How To Become A Member Of Teen Girl Squad

Eat designer fro-yo.

Any place with fancy probiotic yogurt, toppings rich in anti-oxidants, and special spoons available for purchase will do. To be part of the teen girl squad, you’ve got to have one of those “Buy 10 Get 1 Free” cards in your Trapper Keeper, and of course, be willing to spend your milk money on a $5 fro-yo at least twice a week.

Hang out in the smoking section at IHOP.

Seriously ladies and germs, this is pretty much the most hardcore place to host a TGS meeting. Bring those clove cigarettes you hid in your underwear drawer, and discuss french kissing techniques over your pigs in a blanket.

Develop a crush on EVERY boy.

If he’s older than Macauley Culkin in the first Home Alone, then he’s obviously the man for you. Real TGS members eat, sleep and breathe boys. Try playing games like MASH, writing your name with the last names of other boys in your Lisa Frank folder, and dialing the first 6-digits of any given boy’s number before hanging up to keep the crush maximized. Photo Credit

Play Milton Bradley's "Party Mania" at least once a week.

This is my favorite game ever! I’m thinking of buying a VCR just so I can play it at every party I host. The objective of each player is to finish your chores along the path of a board game before Johnny’s big house party, all while interacting with various videotaped boys with mushroom cuts. Hope Aunt Martha doesn’t ground you before the big event! Photo Credit

Choose your daily activities via paper fortune teller.

Don’t waste time deciding whether you should go try to date some boys, go eat potstickers at CPK, or buy out the Wet ‘N’ Wild aisle at Walgreen’s. Let your fortune teller do all the pesky deliberating. Photo Credit

Wet 'N' Wild MegaLiners are a must!

Administer bad stripey highlights.

Then wear a headscarf to hide it from your parents so you don’t get grounded. A long scarf can do double-duty in covering up the hickey that you got from Brett Bretterson when he got double-dog dared to do “Seven Minutes In Heaven” with you. Photo Credit

Get drunk off one Mike's Hard Lemonade.

They always seem to have more potency when they’ve been hidden in a shoebox in your closet for 6 months. Try splitting one with your besties in the stairwell of your apartment building, then getting into a fight and crying due to heightened emotions.

Get really dressed up on Friday night, then go to Quizno's.

Photo Credit

Always carry floss threaders in your purse.

You never know when the basketball team might show up at Applebee’s, and you’ll need to do some serious damage control on your braces.

Take tanning and teeth whitening rituals to the extreme.

Get busted for shoplifting.

Come on, you know you want that hemp necklace from Abercrombie… Photo Credit