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The Sexy Shakespeare Guide to Love in New York

By aliciak
updated 5 months ago

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"If music be the food of love, play on," he wrote, and if you had a cool high school English teacher, or just a knack for dissecting Shakespeare, you know that, in addition to being a romantic writer, he was raunchy as hell. All those "O's" are there for a reason! It's time to brush up on some lines o' love and utilize the many Shakespeare-related venues in the city to get going on that wooing project of yours.

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The man himself

Shakespeare is for Lovers

Although you may have memories of getting a C+ on that Romeo and Juliet paper, or arduously having to memorize speeches from Julius Caesar, you are now an adult. And that means you should be taking advantage of the over 1,300 sexual allusions found in William’s work and using them for your love life.

Buy "The Complete Works of Shakespeare"

But not just any “complete works.” This particular one! Chances are that most of the Shakespeare you’ve read has been severely edited.

It was requested by the famous Royal Shakespeare Company that all of the questionable, vulgar, and bawdy language that had been stripped away from the plays and poetry be restored. They hereby give you this massive compilation.

Statue - La Sensualité des Ombres

La Sensualité des Ombres

Buy "Filthy Shakespeare: Shakespeare's Most Outrageous Sexual Puns"

304 pages of literary smut. Did you know that the word “nothing” often referred to a particular, Southern region of the female anatomy?

“Much Ado About Nothing,” anyone?

“Quick, quick, fear nothing…and fix most firm thy resolution.” Take a guess folks as to what this refers to!

Shakespeare & CO Booksellers

138 Watts Street, New York, NY 10013

Stay A While

The Art of the Sonnet

A couple of years ago, I confidently said aloud, “I shall write a sonnet.” I had 5 jobs at the time and no time to spare, but I set out to study sonnets and iambic pentameter in order to approach this challenge. I made lists of rhyming words and brought my drafts everywhere I went, should some inspiration strike me.

Finally, I did it. And it’s not half-bad! But damn, it was HARD. Shakespeare composed 154 of them, so you’d better get started on your first. Why? Because the object of your wooing will not be able to resist you if you write a romantic sonnet for him or her.

Shakespeare's Sonnets Online

Shakespeare in the Garden

I am a sucker for Shakespeare gardens.  What are Shakespeare gardens?  They are created only with plants and flowers that are mentioned in his literary works. Nerdy, I know. Have a few examples ready, like where primroses are mentioned (Hamlet) and maybe you’ll get to first base.

Flowers

Primrose

Belvedere Castle Central Pk W

New York, NY 10001

The Shakespeare Garden is right behind the Castle.

The Shakespeare Garden is right behind the Castle.

Brooklyn Botanic Garden

1000 Washington Ave, Brooklyn, NY 11225

 

Shakespeare in the Park

Every year, a couple of Shakespeare summer festivals take place in our fair city. Yes, you have to stand in line forever to get tickets, but that shows dedication, and come on, they are FREE tickets. Take that guy or gal you’re crushing on to one of lovey-dovey tragedies or bawdy comedies. It will beat dinner-and-a-movie.

shakespeare in the park

The Delacorte

Delacorte Theater

81 Central Park W, New York, NY 10023

THE Shakespeare in the Park festival happens here, and this summer, Hamlet is on the schedule. I have fond memories of skipping a college day’s worth of class to read Hamlet from start to finish (for the first time) before seeing the 4+ hour play that night (also for the first time). Good times!

THE Shakespeare in the Park festival happens here, and this summer, Hamlet is on the schedule. I have fond memories of skipping a college day’s worth of class to read Hamlet from start to finish (for the first time) before seeing the 4+ hour play that night (also for the first time). Good times!

New York Classical Theatre's Shakespeare in the Park

Central Park West and West 103rd Street New York, NY 10025

This year, check out Cymbeline, one of Shakespeare’s lesser known plays but one of my favorites. (Does liking obscure Shakespeare plays make me a literary snob?) Within the play is a bet that one of the characters, Imogen, cannot be seduced. Hopefully you won’t be making (and losing) a bet like that with your date.

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The Romeo and Juliet statues in Central Park.

Shakespeare Festival in Inwood

Indian Road and 218th Street new york, ny 10034

That movie with Leonardao DiCaprio and Claire Danes? Actually from a little Shakespeare play called Romeo and Juliet. Go see it up in Inwood…if you know where that is!

MORE New York Classical Theatre's Shakespeare in the Park

1 Whitehall Street New York, NY 10004

If you haven’t seen Macbeth yet, you haven’t lived. The following quote from it might just be my favorite Shakespearean line ever:

“Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.”

That should get you in the “mood”! Riiiight.

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“Free Love”: last year’s clever ad for the Delacorte Theater’s Shakespeare in the Park.

Get Tix to Cymbeline or Macbeth

Get Tix to Hamlet

Get Tix to Romeo and Juliet

All Things Shakespeare

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