A Survivor Kit for Murderdelphia

By darlingnikki
updated 3 months ago

How to keep your wits about you and yourself prepared in Philadelphia: the City of Brotherly Homicide.

The City of Brotherly Homicide

(Guide icon photo by: John Shackleton)

How does a Philly-dweller stay alive in a city whose murder rate has now become
infamous? Consider the statistics: on average, there was more than one murder per day in 2007. While the murder rate has fallen significantly in ’08, Philly’s violent crime rate is still fairly high in the scheme of things. Realistically speaking, chances are you are not on a hit-list for any local crime syndicate. In fact, chances are greater that you will flop a royal flush the first time you play Hold ‘Em than you will be the unwitting victim of a drive-by. Regardless, it’s better to be safe than dead.

Know your ‘hood

If you are a newcomer to the City of Brotherly Homicide learning about your neighborhood is essential. Knowing which neighborhoods are rife with crime is not always an intuitive venture. Even in populated places that seem ‘safe,’ walking alone, drunk and blissfully ignorant of your surroundings is likely to put you in harm’s way. For example, CenterCity, particularly around Market Street, can be dangerous at night. The key to staying safe is not to become paranoid and frightened, but maintain a Zen-like awareness of where you are all of the time.

Become a Real-Life Ninja

If you walk through the streets like a scared little kitten, you instantly make yourself a target for muggers, pick-pocketers and overzealous panhandlers. On top of maintaining an awareness of your surroundings, it is essential to a streetwise existence to build your general level of confidence. Not all of us are born with preternatural powers like Spiderman, Wolverine or Buffy the Vampire Slayer. But physical and mental strength in addition to reflexes and instinct are something that can be developed through training.

Avoid Road Rage

Road rage, pedestrian psychosis and biker beserker are all symptoms of living in a too-hot, overcrowded city. Unfortunately these things are directly associated with homicide, assault and accidental death and injury. When you are a biker, for instance, riding happily down the shoulder of a narrow street, trying your best not to interfere with automobile traffic and a car-driver pulls menacingly close behind you and starts laying on the horn, eventually swerving maniacally around you, it takes everything you have not to kick the back of the car and ride up the wrong way down a one way street. But it is essential to embrace the calm and keep your cool, even when others don’t.

Act Ca-Ca-Ca-Craaaazy

When I was a sixteen-year-old suburbanite who liked to spend most evenings with friends in the Philly, I had to learn really quickly how to cope with the new, the scary and the potentially dangerous. I was walking up Juniper Street in Center City when I was approached by an individual of spurious character. He was persistent and menacing asking for money and issuing vague threats. Not knowing what else to do, I started speaking in tongues interspersing a little shouting and some Tourettes-like rapid-fire cursing. This did the trick.