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15 Things that Really are Bigger in Texas
- by elguapo
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- August 25, 2009
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Why is it that Texans have an insatiable need to make everything GIANT? I don't know but I find it hilarious. Dallas Cowboys owner and consummate D-bag, Jerry Jones just unveiled the Cowboy's new $1.2 billion Texas-sized stadium which will house the world's largest video screen. Unfortunately for the Cowboys, the massive jumbo-tron that spans from from one twenty yard line to the other is actually too big for the stadium and keeps getting hit by punts in preseason games. Ha! Take that silly Texans! This whole jumbotron debacle got me wondering whether EVERYTHING really bigger in Texas...um, yeah, apparently the answer is yes.
1. The Steaks
Three cheers for gluttony!!!
Texas Roadhouse
18345 La Grange Rd, Tinley Park, IL 60487
You can’t get a 72 oz steak here, but you can get a bargain busting steak for $7.99. Hooray!!
You can’t get a 72 oz steak here, but you can get a bargain busting steak for $7.99. Hooray!!
4. The Jesus
Jesus is HUGE in Texas
6. The Ass Whoopins
Best Baseball Fight. EVER!
8. The Underage Drinking
10. The Heart Attack Rate
Eat this Burger at Bob’s BBQ Grill. If you don’t die from a massive coronary, you get 20% off your bill.
Texan Bbq the
Chicago, IL 60619
“High quality meats, affordable pricing and a fun, casual atmosphere.” Get the ribs or the beef brisket.
“High quality meats, affordable pricing and a fun, casual atmosphere.” Get the ribs or the beef brisket.
12. The Gator Haters
UT Fans really hate the Gators.
Dallas Restaurant Inc
7050 W 63rd St, Chicago, IL 60638
No giant Jumbotron like the stadium but they do have fried gator bites.
No giant Jumbotron like the stadium but they do have fried gator bites.
14. The headwear
It’s funny because it’s bigger than a normal hat.
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2. The Gun Lobby
Texas Corral
9200 Indianapolis Blvd, Highland, IN 46322
Corral your hunger with giant steaks, salads and Texas sized shrimp at this place. Best part — become a peanut throwing outlaw by dumping your empty peanut shells on the floor with impunity.
Corral your hunger with giant steaks, salads and Texas sized shrimp at this place. Best part — become a peanut throwing outlaw by dumping your empty peanut shells on the floor with impunity.
3. The Douchebags
5. The Bedazzled Armadillo Sculptures
7. The Stupid Human Tricks
Balancing a Texas made, Shiner Bock on your belly. Way to make your mom proud!
9. The Hood Ornaments
11. The Livestock
This baby weighs 2400 pounds, the equivalent of 9 burgers at Bob’s BBQ Grill.
13. The Footwear
15. The Silicone
Biggest Boobs in Texas, Sheyla Hershey has 38 FFFs (FYI that’s over two quarts of silicone). Originally from Brazil, this buxom Texan actually has to travel back to Brazil for her newest surgery 38 KKKs because there’s a law in Texas that prevents her from putting any more silicone into her body.
Texas De Brazil
51 E Ohio St, Chicago, IL 60611
Where Brazil and Texas collide in an epic battle of cholesterol. It’s an all you can eat steak and salad joint. If you’ve never been to a Brazilian steak house, be prepared to go with an appetite.
Where Brazil and Texas collide in an epic battle of cholesterol. It’s an all you can eat steak and salad joint. If you’ve never been to a Brazilian steak house, be prepared to go with an appetite.
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