Where I Imagine What Became of Child Stars' TV Characters All Grown Up

By Soynugget
updated about 1 month ago

Everyone knows child stars (Cosby kids excluded) grow up to be train wrecks, but does the same rule apply to their fictional childhood characters? Let’s check in on TV kids from yesteryear and see where they might be in 2008.

DONNA MARTIN:
Jewelry designer. Specializing in Purity Rings.

PUNKY BREWSTER:
Turned “Punky Power!” into a Women’s Studies degree at some easy-to-get-into state school. Life on the streets and a rough past eventually caught up with the little moppet. Punky developed a bad addiction to speedy type drugs (provided to her by her drug dealer and childhood BFF, Allan ). She eventually cleaned up and landed a job at an American Apparel store.

VICKY THE ROBOT:
While her annoying family was on vacation, the house was broken into and Vicky was taken apart by that rambunctious red-headed neighbor, Harriette, and put back together as a Teddy Ruxpin before meeting her ultimate fate as a VCR.

PAUL PFEIFFER:
Became Marilyn Manson. His understudy is the older brother, Kevin, from Mr. Belvedere.

RICKY STRATTON:
What a waste. Lays around watching Brewster's Millions all day then tricks underage girls from Simi Valley into sleeping with him at night.

I could do this all day long. Your turn.