Stupid State Laws

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire

I hate to break it to all you pyros, but in Illinois it is illegal to eat in a building that is on fire. There goes my Friday night plans!

That guy is so going to jail

Citizens in New York may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”.

Not that I would normally greet someone like this, but now I’m very tempted to do so.

Citizens of New York...

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

My question to you is why would you want to? It’s not like you could continue eating it. The ice cream would be trickling down your pant leg and the cone would probably be crushed. More importantly, why is this illegal and why only on Sundays?

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane

Sorry Alaska. But look on the bright side, it must be okay to push one out of a parked plane. Can you park a plane? And really, an offense doesn’t really mean illegal. I’m just saying…

Massachusetts doesn't care if you're friend just died...

At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

Why stop at three? Why not two? Why does it even matter how much they eat? I’d be more concerned with the amount of alcohol they’re washing those sandwiches down with.

It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe’s neck

I really wonder how this became a law. How did someone randomly decide that a giraffe would make an excellent replacement for a boat or dock? The best part is that this is a law in Illinois. Since when does Illinois have giraffes roaming around?

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone’s head for fun

So what they’re saying is that balls are illegal, but shoes are fair game? Excellent!

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour

But it’s totally okay for this car to hit 40 MPH? Oh California, you’re silly. How would a car sans driver even make it up to 60 MPH? I imagine it would hit a wall or drive off a cliff before doing so.

Romeo & Juliet = Sexually Explicit

In New Mexico, State officials ordered 400 words of “sexually explicit material” to be cut from Romeo and Juliet.

Okay…this isn’t really a “law” per se, but it was too good to pass up. I’d expect this type of tomfoolery from Utah, but not from New Mexico.

Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their cab

Apparently this is only illegal in Massachusetts. I’m very okay with spreading this one around the U.S.