Techno Viking - the History of the Greatest Human Being to Walk the Earth

The History of Techno Viking

At a point in history when man crawled out of the primordial slime and began to walk on two feet (the 50s), there appeared a star in the heavens. This star descended to earth in a little town in Germany and out of the meteor stepped a 6’5" god who called himself Techno Viking.

Techno Viking (who also went by the name Hans) began to spread his story of the power and majesty of a new style of music called Techno. His Truth was met with fear, as the villagers attempted to stone him and send him away to a castle like the fictive character Baron Frankenstein.

The Techno Viking repelled these human attacks like the pitiful spears against tanks they were and instead wiped out the village with a thunderbolt.

Soon however, Techno Viking began to wander the earth, and soon ended up upon a tiny island called Eng Land. He brought not only the wonder of Techno music, but writing and clothing as well to the uneducated masses.

After the music of Techno was passed from one land to the next, Techno Viking knew it was time to return to Germany for the so-called Love Fest, a year-long celebration of thanks to the Viking himself.

Much like King Lear dressing down as a peasant, the Viking went incognito. There at the festival, he was prepared to deal with those who did not listen to his message of Techno and Love.

Thus it is written, thus it shall be.