I hate to tell you how much I dislike such a fine, historic area. But honestly, do not enter Faneuil Hall at night. Unless you are one of the following:

A drunk frat boy
An out-of-towner who just wants to get wasted (meaning you don’t live IN Boston and a “night in the city” is a big deal for you)
Looking to start a fight
Want a late-night sausage sandwich

The Bars in Faneuil Hall I Hate the Most:

Sissy K's and Kitty O'Sheas

To be perfectly honest, I’m not even really sure I can tell the difference between Sissy K’s and Kitty O’Sheas. They both have lame names with “S”’s and “K”’s and they’re both dirty and gross inside.

One of them (Sissy K’s?) has the nastiest upstairs dance floor you’ve ever seen and the people that hang out here are not people I typically like to hang out with.

The Hong Kong

All I really know about the Hong Kong is that they have late-night chicken on a stick. I occasionally find myself wandering about the area on my way home from other horrible bars in Faneuil Hall and grabbing some chicken. I walked in once and ew, I wasn’t impressed. I just don’t get who would want to party in a Chinese restaurant. Especially one that often has a cover charge.

However, I have heard that their karaoke is awesome. And they allegedly have $1.50 Coors Light drafts. Hmmm.

The Tam

You’d think I’d be a big fan of the Tam since I did go to Emerson College. Maybe it’s because I was there for graduate school and not undergrad, but I am really not a Tam fan at all. I guess maybe it would be fun if you went with a bunch of your classmates for trivia or something, but the creepy old men who always seem to be sitting at the bar, staring, make me not want to go here. It’s pretty much just dark and dirty. OK for an after-class beer, but I’d never make the Tam my hangout.

The Kells

The Kells is just filled with skeevy people trying to dance with you and more. It’s extremely dirty and gross. And can someone please tell me how an Irish bar has a Chinese food stand in it?? I’m kind of lost on that one.

If you want to go to a bar and find yourself near The Kells, at least go to White Horse instead. Or Sunset. Anything but The Kells!

Whiskey’s just screams college frat party to me. It’s always packed so full you can barely move and it can be nearly impossible to get to the bar. Lots of rowdy college kids hang out here and most try to act a lot tougher than they are.

If you get a table, even when it’s not at dinner time, you HAVE to stay seated at it or the bouncers and waiters will keep walking by yelling at you. That means if the table isn’t big enough for everyone you’re hanging out with, the rest of your friends can’t stand and chat. Lame.

You’re on Boylston Street. Go somewhere else.

Wonder Bar

Wonder Bar is not a place I like to hang out on Friday or Saturday nights. Allegedly they have a good Sunday brunch, but weekend nights are basically one huge, trashy dance club that will make you feel like you’re in some sort of underground rave.

What sticks out in my mind the most from the last time I was there is the homeless man wearing a sign asking for money dancing the night away. We spent the entire night trying to avoid getting too close.

Joshua Tree

I do have to say that the Joshua Tree is a pretty fun place to watch a game, especially during the week or on a weekend afternoon. However, I do not recommend going here on a Friday or Saturday night unless you are under 21 and looking for a place that’s easy to get into.

I swear the last time I was here on a weekend night I was the oldest person there…by A LOT. I’ve never been hit on by so many young boys who were absolutely shocked to find out that I was 25. I think I was asked where I went to college at least 12 times and I felt completely out of place.

Disappointing because Joshua Tree really has so much potential, is in an easy-to-get-to area for me, and I really thought it would be a great place to hang out.

The Pour House

I’ve tried time and time again to like this place as a bar, but the only thing it’s really good for is their breakfast and their nachos.

Weekend nights I’d stay far away. The people who hang out here are either college kids or sketchy 20-somethings just looking for cheap beer and cheap girls.