Activities That Should Be Extreme Sports

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Yesterday, I was cutting up a mango and I was like damn, this is so hard, this should be an extreme sport. And that got me thinking that some things are WAY underrated for their degree of difficulty. What do you think should be granted extreme sport status?

Mango Slicing

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Have you ever tried to cut up one these? It’s damn hard! Mangoes are slippery suckers, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve almost lost a finger during a mango slicing exercise.

Concert Going

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I don’t know how I went to multiple shows a week in my “younger” days. It’s loud, it’s pushy, and it’s downright dangerous. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been smacked in the head at a show. And they call football a contact sport!

Law School

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All the law school students I know don’t seem to do anything but sleep, eat, and study (and it seems like more often than not they skip the whole sleeping part). The whole thing sounds more grueling than the Iditarod.

Babysitting

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Don’t get me wrong, I like kids, but they will suck the lifeblood outta you like nobody’s business. Or like a small vampire.

Shopping at Ikea

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Shopping at Ikea isn’t so much a contact sport (although you might have to beat someone to the punch if you want those remaining Sommar pillows), but IT IS an endurance sport. Not only does it take 5 years to find your way out of Ikea, but once you’re done you have to haul the stuff outta there yourself. And let me tell you particle board is HEAVY.

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by the_mean_...  05/15/2009

THIS IS SUCH AN EXTREME SPORT, WOW. SO TRUE.

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by elijay  05/15/2009

After an all-day Ikea visit I was so looking forward to $1 ice cream at the checkout and when I got there they were out! I almost cried.

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by aliciak  06/09/2009

Yep! Or something you had no idea you needed but totally do! Damn, Ikea, damn.

Disneyland Visiting

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The Happiest Place on Earth, my ass! This is the most exhausting place on earth. The last time I went here I felt like I’d been hit by a truck when the day was over.

 

Driving in Los Angeles

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Angelenos become a crazy, vindictive bunch when they get behind the wheel. So hold on tight, and pray that the person you just cut off doesn’t have a firearm in their glove compartment.

Going to the Barneys New York Warehouse Sale

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Have you ever been to one these things? You can seriously lose an eye here if you’re not careful. In fact, now that I think about it, I almost did! When I went to the winter sale a few months ago, some woman was rifling through the hangers so hard she hit in me in the eye!

Deli Sandwich Eating

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I have absolutely NO IDEA how anyone manages to eat one of these, you can barely pick it up, let alone fit it inside your mouth. Anyone who manages to eat one of these (this particular one happens to be the Woody Allen from the Carnegie Deli in NYC) deserves some sort of plaque.

Installing a Wireless Network

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Maybe I’m just a goon when it comes to tech stuff, but whenever I’ve tried to install a wireless network it’s just been heartache and heartbreak.

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by ghosty  06/09/2009

If by extreme you mean causes profuse sweating and isn’t necessarily safe to be done within earshot of tender youngsters ears, then yes, this should be considered an extreme sport.

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by elijay  06/09/2009

Haha. YES and YES.

Claw Machines

Pre-gambling claw machine warm-up

I am obsessed with sinking tons of quarters into claw machine madness. It’s still hit or miss, but I have a fairly impressive streak of winning. As I approach many things, I intensely focus and concentrate until I run out of money. One of my proudest moments was winning a baseball pillow from one of those giant claw machines you could live inside of. FIRST TRY. I wowed all of Dave & Buster’s. This was, like, 2 years ago…

added by aliciak 06/09/2009
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by elijay  06/09/2009

Genius! It is nigh-impossible to win anything outta these things— an extreme sport indeed!

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Discussions

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by the_mean_bean  05/15/2009  Show 2 Replies

I want to try riding a dolphin. Where can I sign up?

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by hi_liner  05/15/2009  Show 1 Reply

That guide icon is awesome. That NEEDS to become a sport.

About The Author

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elijay Rss 

The SFV, Los Angeles
Likes: sweet pickles, English Bulldog puppies, jukeboxes, bicycles, and wheat beer. Dislikes: traffic jams, people who talk during yoga classes, murky swimming pools, excessively sweet frosting, and surly librarians.

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