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St. Patrick's Day in Chicago (Yes, it's Totally AWESOME!!!)
- by elguapo
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- March 08, 2009
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Come to Chicago for St. Patrick's Day. Why? Well, if you come visit , El Guapo will give you the free guided tour (value: probably like $1,200 or something). Hooray!!
Contemplating visiting El Guapo for St. Patrick's Day? Of course you are...
Well, stop contemplating. And just do it. Tickets are cheap especially on the Jet Blue and the Southwest
#11 I have purchased ALL neccesary staples and food stuffs for the weekend
Does Whiskey count as beer?
Uncork It
393 E Illinois St, Chicago, IL 60611
You can purchase booze here. Yummy! They often have. specials on Jameson and always have a friendly demeanor. Hooray!!
You can purchase booze here. Yummy! They often have. specials on Jameson and always have a friendly demeanor. Hooray!!
#9 The First Round of Breakfast is on me.
Why is there a shrimp in my breakfast?
Nookies
1746 N Wells St, Chicago, IL 60614
If you do not want to do a liquid+seafood breakfast we can go to Nookies instead. This Old Town favorite has good eggs and 14 varieties of kids cereals on the menu including CTC. Delicious. Beat the crowd by showing up at 5 AM.
If you do not want to do a liquid+seafood breakfast we can go to Nookies instead. This Old Town favorite has good eggs and 14 varieties of kids cereals on the menu including CTC. Delicious. Beat the crowd by showing up at 5 AM.
Salt & Pepper Diner
2575 N Lincoln Ave, Chicago, IL 60614
This place is cool. Know why? Because they allow you to substitute pancakes for toast. You heard me right. AWESOME pancakes for poopy toast. Yeah, like I said, this place is totally awesome!!
This place is cool. Know why? Because they allow you to substitute pancakes for toast. You heard me right. AWESOME pancakes for poopy toast. Yeah, like I said, this place is totally awesome!!
#6 Shananigans
There’s nothing less dignifying than leaving your credit card at a bar called Shenanigans and having to sheepishly call up Google 411 the next morning hoping to retrieve it.
#4 Los Bombas de Carro
Es bueno!
McFadden's Saloon & Restaurant
1206 N State Pkwy, Chicago, IL 60610
Kind of like the McFadden’s in your home city. This McFadden’s is better though because it’s in Chicago. Cheap beers sliders and beers and the bathroom attendant (I think he’s an independent contractor) has one of the best assortments of gums, candies and mints in all of Chicago.
Kind of like the McFadden’s in your home city. This McFadden’s is better though because it’s in Chicago. Cheap beers sliders and beers and the bathroom attendant (I think he’s an independent contractor) has one of the best assortments of gums, candies and mints in all of Chicago.
#1 This year, we hang with my homey, Barack
“Barack, the most handsome of all St. Patrick’s Daughters”
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HERE ARE THE TOP 12 REASONS TO VISIT ME IN CHICAGO FOR ST. PATTY'S
#12 Guided tour of Chicago comes with one free kiss from El Guapo
Who wouldn’t want to kiss El Guapo?
Actually, you’re probably better off not kissing anyone while you are in Chicago. Everyone in Chicago plays beer pong and
Beer pong = HERPESIt’s true, I saw it on the Fox News channel.
#10 transportation to and from airport? Check!
Suck it PETA!!
If you are coming from Ireland to visit me, you should fly the Lingus. The service is excellent and if you bump up to Business Lingus class, you can hang out in the Lingus Lounge* while waiting at the airport.
*Lingus Lounge requires $8 cover and two soft drink minimum.
If you are coming from Ireland to visit me, you should fly the Lingus. The service is excellent and if you bump up to Business Lingus class, you can hang out in the Lingus Lounge* while waiting at the airport.
*Lingus Lounge requires $8 cover and two soft drink minimum.
#8 I have already entered our team into the annual "Oh Danny Boy" Kazoo Off
This Kazoo tastes like whiskey!!
#7 I own a plethora of funny hats, of which you can borrow one or more.
If you are coming to Chicago for St. Patrick’s Day, or as I like to call it, “stupid-ass hat day”, the first step in preparing for your journey is to purchase a hat that is humorous with many funny hahas on it like this one.
Fortunately, if you forget your headware, I have many o’stupid hats in my collection for you to choose from.
#5 I have already hired a chauffeur to drive us around for the weekend
So what if he’s a little young. He can drive. He’s almost eleven. Don’t like it? How bout you try finding a sober person in Chicago over St. Patty’s and see how well you do.
American Limo
Chicago, IL 60607
America, F*ck Yeah. This is actually the first limo service that came up in the Yellow Pages. But if I were a betting man, I’d bet they are AWESOME!!
America, F*ck Yeah. This is actually the first limo service that came up in the Yellow Pages. But if I were a betting man, I’d bet they are AWESOME!!
#3 Possible Blagojevich Sightings
The Grand Marshall of douche. He’s wearing a TEAL shirt to a St. Patrick’s day parade. Teal? Really? Come on, Blago. Get your act together.
#2 This is how wasted you will get
That’s a buttface in case you weren’t clear.
Great Success!! You have chosen to visit El Guapo for St. Patrick's Day
Hooray!!
Thank You for Using El Guapo Tour Company.
El Guapo says start preparing for your adventure now…
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.jpg "Shawna")
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I totally should have spend St. Paddy’s day in Chicago – oh well maybe next year.
.jpg "captinplanit")
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That lad in the green sports jacket is quite dashing.
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