Guide to Conquering Proposal Season - Yeah!

Does This Say "I Want to Spend The Rest of My Days With You" to YOU???

It’s amazing how approximately 30% (yes I just planted a completely made-up statistic) of U.S. marriage proposals seem to take place at Disneyworld. (More specifically, Cinderella’s Castle.) What about out of work actors in giant Donald Duck hats and being surrounded by people under four feet exactly strikes you as romantic? Well, I suppose for some couples, Disneyworld is where the fairytale comes true. Far be it from me to rain on their parade.

The Classic Restaurant Proposal

This one’s been around longer than Karl Malden. It usually involves a complicit manager, an expensive piece of jewelry shoved into a slice of cake, and a waiter who either walks out with the biggest tip of his service industry career or a “check please” that really screams, “Can please manipulate space and time so that this meal never happened? And is there a way you could arrange for an ambulance to transport me to the nearest sad man bar? This is an emergency.”

Some considerations for this type of marriage proposal:

• Unless Pizza Hut holds some special significance to you and your partner, why not make it a really nice place? After all, this is pretty special occasion
• Make reservations well in advance
• Confirm the reservations and any special requests of the waitstaff/kitchen the day before and probably also the day of 
• If you’re planning on proposing at an Italian joint, don’t go to the Olive Garden two days before
• If you insist on doing the magically-appearing ring trick, just be sure it’s not hidden so well or in such a way that your partner risks ingesting it

The Travel Marriage Proposal

Have you been dating upwards of three years? Are you taking your first European vacation together? Are you ordering your first in-flight alcoholic beverage ever on the way there? Even the flight attendants recognize the early signs of a passenger bound for a proposal abroad.

Some considerations for this type of marriage proposal:

• Do you have all of travel documents in order?
• Have you thought about getting the ring (if you have a ring) packed safely, and through security without alerting your partner?
• Have you thought about proposing at some place other than the Eiffel Tower or The Colosseum – some place romantic but off the beaten path?
• Would your partner rather spend the trip engaged or be surprised on the last night? Are you sure the answer is going to be yes?

The Kiss Cam/Scoreboard Marriage Proposal

If your special someone is big into sports, then this proposal has their name all over it. And probably all over the telly, too!

Some considerations for this type of marriage proposal:

• Be sure your partner is not taking a bathroom or Cracker Jacks break when it happens
• Be sure to go over the spelling or pronunciation of your partner’s name with the persons in charge. This is no time for typos
• Suggest dinner or drinks some place nice after the game so that you and your partner have an excuse to look your best that day
• You GOTS to be sure the answer is going to be “yes” or you risk ending up disappointed and humiliated via Youtube for years to come

The Musical Marriage Proposal

Sometimes it’s so good that you just have to put it to music. For those brave and creative souls who decide to write a song…

Some considerations:

• Has your instrument been tuned lately? ;)
• Can you carry a tune? Has this been confirmed by a non-relative?
• Be sure if this is a public performance that you have all quiet so that every word is heard

Interestingly Enough...

• Many people propose with Teddy Bears (no judgment…)
• Lots of folks pop the question at work
• It’s quite common to create a large diversion when executing a proposal
• Some people like to feign a minor injury or accident when proposing
• Instead of asking, many people prefer to write the proposal in sand on paper, or onscreen
• It’s not uncommon to create a photo album that ends in a marriage proposal
• Children are often cute costars in marriage proposals
• Some folks like to make a day of it with massages, manicures, shopping and fine dining

...And may the force be with you

An Important Question: Who Is This Person You're Proposing To?

Many folks who’ve save hard-earned not-at-all-funny money in order to purchase a ring and/or make their proposal special fall victim of cliches. The real question you should be asking yourself is: who is this person I’m heck-bent on spending the rest of my life with and what are the reasons? Once you’ve gone and answered those questions, a very personal marriage proposal should form pretty organically. What does he/she like? What does he/she dislike? If he/she is a very private person, why have you come to a college football game to pop the all-important Q?  This is a situation that calls for some real tailoring on your part.

The "It Takes a Village" Marriage Proposal

I wonder if it’s just the thrill of sharing this moment with perfect strangers and the chance acquaintance that makes some people want to pop the question out in the midst of a crowd. Or maybe there’s the hope that they’ll be less likely to turn you down if they have a captive audience? Either way, you should be sure that the person you’re proposing to is comfortable with public displays of affection because this is pretty much the biggest public display (short of something illegal) that you can cook up.

The One-Size-Fits-All Proposal Kit - $49.99

The good news is, I don’t think Target sells this. I’m not aware this product even exists. I am aware, though, that many people think that candles+rose petals+wine+ring = a very special marriage proposal. Maybe it is special if you’ve never been one to lavish your significant other with these staples of North American romance, but it certainly isn’t very imaginative. Would you ever describe your partner as one-size-fits-all? Surely hope not…

Simple, Sincere Marriage Proposal

Sometimes the best proposal for you and your partner doesn’t require an airplane or an exotic setting; sometimes it’s just a location that’s meaningful to both of you and the right words to express why you want this person in your life, come what may. In fact, outside of North America, marriage proposals are generally much simpler.

Some considerations for this type of marriage proposal:

• Is your partner the type of person who would be disappointed with something simple? (Cause that would be silly…a-hem, a-hem. That would be unfortunate…)
• Have you still made an attempt to plan exactly what to say other than just “will you marry me?” Sentiment can win out over spectacle, but a marriage proposal shouldn’t come across as something you just decided to do ten minutes ago.

Most People Propose...

• On a beach
• At sunset
• In a park
• On a hike
• With a picnic
• On a holiday
• On a birthday
• On an anniversary
• At a restaurant
• After asking for future in-laws’ permission
• On a vacation
• With friends and family present