World's Worst Spandex Disasters: Your Guide to the Do's and Don'ts (Mostly Don'ts) of Spandex

Rate Guide Rating_4_0 (1)
-621177078

Just because you CAN, it doesn't mean you SHOULD, as proven time and time again by the fat lady in a bikini. Here's a guide to all the people who you don't want to see wearing spandex. They are wearing spandex. I don't know why you would read this guide.

I’m not entirely clear what’s going on here. Obviously, some woman has killed a cartoon horse and donned its skin, but the golden support hose in the background make no sense to me.

The spandex is for speed. Cuts down on wind resistance.

I don’t know what to say about this. A post-mastectomy lemon costume?

Less intimidating than miniature Spiderman, but keep trying.

The worst part of wearing spandex is having to take it off every time I go to the bathroom. It’s good to know that someone is pushing the technology forward; I hope the animal trials are almost over.

 

His cup runneth over.

It’s not the Spiderman costume, that I object to, or the fact that he has apparently been shrunk by a minaturization ray, or even the fact that he’s hanging out in the produce section.

But gala apples? Everyone knows that Spiderman is a golden delicious man.

Oh God no.

Will someone explain the pink wristbands to me?

So you're a glutton for punishment? Check out:

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Discussions

-621160798

Wow. Totally a bait and switch with the Guide thumbnail.

-621814168

Yup, nothing like a nice pair of… shoulders.

-619583138

Um. I see nothing wrong with the image chosen to present the guide. I’m not saying that I just made it the background to my computer’s desktop, but… well, no, I guess I am sort of saying that.

About The Author

-621814168

improbable Rss 

Fremont, Seattle
When I die, I want people to read my autobiography and think, "How on earth did that happen?" In the past few years, I have been an engineer, a dating coach, a Ph.D. candidate, a professional speaker, a reality TV star, a salesman, a freelance writer, and unemployed. It's a good start. I like new...