Survive That Flight!

Best & Worst

The creme de la creme and the sweaty arm pits of all airports. The list goes on and on….here!

No Jeans!

If you make the regrettable decision to slip on your 501’s before jumping on the plane, you’ll be miserable before the beverage cart arrives. Denim was invented for miners who needed a rough material for their labor-intensive jobs. Sitting on an airplane, though unpleasant, is not labor intensive. Your favorite jeans may look good while you’re waiting at the baggage claim, but after downing a tray full of preserved chicken parmesan you’ll be praying for a elastic waistband. Choose slacks or sweatpants, leggings or corduroy; on a four-hour flight in seat 34 C, you will realize, denim is the devil. 

The Help Don't Stop Here!

Doing the Holidays Alone?Airplane Must HavesLines are for Sissies!

No Caffeine!

I know the Starbucks holiday cups are hard to resist with their cuddly polar bears and smirking penguins, but caffeine before flying is a bad idea. The best way to avoid a dreadful in flight experience is to sleep through the whole thing. Even if your flight is an AM nightmare, coffee will only ensure that you’re awake for it. My advice? Walk past the coffee shop, don’t order a soda with your overpriced whopper meal and stick to water. Once you’re settled in your seat, veins free of heart pumping caffeine, you’ll drift off. Before you know it you’re in your mother’s Volvo listening to Kenny G’s rendition of Silver Bells. 

Screw the Rules!

Screw the rules the flight attendants spew at you before the flight. Ok, maybe not all of them but listening to your ipod during take-off and landing is not a crime. Perhaps the most exciting, and dangerous, part of the flight needs a little background music. There is something so magical about flying over an illuminated city with a little Miles Davis to soothe your soul. Sure, you’re risking a slap on the wrist but if the hour is dusk or dawn you have no choice but to plug it in. My tactic: keep the ipod under your sweatshirt and snake it up through your hood and into your ears. No one will ever know. 

The Right Read

We all bring reading material on our flights. From US Weekly to the New York Times, Harry Potter to Home Improvement for Dummies, we’re all reading. Whatever item you choose to dive into, it can get a little mundane after a couple of hours. Be a little scandalous and bring something that is hard to put down. Choose a book that entices your senses in the erotic sense. Now, don’t bring anything that will get you in trouble with the person next to you because that could be embarrassing for all parties. I suggest bringing a book with an overtone or theme that keeps you invested. Choose a romance novel, a how to book or even a sexy biography like The Sexual Life of Catherine M. That book got me from Hawaii to Seattle in no time. 

Packlite 101

People are always amazed by how little I pack; even for a month-long cross-continental jaunt, I’m prone to squeeze it all into a single carryon suitcase and big carryall totebag. Mastering the art of light’n’sweet packing hasn’t come easy (especially since those bastards over at TSA love to shake up the rules every couple months) but I have gained some invaluable Packing Wisdom over the years…

1. Check-in, shmeck-in…or something. Point is, checking in baggage adds at LEAST 30 minutes to each end of your travel, and opens the door for myriad trip-ruining screwups. I have had luggage gone missing, stuff stolen by sticky-fingered baggage handlers, not to mention hours and hours of life lost to gazing at the hypnotizing rotation of the baggage claim carousel. I’ve got news for you, kids: carousels are for carnivals, and baggage is for your overhead compartment.
2. Make every item a multi-use item! Except your toothbrush and underwear, of course. Unless you are jetting off to an awards ceremony or ball, it is totally fine to rewear vacation clothing, and besides, everyone is doing it. I have this great pair of bronze Cole Haan gladiator sandals that are comfy enough to carry me through a stroll across Paris, and cute enough to wear out at night. Bring stuff that you like wearing, that isn’t super-delicate or wrinkle-prone, and that you can wear from day to night. It’s a helluvalot more suitcase-friendly to prepare for a holiday night out by slapping on some jewelry, make-up, and a shawl, than changing into a froufy cocktail dress and bulky platform pumps.
3. Speaking of shawls, we come to my #1 faaaaavorite carry-on item: the Pashmina. (I speak here of either ‘real’ pashmina’s or the 3$ Chinatown variety…either will suffice and personally, having owned both kinds, theres not that big a diff.) The pashmina is a shape-shifting wonder of increased airplane comfort. First off, P. when folded can hide away in the side or bottom of your carryon with ease. When dramatically unfurled, however, P. becomes an extra blanket; a neck support (fold once or twice, twist, and tuck behind neck); a noise-cancelling device (wrap around your head muslim-style—this also improves the sound of those crappy airline headphones)…basically, the Pashmina is the original multi-tasking accessory before American Apparel pretended they invented the concept.
4. Prepare to gain some weight. No, not just because you’re pigging out and boozing like you’re, you know, on vacation. Inevitably, you will return home with more crap (gifts, purchases…) than you started with, and that’s okay. I like to fold up a lightweight duffel (LeSportsac does a nice rendition of this) and stow it in the outer pocket of my suitcase, and then I always have the option of carting some extra swag on the way home.
5. Efficiency doesn’t = ugly. You’re not taking much, so only bring what you love. Make it count, inside and out—I’ve gotten rave reviews from many a security checkpoint officer for my tomato-red Betsey Johnson mini-suitcase and jumbo “Prada” (thanks, shady Hong Kong ripoff designers) shoulder bag.