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So, You've Decided To Try Internet Dating In New York
- by matt_fried
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- July 23, 2009
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So, you've decided to seek out love online, without the social stigmata of a chat room, or the police entrapment of Craigslist. Welcome to the 21st Century; now get ready to have your expectations lowered. It's funny how something - like internet dating - was once laughable at the beginning of the decade, but has now achieved social acceptance nine years later. Here's the truth: we've all done it at some point. It's fun and it's great fodder for material. Internet dating does have it's charms - yes - but you can also think of it as a big cyber bar. And, every guy there has read THE GAME.
Match.com
You’ve seen the ads in all the magazines. The image of a very in love, late twentysomething/early thirtysomething couple diving into a pool. Over it is a testimonial about how jaded they were for love and relationships and marriage and any sense of happiness. That is, until they met each other. Suddenly, it’s just like Heaven – or whatever other Cure song you use for romance montages in your head. Anyway, for $34.99 a month, Match.com actually does a very impressive job helping you find a mate. Of course, as I’ve found, it doesn’t have a “flake” filter.
Angel's Share
8 Stuyvesant Street New York, NY 10003
The bar here is one thing, but the beautiful fresco ceiling is definitely something else to consider.
Ok Cupid.com
Ok Cupid – the low-rent dating website for poor people. I have a friend who has used it and he’s successfully blown it with a host of attractive women. His adventures not withstanding, I’ve heard middling success with Ok Cupid. Since they don’t charge (or at least “don’t charge much”) for you to find the person of your dreams, the site is increasingly popular with college students and recent grads. Plus – from the glimpses I’ve gotten of the user community – you can surely expect a great night of fun, NSA sex, and never speaking to each other ever again.
Say What?
Clearly, whoever wrote this hasn’t had my dating experience.
Lavalife
Is it just me, or has Lavalife gotten more creepy since it first came into being? Maybe it’s all those animated ads I see on the subway nowadays. Or, perhaps it’s the fact that it’s the only dating website I know of that has an NSA (No Strings Attached) section. And, yes – that means exactly what you think it does. A dating website for love, romance, and maybe a little light spanking before the hour is up. Like Adult Friend Finder, but – y’know – classy.
Shalel Lounge
65 West 70th Street New York, NY 10023
One place in the Upper West Side that’s renowned for it’s happy hour and great ambiance.
How To Be Successful...
I’ve been doing internet dating on-and-off for three years now. It really wasn’t until recently that I had any remarkable success with it. Mostly because: any person can be their own worst enemy online. Therefore, if you want to actually attract attention, consider a few of these points:
- Actually go into detail on your profile. Don’t tell your life story, but give people enough of a sense of you. Generalities are only used by two kinds of people: the insecure and the boring.
- Post pictures that show you in the best light. This includes something funny or upbeat that can be a conversation starter. Smiling ones also help. If you’re trying to be ironic by posting a picture of your dog or a desert landscape, I’m not going to be interested.
- Pay attention to your grammar. Do you know how many people I never talk to because they don’t know the difference between “there” and “their”, or they write in all capitalization, or they’re completely unaware that a comma exists? If someone can’t even write a decent sentence, do you really want to meet that person?
- Keep your expectations realistic. People join dating websites for a variety of different reasons. Some are purely social, others are frighteningly psychological. Don’t get lost in some Hollywood fantasy. Just keep an open mind; the internet is a great way for a psycho to look like a saint.
Chemistry.com
The website that’s capitalizing on eHarmony’s failures. Kind of like what Eli is doing to Peyton, right now. Anyway, Chemistry.com advertises itself as the younger, hipper, more open-minded version of eHarmony. It actually considers that gay people have feelings and it won’t question your morals over who you rooted for on Project Runway. Honestly, I don’t know anybody who has used this site… at least I don’t think I know anybody who’s used this site. Looking for love and someone who likes pizza? Give this one a whirl, why not?
Chemistry.com
I don’t know why you got rejected. Maybe because you decided to participate in a smear campaign?
Flor de Sol
361 Greenwich Avenue New York, NY 10013
Another flashy tapas bar. If that’s what you’re into, then have at it.
Stay on your toes
Recently, a friend of mine asked me what I planning to do on a first date. After I described plans for dinner, she balked over the phone and asked me “Um, why?” A good point I had never considered. The first date really is the first time you’re getting to meet someone. Should you be looking for “the spark”? How about considering if you would just want to see that person again in a different setting, for a longer period of time? Internet dating can definitely be it’s own roller coaster of exciting and disappointment. Why not give somebody the benefit of the doubt over a casual drink, or maybe conversation? Put you and your date in a low-pressure situation, where things are loose and if it’s not going well, you both have an easy out.
Emerald Pub
308 Spring Street New York, NY 10013
The classic ’80s film After Hours was shot here and they offer the best happy hour in all the city. Just a thought.
eHarmony.com
Ah, the Great American dating behemoth. eHarmony makes itself out to be your one-stop website to meet the person of your dreams and be living in miserable bliss by 30. All you ever see are happy couples, thrilled that their days of living in desperation as an emotionally needy single person are over. Because isn’t that what love is? Taking every bit of your emotional insecurity and thrusting it upon another person? Of course, what they don’t tell you about the eHarmony survey is that you can be rejected. And, they don’t exactly accommodate to every modern lifestyle.
Get To Know Dr. Neil Warren
Meet eHarmony’s founder and “grandfatherly type”.
No Love For The Gays
Apparently eHarmony really has it’s work cut out for itself with 50% of the country.
Sweet & Vicious
5 Spring Street New York, NY 10012
Hip and low-key. Definitely something that can work in your favor.
Nerve.com
Nerve.com, the social networking site that also happens to have a personals page. Nerve is the place for the outgoing, hip city-dweller/quirky suburban coffeehouse owner. Nerve actually is licensed over more than one website. Meaning, I found out about Nerve because a profile I had on one site was also posted on Nerve’s site. Imagine my surprise when I found out that my mug and hilarious profile was posted without my knowing it. Anyway, that aside, Nerve also employs a blogging staff to write about their dating experiences. So, beware, you may just end up as fodder for one more person, other than me.
Nerve's Funny-Loving Drug Romance Community
Does getting high help you make love? I don’t know, but I’m sure creeped out by that older dude with the beard!
Boqueria
53 West 19th Street New York, NY 10011
I told you to keep it low-pressure, but you just had to take her to a fancy tapas bar. Okay…
Yup, you bought the book. Are you taking the class, too?
The Place
310 West 4th Street New York, NY 10014
Their wine list is great.
Check the links
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i heart dr. neil warren!
.jpg "Matt Fried")
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Angel’s Share, eh?
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Angel’s Share is quite the date hot spot!
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