Signs You Have a Raging Facebook Problem

by aubree_munar
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September 22, 2009
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What are you doing right now? @ubree is writing a guide... Tell me what other signs I should be on the lookout for. Is there a topical cream that can clear up this little problem?

by Graham Roumieu

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Change your status every two seconds

You just choked a little on your orange juice. Walked ten blocks all by yourself. Saw a good commercial. Wonder if anyone else ever has profound thoughts while washing their hands in the office bathroom? Empty the contents of your head here, friends!

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Facebook Cake

You ask for a Facebook cake for your birthday. Really? Really.

added by Susie 04/03/2009

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YOu LiKe A lOt oF STufF

You tried a new cereal yesterday. And you’d like everyone to know about it. You like Bob Marley. (Which begs the question: does anyone not like Bob Marley?) You like kittens. Again, does that really need to be said? Aww, yes, it does…kittenses!! Anyway, you like a lot of stuff and we don’t need to know about all of it. If we’re actually your friends we already know.

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Cried Wolf

So many comments, notes, eggs, and status changes that your friends have no choice but to tune you out. And when you have something really exciting to report, it may be too late; they may have even “Less About”ed you. Harsh, true, but not altogether undeserved if you really think about it.

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You Mistake everyone else's posts for a running conversation with YOU

You can’t just let it lie, can you? Makes you squirm a little in your chair, doe’n it? Your fingers are twitching, you just want to comment on everyone’s everything. Do you really think it makes them feel special when you post a fleeting “Hey you, how you been?” if they can see your 18-hr. rampage of “hey’s” and “hi’s” in the newsfeed? You’ve “caught up” with eight different people you haven’t spoken with since the fifth grade by 10 a.m. for God’s sake.

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the quizzes are bad, but what about the mafia wars!??! i wish i could somehow filter those from my feed.

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About The Author

aubree_munar

Sunnyside

The name's Aubree. I'm a New England-Yorker, writer/editor, and a day trip enthusiast. In my humble opinion, the best "bang-for-your-buck" day trip in the metro NYC area is a train trip to Sleepy Hollow. (In the Fall, of course.) -@