you don’t want garlic to ooze out of your pores, you might want to save this one for WAY down the line (like after you’ve been married for 3 years).

Ahh, ribs. As delicious as they are, there is no clean way to eat them. Your hands and face will get covered in sauce. Even worse, your date may insist on wearing one of those bibs while eating them. If that’s not embarrassing we don’t know what is…

A sandwich that’s been dipped in gravy! Red alert! Red alert! It may be scrumptious, but it will be a disaster. So save your dignity and your favorite white shirt by avoiding this landmark as far as dating destinations go.

There’s no pleasant looking way to eat a towering deli sandwich. And getting mustard all over your face and pickle juice all over your hands is just the half of it. You don’t REALLY want your date to remember you smelling like cold cuts, do you?

These soupy dumplings aren’t the easiest food to eat. Since you have to dip them in the vinegar sauce, and they’re a tad too large for chopsticks, this turns into a rather messy experience. Factor in all the soup slurping and the impossibly long noodles that can’t be cut with chopsticks, and you have yourself one drippy dinner.

You want to show your date that you’re worldly, so you think, “Ethiopian!” Ethiopian is delicious, but traditional restaurants like Messob do not provide utensils which means you have to go at your dinner with your hands. It could turn out to be a goofy, funny experience as you try to shovel meats and veggies into your mouth on pieces of injera, or things could go an entirely different route…

While we all LOVE Mexican food, we all have to admit it is on the messy side. Whether you’re eating burritos, tacos, or fajitas, things are going to get a little hairy (and by hairy we mean you’re going to end up with hands that smell like refried beans, and breath that smells like a mixture of cilantro and cheese). The huarache is also a disaster waiting to happen, with its layers of beans, meat, cheese, cream, lettuce, and salsa, it’s not the easiest thing to eat.

Yes, the burgers here are good. BUT it takes forever to get inside, and once you’re inside you might not be able to get a table—it’s not uncommon to see people eating while standing up at the bar. Plus, you will smell like oniony burger afterwards, which isn’t super appealing.

It may have looked cute in “10 Things I Hate About You” but taking your date to a paintball park is anything but. Unless your date has spent time in the military he/she probably won’t appreciate having things hurled in their general direction.

Quite possibly one of the messiest foods EVER, wings are a definite no no. Not only do you have to pick them up with your hands, but sauce has a tendency to get all over your face and possibly even your on nose. Don’t question it, we’ve seen it happen.

Dessert sounds like a good idea, right? Well not at this cream puff palace. Cream will come shooting out of this Asian delight, covering your face in the process. Probably not the best image you want to project on a date…

Casual afternoon dates are a good idea if you want to play it cool and low-key. But you might want to avoid places like the Oinkster for lunch. The eats here are good, but this bbq joint makes one messy sandwich. So unless you think you look charming covered in gooey cheese and meat juice, you might want to get to keep your options open.

As tasty as seafood is, eating it isn’t the most flattering thing you could do. Anything that involves a hammer and cleaning out guts just ain’t going to be pretty. So unless your date is a deep sea fisherman or a marine biologist, it might be a good idea to avoid the whole seafood restaurant thing.