The $1,000.00 Free Turkey

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Everything you ever wanted to know about receiving a $1,000.00 free turkey.

Going Snowboarding

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You ever wake up one of those days before Thanksgiving and decide to go snowboarding, but the day goes horribly awry?

This guide gives you the information you need to handle such a day.

The Charity

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I was ready to go snowboarding and headed out.

When I opened the door, there was a box of food from a charity on my front step.

They must have been trying to donate the food to a previous tenant.

I figured I would call them the next day to fix the error.

The Free Turkey

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Among the box of food was a huge fifteen pound frozen turkey.

I figured I would put it in my freezer so it wouldn’t go bad.

Then, I was finally free to head off for an awesome day of snowboarding.

The Freezer

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Thankfully, the day of snowboarding was injury free and uneventful until I got home.

I walk in to find the freezer door wide open and the free frozen turkey was on the floor (not so frozen anymore).

The contents of the freezer had melted leaving an incredible mess in the freezer, in the refrigerator, behind the refrigerator, all over the counter and all over the floor.

The Cat

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After spending a good hour or two cleaning up the mess, I realized I had not seen my kitty since I got home.

I had a hard time finding her and finally found her cringing and none too happy underneath the dresser.

I didn’t know how she could even fit under there, but had to move the dresser to get her out.

The Veterinarian

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Well, the poor cat was dragging her back legs behind her like she was paralyzed, so, I figured it was a good time to make an emergency call to the vet.

I know I didn’t hurt her with the dresser, so I had to logically assume that the fifteen pound frozen turkey must have fallen on her.

The End

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Thankfully, after checking the x-rays to make sure a five pound cat was not crushed by a fifteen pound frozen turkey and blood work to check for internal bleeding, the cat was fine, just a bad strain.

After tallying the cleaning supplies used, the electric bill for running an open freezer door for twelve hours, a trip to the chiropractor, and the veterinarian’s bill, I was the glorious recipient of a $1,000.00 free turkey.

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Discussions

-620011588

I don’t think a hairless cat would be as cute as a furry one if it got fat… good guide! I laughed out loud a little..

-621924948

I think all cats should eat free turkeys, get really fat, and look really cute… I like fat cats! Oh, and glad the kitty is ok!

-619595008

Is your cat always that evil looking or was it caused by being hit by a frozen turkey? I’m thinking of a song called “Scary Cat”….

About The Author

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excelninja Rss 

Aurora, Colorado
It is easy using my excel ninja organization (cult) to crank out the guidespot pages. I am not only a member, I am the founder. Don't drink the punch.

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