I Know What You Wore Last Summer

Uggly Shoes

Most of us know that Uggs. are hideous shoes. If you are that 25% of the population that still things they’re “hip”, then WAKE UP!

What are you thinking? Especially in the summer! Uggs were originally designed to wear in the middle of winter and not for very hot temperatures. What would the Eskimos think?

Croc-a-doodle Don'ts!

Crocs. have to be the 2nd ugliest shoe, next to barfing, ugly Uggs. I’m sorry, but if you are an adult with any sense of style, why choose these shoes?

Leave these brightly colored, annoying, holey, shoes in the garden, please! Oh, and leave your kids out of them too.

Funky Flip Flop Feet

Flip flops are nice for the beach, and recreational activities. Yet, they ARE NOT appropriate for busy city streets filled with dirt and piss. Let’s keep our feel clean and steer clear of funky flip flops! Yuck!

Sandal Leggings

I don’t even know what to say. I guess these are designed for colder temperatures indoors and warm weather outdoors? I’m not quite sure what this is. Just don’t wear it.

Grass Between Your Toes

There is nothing like feeling grass squish between your toes! It is innately human to want to feel the grass between your toes. But why walk around like that? Wouldn’t that get annoying?

Just take off your shoes and run through the REAL grass! What have we as a human race come to?

Shroom Scarf

Now, this just screams HUGE dork or shroom head. I don’t have a problem with either, but at least have the decency to not wear it around your neck. Thanks.

Huge Ass Sunglasses

I can’t say that I don’t own a pair of these. In fact, I have a few pairs of annoyingly large sunglasses. For some reason though, I don’t like seeing them on other people. Sounds rude, I know.

Yet, when I’m trying to have a conversation and I can’t see your eyes, removal of these large ass glasses would be polite.

Boody Words

If you think your ass if nice and you want others to check it out, there are plenty of ways to do this. Such as: wear tight jeans, snug skirts, or even shorts alone will do. My only question is, WHY MUST YOU TELL ME WHAT TO THINK WITH YOUR BUTT?

Wear Your Size

Skinny is not necessarily what I’m talking about here. I could care less what size you are… just KNOW YOUR SIZE! Please, please, please wear clothes that fit you in the appropriate places this summer! PLEASE! FOR THE SAKE OF HUMANITY!

Long Jesus Sandals

Now I know Mary Kate or Ashley (whoever this is) does not think, “What would Jesus do?” So if you don’t think this, then why wear these sandals? I don’t get it, I just don’t get it.

Stirrup Leggings?

Were these in after the 80’s? I don’t remember thinking these EVER looked good on ANYONE! Models can’t even pull these off. Why don’t they go all the way up the leg? What is there purpose?! Someone please explain!

TennisHeels

Wearing a tennis shoe is one thing, but a tennis shoe serves a unique and special purpose. The tennis shoe is NOT meant to be attached to a heal! Whoever thought this was a clever idea needs to be brought to justice!

Ball Feet

Do you really want to have balls on your toes? I mean, that screams AWKWARD! Again, what is going on with this trend of winter meets summer, sandal scandal?

Tacky Hand Bags

I think one can pull off this sort of bag style if you are planning an 80’s party. Now, there is nothing wrong with the 80’s style. Just WHY make them shinny and annoying? Luis Vuitton, someone needs to tell you to STOP it!

Short Mini Skirts

This has GOT to be an uncomfortable experience. When you bend over, I do not wish the world to see your Victoria Secret underwear. That is a private matter, please keep it to yourself.

Prep School 101

Sometimes the weather changes and you must shed some layers. I know, it’s a crazy phenomenon, but why must you tie the sweater around the shoulders? This does not place you in a “higher society”, nor does it really keep you warm. So… why I ask?

Hottie=Not A Hottie

If you have “Hottie” written on your shirt, that equals insecurity and frankly, equals not hot. You don’t have to tell people you’re hot.

Visors Are So Not In Anymore

Where did the rest of the hat go? Why do you wear a half hat? Is this stylish, functional, sporty? I don’t get this one.