How to Have Sex With Hot Women Even If You Don't Own the Three Wolf Moon Shirt

Tiger Shirt

Women will be attracted to this shirt because a tiger is pretty much a wolf if a wolf was a cat.

American Flag Wolf Shirt

When there is no moon to howl at, an American Flag is the next best thing. This is what you should wear on the fourth of July, Memorial Day and Flag Day when you want to look awesome.

Wolverine Shirt

While this is not a Wolf shirt per se, women will have a hard time resisting you when you wear this shirt. It’s pretty much like wearing wolf pheromone in a cotton/polyester blend.

Dolphin Shirt

Dolphins are the Wolfs of the sea. This is the #1 shirt you buy your girlfriend if you wanna have lots of sex.

Dragon Shirt

Wolf Shirt’s Geekier cousin.

Frog Shirt

This is a classic frog design plus cool spray paint moon background.

To be honest, you’ll probably have a hard time getting laid in this shirt.

Three Keyboard Cat Moon Shirt

I’m not saying that this is more epic than the Three Wolf Moon Shirt, but I am saying an ancient battle has started to stir again. Wolf vs. Cat. Howling vs. Piano. Choose your side wisely and prepare for annihilation.
Or just buy the t-shirt and look super hip.

Bald Eagle Shirt

Even though they are bald, Eagles are the next best animals besides Wolfs at having sex.

You should wear this shirt if you are bald or balding. It will serve as a subtle hint to the ladies that you are still good at sex, even though you don’t have a lot of hair.

Awesome Eagle Shirt

Oh Yeaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!

Eagles and American flags go together like tank tops and mullets.

Taz Shirt

Like Wolverine, Taz is also not a wolf howling at the moon. But this shirt is pretty bad-ass nonetheless. Also, there is a bonus moon on this shirt.

The perfect venue to wear your Taz shirt is ANYWHERE, but especially amusement parks and county fairs.

The reason to wear this shirt is not only because it is cool, but more importantly you wear it so you have the perfect segue to show your date the badass Taz tattoo you have on your arm.

The conversation will pretty much go like this:

Hot woman: I like your Taz shirt. It makes me wanna have sex with you.

You: Oh thanks. I have like three others at home. You wanna see something awesome?

[at which point, you lift up your sleeves to expose your guns and Taz tattoo]

Hot woman: [most likely already taking her bra off] OMG, let’s go have sex on the zipper right now.

Magical Unicorn Shirt

Although it is not as good as a dolphin shirt, your girlfriend will like this shirt too. Mostly, this shirt is cool because it comes with a mail-in rebate for a Lisa Frank Trapper-Keeper.

Dinosaur Shirt

Back in prehistoric times, Wolfs fought dinosaurs. Wolfs won the battle which led to the great dinosaur extinction.

Fortunately most women don’t know dinosaurs are inferior to wolfs (unless they’re paleontologists)

Women will still be attracted to this shirt because most women are attracted to dinosaurs.