World's Worst Spandex Disasters: Your Guide to the Do's and Don'ts (Mostly Don'ts) of Spandex
Just because you CAN, it doesn't mean you SHOULD, as proven time and time again by the fat lady in a bikini. Here's a guide to all the people who you don't want to see wearing spandex. They are wearing spandex. I don't know why you would read this guide.
I’m not entirely clear what’s going on here. Obviously, some woman has killed a cartoon horse and donned its skin, but the golden support hose in the background make no sense to me.
The spandex is for speed. Cuts down on wind resistance.
I don’t know what to say about this. A post-mastectomy lemon costume?
Less intimidating than miniature Spiderman, but keep trying.
The worst part of wearing spandex is having to take it off every time I go to the bathroom. It’s good to know that someone is pushing the technology forward; I hope the animal trials are almost over.
It’s not the Spiderman costume, that I object to, or the fact that he has apparently been shrunk by a minaturization ray, or even the fact that he’s hanging out in the produce section.
But gala apples? Everyone knows that Spiderman is a golden delicious man.
Will someone explain the pink wristbands to me?
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Fremont, Seattle
When I die, I want people to read my autobiography and think, "How on earth did that happen?" In the past few years, I have been an engineer, a dating coach, a Ph.D. candidate, a professional speaker, a reality TV star, a salesman, a freelance writer, and unemployed. It's a good start. I like new...
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