I work with kids of various shapes and sizes. With attention spands of various shapes and sizes. But the general common denominator with all elementary kids today, something that binds them together and keeps them united, is a very peculiar pop culture phenomenon. And that, pray tell, is Michael Jackson.

Now, they don’t know him for who he really is. Who he was. They can’t sing along to Billie Jean, or reenact the classic dance moves of Thriller. They don’t know who Lisa Marie Presley is or what happened on a memorable MTV awards show (lucky devils). To them, the man in the mirror is a mystery. But a mystery that, without fail, gets brought up on a daily basis.
“Michael Jackson” is the password to their saved games; he is the subject of powerpoint presentations, portraits, and most of the giggling ever heard inside of my classroom.

So, I felt that as people longing for a little extra dosage of culture and updated education, here’s the reasons why MJ is still causing a stir, according to the 10 year old dictionary:

1) He doesn’t have a nose.

How crazy is that?!?

2). He tried to throw his kid out the window once.

3). My Mom said he got arrested for having sleepovers.

4). He’s weiiiird.

5). He used this weird chemical stuff to dye his face.